First Encounters

For those of you who have yet to have an bi encounter with another man, how would you want it to happen? When, where, how, who? Be as descriptive as you like.

For those of us that have had their first encounter, how did it go for you? Was it what you expected? Were you scared? Again be as descriptive as you like.

 

If I were to go back I would want something like this:

We would grab a cup of coffee, then jump in my Mustang and go for a drive. We’d chat for a bit to get comfortable. After a while I’d ask you to show me your cock. I’m guessing you would be a bit timid at first, so to show good faith I would slide my shorts to the floor board. (I’ve practiced this a few times.) You would eventually pull yours out and expose it for me to see. 'May I touch it?’ I would ask. By this point I would be well on my way to a full on erection, with you close behind. I would hope that you wouldn’t turn down my request, and I could begin stroking your shaft. You would begin to do the same to me as well.
At some point we would have to find a secluded spot to pull into, where we could safely suck each other off to completion.

In reality, my first encounter was nothing like that. My wife and I had been chatting with a guy in a AOL chat room ( remember those days?) And exploring the possibility of a MMF 3some. We got pretty explicit about what we were going to do. But I felt it was just talk. One weekend for our birthdays we went to Niagara Falls for our birthdays and stayed in a hotel there. My wife's phone goes off and she says "I'll be right down." My heart started racing, as I quickly figured out what was about to happen. I was quite nervous to say the least. It took a bit of coaxing, but I eventually reached out for his cock and jerked him for a bit. Not much longer after that and he was balls deep in my face. He exploded down my throat. I never did get off, I was just way over excited that night.

 

My first experience was with a gay man who I let suck my cock several times prior to me sucking his cock. I was experiencing a lull in sex with the wife at the time and had been propositioned by several men wanting to give me a blow job. I was stopping over at this guys apartment (1993) for blow jobs a couple nights a week after work when one night I asked him if I could suck his. This was the first time I was fully naked with another man and to my surprise I was quite comfortable and relaxed as I went between his legs and took his flaccid cock into my mouth. The little voice in my head says "You're sucking a cock!" Then the voice says "This is not bad at all, it's actually quite enjoyable". We ended up in the 69 position sucking each other off for about the next two hours and a part of "ME" was released that I never knew existed. Before I left we showered together and sucked each other off once again. It's been a very active 20+ years (off & on) with other married men lacking the oral attention they desired from their wives.

 

Mmmm. I remember my first time. I had wanted to suck a nice big cock for a long time. I had never told anyone about my fantasy. I used to be a swinger and I was at a party. There was a woman there that I wanted to have sex with and she had always said that it was a major turn on for her to see a straight man suck cock. I used this as my added encouragement that it was the right time. The guy she invited over was 24 and HUNG. He had a beautiful cock. She took it out and sucked it hard while I watched. Then she pointed it at me like it was a microphone. Lol. It stuck up far past his belly button. It had to be 10”. I remember taking his cock in my hand, it was so hard. I wrapped my lips around it and took it as deep as I could. There were 8 other people there watching me suck his cock. I loved it, but I didn’t want anyone to know how much I loved it.

Now I’m off to play hockey and all I can think about is having a nice big cock in my mouth. I hope I don’t get hard in the dressing room with all the cock in there.

 

So far i have fantasized only about the sexual act(s) with a man, sometimes my wife is in these fantasies sometimes not. My wife went through menopause 5 years ago, as a result my masturbating migrated into edging at times and i can say that most of my fantasies involve a large erect penis pounding me on all fours. Taking a man in my mouth is also on the table within the last year. Im not sure " how i would want my first to go" at all although i usually feel like he is younger, ( I'm over 50) i wonder what those chances are? I think in order for me to actually have sex with a man, the situation would have to be impossibly perfect. I say this because i only think about being with a man when I'm masturbating. So maybe here's a scenario: i have been naked in steam rooms once or twice. Once was at a Ballys like 20 years ago and it was early morning and empty so i was a bit brave and actually masturbated in the sauna so ok, first time fantasy here goes :

I'm in a steam room naked and a man whom my wife knows approaches me and tells me how beautiful my ass is, ( he of course has already discussed his desire to fuck me with her and she has green lighted us) im aroused right away, paying attention to my ass is my kryptonite i don't care if you are male or female. I roll onto my stomach on the tile bench exposing some of my ass for him and i can glimpse some of his girth beneath his towel. He moves next to me and asks if he can pull down my towel further and as i do my best to disguise my rising heart rate, i say yes. I hear a barely audible groan from him as my shaven ass is exposed and as his hand touches my thigh my legs begin to automatically spread while my back arches showing him more of what he now must have. I can hear his irregular breath and in my mind i believe he wants nothing more than to fuck the ass before him. He praises the shape of my buttocks and begins tounging each cheek slowly moving towards my most sensitive area. The closer his mouth gets to my anus, the more i begin to quiver, begging inside, for all of him but at the same time mesmerized by the process, wanting to savor each second. We're both sweaty and slippery and then finally i feel a warm smooth tongue on my neatly shaved anus and my lower body instinctively jolts towards his mouth a bit. His tongue is now hard on my opening, and i arch even further like a cat in heat... exposing and submitting at the same time. There's a pause and i feel him pull one leg away from the other as he moves in towards me... then finally, for the first time in my life I feel the firm warm head of a real live, very large cock glance briefly against my inner thigh then press onto the smooth glistening skin of my anus... from decades of practice on phallic shapes my body instinctively goes rigid with anticipation...my knees jerk outwards a bit and my ass centers onto the welcome invader remaining motionlessly polite devoid of any fore or aft movement... every ounce of me wants to thrust back but savoring every second with patience wins out. I feel strong hands on my hips and a pressure increase at my center... at this point, i am taken and so entranced that i no longer even feel male... in my mind my anatomy now possesses an inviting, tight, wet aching pussy dripping with the desire to be forced open. The moment arrives when his inflamed frenulum forges ahead gently opening me. I feel the pressure and silently beg for it's increase. Nerve endings sense his full diameter and to my utter joy, his amazing head is followed by a thick slippery shaft. With desires winning, his shaft finally begins to slide inside me, every nerve and cell in my pussy is lit up and each nano second of pleasure is committed to memory. My pussy begins to feel his head and individual veins as the pace begins to mount. I move to all fours in order to provide maximum access and submission to what my ass has begged for for so long. Fingernails begin to dig into my 34 inch waist while all of my 6'3" frame is rocked by the increase in contact... slight slapping noises begin as his pace begins to build and i shudder feeling his occassional exploratory urge to plow every centimeter he has deep inside, even though keeping his head just at my opening feels more intense for him. In no time the long entirety of this beautiful pulsating cock is now fully exiting me and plunging back in with each thrust only coming to rest momentarily to ensure he cannot penetrate further... confirming he has vanquished what is now his... it's at these moments when another fantasy comes to fruition: with fingernails into my hips and ALL of his manhood residing within me, it is his trimmed pubic hairs prickling my inner most vaginal flesh that tells me i have all of him there is to have. My thoughts become blurred as my mind races with pleasure ...im so overcome with erotica i barely noticed two newcomers , both men are naked, erect and seem to know the man fucking me. I can barely think im so drunk with bewildered pleasure but then feel a sensation deep inside me and i scream out realizing his head has flared even more with an acompanying new pulsating sensation and i realize that finally, finally! a man is going to cum deep inside me! Hot bursts light up a new place within me and Im dumbstruck knowing i finally have another man's semen inside but he stays rock hard and pulls out... little did i know this man's deposit was part of a plan.
In an instant he was on his back pulling me onto him and as i eagerly positioned to be filled again i feel a second heavy cock thumping against my inner ass cheek. Instant shock hits me as i realize the beautiful hot ejaculate deposited in me has a second intended purpose, and that i would need it, in order to force not one but two beautiful huge erections into my now weary pussy. I jumped on my first partner's cock like a pro and arched my back impossibly high as if coaxing... begging this second man to follow through with what i thought might happen. I could feel the slippery cum oozing out of me and before i could do anything else a second equally large cock slams fully into my overloaded snatch. My body intrinsically begins to writhe and quiver in random directions as my mind is inundated with more than i ever imagined. As my beautiful little ass is getting more than it ever dreamed i began to yell only to have a third 11 inch erect penis slide completely down my throat...muffled... bewildered and incapable of any more sensory input i completely surrender as all three men push and pull violently... with the pleasure immeasurable and my brain in overload i barely can realize i have only one new sense left to discover but also knew that sensation would signal an end. the men grunted and thrust their members into me while a cacophony of moans filled the room for what seemed like an eternity...i continue to beg for more in my mind but exhausted i feared collapse... it seemed i may pass out from both sheer ecstacy and choking when the pulsing familiar swell within me began. My throat and pussy both seemed to shrink, then i realized it was the swelling of the three men inside me that had begun. I began stroking wildly in anticipation of the inevitable... with my ass stretched like never before and my throat equally full i gyrated my groin and thrust my head to and fro like a possessed demon coaxing what i knew i wanted in me... with all of their strength, these men pulled and thrust with all they had and with whatever it was i had left, finally identified a warm creamy pressure not only in my throat, but again deep inside my pussy once more.

 

My wife held my head and guided my first cock into my mouth

 

My fantasy involves hooking up with another married guy that has some experience. I've never done anything sexual with another guy so I'm nervous and not sure how I might react. We meet for a drink and to check each other out and I'm pleasantly surprised that he's a nice guy, good at conversation, not overbearing at all, and we hit it off. After a couple of drinks, we decide to go to a hotel and split the room cost. I check in and go to the room, then I text him the room number, in a couple of minutes there's a knock on the door.
We decide to shower together, and he has a nice package, not too big, not too small with a gorgeous cut cock, he evidently likes what he sees in my package, an uncut cock a tad bigger than average.
We get in the shower, make the water nice and warm and pretty soon we're all soaped up, and the turning point happens when I'm washing my cock.
Being uncut, I pull the skin back to wash the head when I notice him watching me, and he's getting hard.
He says omg that is so awesome, and he gets on his knees and takes my wet, sensitive cockhead between his lips and at the same time, starts caressing my balls and moving his hands back and forth between my balls and my ass.
I groan with pleasure and he takes my rapidly hardening cock all the way in his throat and then back out, then back in, over and over.
The pleasure is so intense, I'm afraid I'm going to cum too fast, so I shut off on shower and we move to the bed which helps slow things down a little.
He lays down on the bed and I lay down in the opposite direction because I'm so horny and turned on, I have to suck his cock. We move closer together and he takes my cock into his mouth and I move towards his cock, seeing the drop of precum that's formed at the tip. I gently grasp his cock, move my mouth to the head, using my tongue to taste the sweet saltiness of his juice, then in one motion, I take his cock in my mouth and I love it.
Velvety smooth and firm at the same time, I suck him and deep throat his cock as much as I can, I make sure to keep it super wet and give the hole at the tip special attention with my tongue.
He moans and I feel his cock swell as he begins to cum, I deep throat him once more, then feel his warm, sweet load in my throat, this puts me over the edge and I shoot my hot load into his mouth.
We've sucked each other to completion and we both lay back, enjoying the warm, satisfied feeling that comes with orgasm. My first time has been incredible and I'm thinking, got to have more of this in the future....

 

I went to an adult book store to get a blowjob through a glory hole. A hard cock came through first and I sucked it. Loved it.

 

P.S. , but we weren't finished, after we rested for a while, I felt his hand on my ass, gently rubbing and squeezing them. I heard him say softly, " mmmm, you have a nice ass, can I play with it ?",
I just reached back with my hands, and spread my cheeks, exposing my hole, he said " I guess that's your answer ", and gently rubbed my hole with his finger. He said " the water from our shower's gone, it would be better if it was wet ".
I said " yeah it would, got any ideas ?"
He said " roll on to your belly and spread your legs " , so I roll on to my stomach and spread out in a V.
He moves in between my legs, spreads my ass open and in about 2 seconds I feel his tongue on my hole, licking it, fucking it, making it so wet...
I moan in pleasure because I've never felt ANYTHING this good, my cock has gotten super hard and I know I'm going to cum if he keeps this up.
After a few more seconds, he says " now you're nice and wet", and I feel him get up and he walks across the room and gets something out of his pants pocket.
I have a feeling I know what it is and when I hear the condom package tear open, I know for sure.
When he walks back to the bed, I can see he's put the rubber on his cock and in his hand he has a small bottle of lube. He leans over the bed and says to me " I want to fuck you so bad, do you want to try it ?".
I said "yeah but take it easy, my ass has never had a real cock, and I didn't get to really prepare for it".
He said" I'll get you ready and take it nice and slow, and don't worry about the other, I've got a rubber on"
He then pours some lube on my hole and puts some on his fingers, and starts fingering me, stretching my hole slowly, preparing it for his cock.
He said" you seem to be clean and I think you're ready, want to try it ?",
I gasp yes in reply because I'm so turned on I feel like I'm about to explode, he gets behind me on his knees, puts his cock on my hole and begins to push slowly.
I can feel my hole opening for him and I'm glad he's not any bigger, if he was it would hurt, but his cock feels wonderful in my ass.
He says" you OK ?" I say yes, keep going easy, he pushes a little more and suddenly he's in me balls deep and I start shivering all over, I can't help it, the feeling of my virgin ass full of cock is so incredible, I feel like I might cum at any second.
He slowly starts stroking my hole and the feeling only gets better, I reach under and feel my cock, I've lost my hard on but the sheet is soaked with my precum and I start stroking my cock as he fucks me.
His cock and my ass are pleasuring each other and I know this can't go on much longer, the pleasure is just too intense. All at once I feel his cock swell just a little more and I know he's going to cum.
His body tightens and I hear him gasp out " I'm gonna cum !!", I can barely hear him because my hand is stroking my still slightly soft cock, but when he says that, something turns loose inside me and I have the most intense orgasm of my life, my hand is covered in cum...

 

I’m 40 now and been bicurious for about as long as I can remember. Started out with tasting my own cum, playing with my hole then one day I kinda realized that’s kinda what guys do with each other. After YEARS of trying to figure out what I was I decided I was a guy that loved and would spend my life with a woman but the idea of sex with a guy on occasion turned me on..A LOT!
After years of thinking about it and chickening our I was stuck in a hotel for a few days for work and under an extreme amount of pressure. So I started checking some guy/guy stuff online and I decided I was going to try to find a guy to come over and if nothing else masterbate together and possibly I would hold his cock. After a few guys flakes and I was kinda in a super horny state of mind I started talking to this guy and he was willing to come over. I was super nervous and kept telling myself “you aren’t really going to go through with this right” but I never told him not to come.
It wasn’t long and he showed up at my door and I invited him in. We talked for a bit and he ask where I wanted to do it at on the couch or in the bed. I picked the couch. We undressed and started playing with our cocks and before long I ask him if I could touch it and he was cool so I reached over and started stroking his cock. It was at that point I threw total caution in the wind and I knew I was gonna suck on this thing. I ask him if I could and he readily said yes so I got on my knees and touched my tongue to my first cock....I was probably a little too eager at that point like I was in a hurry because I just took it in and started going at it.
I think I was too nervous and forgot all about technique I had thought about for the past 22 years but I did deep throat without an issue so that was cool.
I did it for a while and then he did me. He was insanely good at it. I could have cum really easy but he didn’t want me to in his mouth.
He was a cool guy but he was uncut and I didn’t really like that. It was also very random and very risky which I will never do again because I would like to try more...much more and not worry like hell afterward.
That’s how my first time went. It was fun and maybe I’ll do it again one day.

 

47 year old single guy here. Virgin to same sex pleasure so I'll be describing what I would like, depending on my mood.
If I'm in a more aggressive mood, I would want to lose my same sex virginity getting gangbanged. Something about the thought of multiple guys desiring me sexually makes me excited. Sex doesn't happen right away. The guys get all of my clothes off so I'm naked in a room full of clothed guys. CMNM. I feel so vulnerable in the nude while these guys keep their clothes on and anticipate their turns to fuck me. Maybe I do a little dance to show off my body and whet their appetites for me. The guys pass by me, feel me up, kiss me. They tease me about how much fun it's gonna be banging me all weekend, how much fun they're gonna have making me realize I love being with guys. Slowly my fuckers start to take their clothes off. I get on my knees and take my first dick in my mouth. I enjoy his taste but perhaps more importantly, it feels so natural putting it in my mouth. The guys cheer me and urge me on. Another guy comes in from behind and inserts a wet feeling finger in my ass. I know this is lube and I know what he intends to do. He fingers me for a few strokes. After that gets smoother he continues adding another finger, then another. He whispers in my ear, "Do you want me to fuck you?" I take the dick out of my mouth and say in a bewildered voice, "Yes. Please!" In another whisper, "Say it louder so everyone knows what you want." I turn my head around to look him straight in the eyes and respond with a clear and determined, if still bewildered, voice, "I want you to fuck me. Please fuck me! Fuck me like a girl!" I'm gradually letting go of my inhibitions and not being fully aware of this. I'm kind of shocked that I just asked a guy to fuck me like a girl. But I'm also relieved that I have gotten past a certain hurdle, and I'm excited to experience this new adventure. "We're all gonna fuck you like a girl. We're gonna own you. Right, guys?" is his response, followed by a rousing approval of all the other guys who will have a piece of me. "And you're gonna love every bit of it. You're gonna love being passed around like a slut. The first guy's dick winds up in my mouth again, and the three fingers go in and out for some time. Now they come out and I know what goes in next. I can't wait! He puts his cockhead on my taint and drags it back and forth along my buttcrack, teasing my hole as he passes it. Now his head pokes in me. He stays there for a few seconds. I can feel more lube so he's probably lubing himself up. Slowly his dick slides completely into me. "Congratulations!" he whispers to me. "Now you're a faggot." It hits me like a ton of bricks: me, a faggot. A term of derision. Something I have always been afraid of being called. Something I have always been afraid of becoming. I have crossed that hard line. I have a man's erect penis inside of me, in the presence of other men who intend to put theirs inside of me too. In an act of sex. In an act of domination over me. In an act of my complete surrender of my will, of my hangups. Despite my fears this is the moment I have been preparing for, the moment I have been waiting for. The moment I embrace tightly my attraction, fondness, desire, lust for the same sex. And I'm doing it in probably the biggest way possible. Yes, I'm a faggot. I spend the weekend doing things and having things done to me I never imagined. I experience emotions I never knew I could ever feel. I loosen up in more ways than one! I spend most of the weekend in fingercuffs. Some positions work better than others. That's one thing I learn. At some point some of the more sadistic guys tie me up, gag me and blindfold me for awhile in various combinations while they fuck me. Over the course of time I get more covered in cum, and I swallow load after load. Lube is soon no longer necessary as there is so much cum in me it's dripping out of my ass. Towards the end of this hormone filled introduction, I'm so loose two guys manage to get both of their dicks inside of me and fuck me at the same time. When all is said and done, I'm finished. I ache. I can barely walk but it's not entirely because of physical abuse and exhaustion. I cry. The first guy who fucked me, the guy who made me embrace my faggotry, takes me in his arms and holds me. "You did really well. I'm proud of you, man!" he says while letting me continue crying. I am conscious of his pride for and support of me. My cry is deep. I haven't cried like this in a long, long time. But my cry is far from a cry of regret. It's a cathartic cry. He realizes this. It's not just my body that has been fucked hard and long, but also my soul. The sexual tension was building for so long and now I'm enjoying its release. As soon as I can compose myself, I say to him, "Thank you. Thank you for taking care of me in a way I have needed for years." Turning to the others, I continue, "Thank all of you! I'm so much better now." I go around the room hugging and kissing all these guys who rocked my world in a badly needed way. In a joking way but with full intentions, I ask if they can do me again sometime. "Sure thing...faggot!" now said not in a derogatory, submissive way, but with affection and a slight sense of humor. After this weekend fuckfest, I feel ready to attempt to realize every realistic sexual fantasy I have ever had, without hesitation, without doubt, without fear. And I have a roomful of horny guys to thank for my new freedom.
I'll write my other first time fantasy at another time. It will come eventually, and could be hurried up if someone expresses they're eager to hear it. It's getting late now, plus writing this took a lot out of me emotionally. I hope whoever read this enjoyed it, and brings us, and especially myself, closer to fulfilling some of my dreams.

 

I don't live too far from Niagara Falls. You ever get an itch to go back? Lol

 

I was simply seduced, but I don't regret it...

 

Same for me, seduced at age 22 and have been happily bi ever since.

 

Happened in my adolesce during a sleepover at our house by a friend of my brothers who was well liked by my family. He gave me my 1st ever orgasm...thought I'd falllen off the face of the Earth! So early on, I was addicted to...orgasms. As time went on, I realized it was way easier to get that incredible feeliing from another guy than it was to achieve it with someone of the opposite sex. Mind you, I was 99.8% wired for heterosexuality, but for moi it didn't matter who made my pee-pee feel good. It was decades later on before I enjoyed reciprocity to same sex encounters.

 

This is rather long, but it's definitely a good representation of how I would like things to go!!!

 

I would love to find a male masseuse that would give me a massage like you described.....I'd be a regular customer...

 

Sexual neglect that certain women project upon their male partner can, has, and will likely drive him to alternatives that will provide what he is suddenly lacking in order to maintain his manhood. I was experiencing this, and it was driving me crazy. I so wanted to sexually interact with my wife, yet I was provided excuse after excuse as to why she was unable to do so. Weeks turn into months and for a bonded couple to separate from sexual activity over months at a time for reasons like, I'm too tired, I have to get up early, the kids are causing whatever. It's horrible to experience as you (the man) make every effort to make that time available for the two of you, yet it once again seems to fall upon deaf ears. As time went by, I simply gave up trying and as much as I worshiped her as my wife, I realized I'm being pushed away for reasons that I felt were unacceptable having almost belittled myself so many times to resorting to begging for her to provide...It happens all too many times and my wife at the time forced me elsewhere (not by my choice) but because she was unable to discuss sex anymore, like that flame that she once had up into her thirties, suddenly burned out in her mid-forties. OMG, sex in your forties is the greatest. You sleep so well afterwards and the next day upon awakening is the greatest. It's really sad that it happens to so many men. That pussy of hers was always at the top of my list for 25 years to pleasure but she took away the last 10 years of our marital sex away and it forced me into things I had never expected myself to endure, let alone seriously enjoy. We eventually divorced after 25 years for financial reasons (her credit card debt that I was unwilling to resolve for a four time) was never going to change as she personally caused financial pain for the entire family two too many times.

 

I have asked many a woman, "If you're not going to have sex with your man, who's supposed to?" and their answer has been many different flavors of, "Nobody is!" but then they wonder (a) why their man is straying and (b) um, he might be doing it with other men. It creates many a first encounter situation that, maybe, the husband didn't want to have, didn't want to go there, but the lack of that important marital intimacy has driven many a man into the arms and beds of other men.

It's... understandable that women have their own shit going on and that, for them, sex is very close to the bottom of her list of things to do. You can tell her that, barring physical difficulties, denying hubby sex isn't going to end well for either of them and if you really don't want him having sex with anyone else, um, you need to fuck your man if you want to keep him... because if you don't...

You just never, ever underestimate what a sex-starved man might do. Explain this to her and it's not like she doesn't know this, and it winds up being one of those "Yeah, but..." situations where she acknowledges that what you said is right - then explains what that 'but' means and the reason might not make a lot of sense. "If you don't take care of your man/woman, someone else can and will..." is something a lot of folks don't really believe until it happens to them.

And if you don't, your husband is going to have a first encounter that'll change his life, maybe in ways he never expected or wanted, but this is what happens when you don't fuck your husband.

 

OK. This is not fantasy, it really happened to me in 2013 when I was 51. It was my first encounter doing anal with another man. I had fantasized about this for decades. Countless times at home I had been jerking off to gay porn and fantasizing about doing everything with another man, not just sucking cock, but rimming and fucking his asshole, and being fucked, passionately kissing, having a regular fuck buddy, even falling in love and having a boyfriend, even getting married to another man. I just wanted to be and do everything gay. I was still attracted to women, and even pursued them, only to be rejected time after time, each time driving me back to the gay porn.

Countless times these desires drove me out with the urgent desire to fulfil all of them. The easiest thing was to go to different gay sex venues like video arcades, straight porn theaters, back rooms of gay bars, bath houses, and gay sex clubs. But every time I ended up naked there, in front of a real man, in a bathhouse for example, all the powerful gay desires that I walked into the bathhouse with drained from my body. I lost all desire for the naked man in front of me, for his cock and his ass. But I still went through sucking his cock and getting sucked, and even doing it with multiple guys that night, each time wanting those gay desires to be there, those powerful homosexual desires that were so pleasurable at home, but to no avail. They just wouldn't come. But back at home the next day they all came rushing back to me, and I was back on the computer, jerking off to gay porn and having my powerful desires for everything homosexual, feeling 100% gay, wanting it at all with another man. And then back to the bathhouse or whatever, only to be disappointed in myself once again. This happened time after time after time, again and again, the same cycle. I had oral sex with hundreds of guys over a period of 21 years, and only with five of them had I ever kept the desire for their cock. But I never had any anal desires with real men.

Then I just happened to have found myself again in a bathhouse, in Berlin, on a trip to Germany, thousands of miles away from where I lived in Canada. Perhaps I needed that kind of distance to really let myself have actual gay feelings for a real man in front of me, and not just in my imagination at home. And that's exactly what happened. I entered that bathhouse like I always did, with powerful gay desires. I showered with a hard-on like I always have, and then headed to the very large L-shaped Jacuzzi. There were a couple guys in it at the far end of the L, doing something together that I couldn't quite figure out, and I settled into the other end of the L. The hot water felt so soothing and stimulating at the same time. I always love my nakedness, no matter where I am, and water is always an aphrodisiac for me, like on naturist beaches on the ocean and on lakes, including gay ones, and a naturist rock filled large stream. Another naked guy came into the tub and sat across from me. Another couple of guys settled into the bend of the L.

Like I always enjoy doing, I backed my ass up to one of the water jets, and let it pound against my asshole opening. I always love stimulating myself this way, pretending the strong jet of water is another man's cock fucking my ass. Even though I might be only semi hard soaking in the water, that water jet fuck always makes me super hard, and super horny. I'm sure the other guys near me noticed what I was doing, because I ended up really getting into it, and really "pounding" my asshole with this water jet, not just holding my ass still, but bouncing back-and-forth on that water jet like I was fucking a cock, with my eyes shut, and I'm sure my body trembling. When I opened my eyes, I was so overcome with gay lust, that I climbed out of the tub and headed through the glass door right beside it that opened to a huge glass walled steam room with multiple corridors and twists and turns. I left my towel hanging outside as I began just walking down the first corridor completely naked, with my cock harder than it's ever been.

I then saw this cuter than cute young guy ahead of me, a white towel wrapped around his waist. As I passed him, I brushed my hand along his toweled leg, and glanced back and smiled. I caught his eye, and he smiled back, with surprise that I had made such a move I guess. I turned around and went back towards him, as he approached me. He brushed his hand against my leg to check me out, and seeing no resistance bent down and engulfed my cock. And lo and behold, I had not yet lost any of my gay desires for him. His cocksucking skills were amazing. At some point I tugged on his towel, and it dislodged, and I pulled it off him and threw it to the side. He had this perfect, young, smooth, twink body, probably around 20 years old. His cock was really tiny, but as I reached to touch it, he twisted away, and continued deepthroating my 7.5 inch cock. He eventually stood up, or I pulled him up, I can't remember, and we caressed each other's bodies with our hands. I hugged him as I began running my hands down his back, onto his ass cheeks. They felt incredible in my hands--so smooth and soft, so tiny. It was then that I turned him around, and experienced great lust like I've never felt before, looking at his perfect ass cheeks. I gently caressed his back, running my hands softly down, and eventually softly caressing his cheeks, my left hand running across his left cheek, and my right running across his right cheek, from the top of the cheek down to the bottom, and then down his legs, all the way to his feet, and up again. From that moment on it was like I was hypnotized or something, in a completely uncontrolled gay lust-filled desirous state for his entire body. All the gay desires that I had ever had during the last 21 years became concentrated, like the sun point through a magnifying glass, on his ass, and eventually his asshole opening. After caressing his cheeks with the greatest admiration anyone has ever expressed, like I was worshipping them, I bent down and began caressing his cheeks with my lips, dropping like kisses ever so romantically across his ass. I held his hips in my hand as I began lightly dragging the tip of my tongue all over his cheeks. Eventually I focused on the crack between those beautiful mounds, kissing and then licking along that crack. I dropped to my knees and continued kissing and licking his cheeks and ass crack.

I then gently used my hands to spread those two cheeks apart, seeking the gay prize of all prizes, his beautiful male asshole opening. And there it was, right before me. The most beautiful asshole I've ever seen in my life from all the gay porn pictures and videos I have watched countless times, for thousands or tens of thousands of hours. When my very gay eyes landed on that asshole opening, I felt a desire that was hundreds of times greater than I've ever felt before. Maybe I'm exaggerating, but it definitely was, like, 50 times greater than any desire I've ever felt. I was utterly overcome with it. I then began kissing up and down his spread ass crack, and then licking up and down along it, eventually bringing my kisses closer and closer to his puckered opening. And then I did it: I finally placed my lips right on the centre of his asshole opening, and gently kissed it. I continued laying my kisses around and around it. And then I began using the tip of my tongue, dragging it along the perimeter, around and around. I ever so slowly brought it closer and closer, making my concentric circles tighter and tighter, closer and closer to the centre of his opening. And then my tongue was right in that centre opening, right on it, on the outside of it, and I wiggled my tongue, licking with the tiniest of movements, in that opening. I licked harder and harder on that opening. And then I began using more and more of my tongue around and around his entire asshole, rimming his hole, with ever increasing desire.

Every now and then I would push the tip of my tongue deeper and deeper into the opening, licking around and around inside that external sphincter, pushing my tongue deeper and deeper between those anal lips. Eventually I pushed my tongue as far as I could into his asshole, and wiggled the tip of my tongue as frantically as I could deep inside that outer sphincter, as far as I could get my tongue in. Now, I have inadvertently trained my tongue for rimming a guy's asshole all my life since childhood, loving to *always* lick a plate or bowl clean after finishing my meal. I just loved whatever juices were left, scooping up every last drop of it, and swallowing a lovely taste, until my plate or bowl was clean like it came out of the dishwasher. So my tongue had muscles! And boy did it ever come in handy at this moment: I was able to begin tonguefucking his hole like my tongue was a small penis. And I licked and tonguefucked his hole with a hunger I feel the world has never seen, and certainly one that I had never experienced. My desire was definitely off the charts, more than any metre could read. Maybe there was no taste at all, but I felt like it was the most delicious thing I had ever tasted, and I couldn't get enough of it. I wanted to push my entire face deep inside that ass, and I certainly did push my nose in, rubbed my face all around that saliva drenched asshole opening, lips, tongue, making love to this man's asshole.

A couple of times I would be kissing and licking down to his balls, and try to pass through to his cock, but he would have nothing of it. He just wanted his asshole played with, so I readily obliged. Once in a while he would pull away from me, and turned around to suck my cock--harder, more erect than I've ever felt my cock to have been. I was beyond aroused. But I would soon return and dive between his cheeks and bring my mouth to his asshole once again, licking and tonguefucking it for all I was worth. And then he rose once and backed his asshole over my bare cock, trying to push me inside of him, but I resisted, being afraid of STIs, including HIV. But it certainly didn't stop me from eating his ass like a starving man. But I felt penile penetration without a condom would be too risky. So I would just pull away and go back down to tonguefucking his hole.

Over the course of the next hour he tried this a few times more, trying to get my cock into his asshole. It was on one of these attempts that I finally recognized that a huge crowd of guys were around us, watching, stroking their cocks. We had attracted an audience. I don't know how long they were there, because I was so ultra focussed on his asshole I never knew anything else in the universe existed. Eventually I began using my index finger as well, tracing around and around his opening, and then finally into the centre, pushing inside of him, slowly going deeper and deeper. And then pulling out, and pushing back in, fingerfucking him. After more rimming I began to try with two fingers, fingerfucking him with such delight. I have to tell you a little bit about the insertion of my finger into this guy's asshole, into another man's asshole: it felt out of this world extraordinary. Shoving my tongue inside him was out of this world amazing already, but pushing my finger deep inside of him felt ever so more intimate, really sparking my ever growing gay desires for everything towards this guy. Somewhere in all of this he began screaming for me to fuck him, and the screams would come every once in a while, as I continued to tonguefuck and fingerfuck his hole with ferocity. When he made his final attempt to try to mount me, really struggling hard to get my cock into his ass through my struggles to prevent it, I eventually whispered to him I can't do it without a condom.

So in seemingly utter frustration, he jumped up, and ran to his bag. I don't know where his bag was--was it in the sauna or outside of it? But I followed him like a lap dog. He grabbed a condom from his bag and almost sprinted to this other area in the bathhouse that had a ton of beds all out in the open, all empty. I followed him onto one of these beds, and he rolled the condom down over my engorged cock. I was caressing his body all over in my utter gay lust, wanting to make love with this man like I've never wanted to with a woman ever before. He propped himself up into doggy position, and I once again dove down to tonguefuck his hole, this time leaving behind a massive amount of saliva. I don't remember him pulling out any tube of lube: I think we just used my saliva as lubrication, but I can't be 100% sure. But then it was finally time. I approached his spread ass cheeks with my covered cock, and brought it closer and closer to his hole. I rubbed and rubbed around and around using my cockhead and condom tip against his opening. The feeling was unimaginably incredible, just feeling my covered cockhead rubbing against another man's asshole opening (since then I have enjoyed rubbing my bare cockhead against a man's asshole, which has felt 20 times better). Here I was, a man, about to push my cock into another man's ass. I remember a small part of my mind actually thinking that, and excited beyond belief. And so I did it, I stopped the movements, placed the tip of my cock right into the centre of his asshole opening, and began to push, little by little, into his external sphincter, pushing apart his asshole lips. I pushed deeper into him, feeling more resistance with his internal sphincter. And then my cockhead was passed his ring, and moving deeper into his anal cavity, down his manhole canal, deeper and deeper into his ass.

And then I was all the way inside of him. My pushing went no further, and I could feel my pelvis tight against his ass cheeks. Yes, I was finally all the way inside of him. My cock was all the way deep inside of another man's ass, deep into his beautiful gay asshole. I can't even begin to come close to explaining with words what I felt. I was finally realizing my wonderful homosexuality, and I felt closer to this person, with just my cock deep inside of him, than I've ever felt with any man or woman before. And as I began to fuck him up and down, in and out, in and out, pulling my cock up until my cockhead was between his inner sphincter, and then back down again to the deepest recesses of his love canal, the feeling of closeness to him only increased. It was like a spiritual experience, with emotions that I cannot describe. This is what I've been waiting for all my life. This is what I was born to do. This was me. This was my truth. Fucking another man was who I was, and I've always been. I was finally actualizing the powerful gay side of myself, that I just kept repressing my entire life. But now my internalized homophobia shattered, and I finally felt free. It's the only way to describe that huge contradiction that I had been living for 21 years, with unbelievably powerful gay desires at home, and no desires for a real man when he was naked in front of me. It just did not make sense. But now everything made sense. Clearly, it had to be sexual intercourse with another man, thousands of miles away from home and everyone that I knew and would judge me, that had to happen for me to finally accept who I was.

Some of this was going through my mind while I was fucking him, but some of it came later as I analyzed what had just happened. But mostly I was just a fuck machine, pounding his ass for all I was worth, making love with another man. But then, all too soon, way too quickly, I felt myself getting close. I tried so hard to stop myself from cumming, because I wanted this to go on longer, indeed, much longer, because it was bliss like I've never felt before, pleasure beyond my dreams. But I couldn't stop it. The cum began to flow, and flow. I was experiencing the greatest orgasm of my life, and the longest one. But I continued fucking him throughout the orgasm, as the condom got more and more full. And then, near the end, I pushed deep and held my cock deep inside of him, as the remnants of my orgasm happened. But I kept wanting to fuck him, because I'm sure that he needed more. And so I continued to fuck him, but my cock slipped out of his asshole. But still wanting to give him more, I tried to push it back in, but it was so completely full of semen that it became impossible. That's when he noticed what I was trying to do, and asked me in a whisper whether I had cum already, and I answered yes. And then he said you can't push it back in. It's not possible. Clearly a man who spoke from experience.

Then he disappointed me, as he jumped up, hopped off the bed, and disappeared without another word. I wanted to tell him how sorry I was for cumming so quickly, and how this was my very first time fucking another guy, and how super over excited I was and came so fast. I don't know how fast. I was probably fucking him only for a few minutes. It's hard to say because I was in such an altered state of consciousness. I didn't even know his name. All I know is that his English was very good, and I knew a little bit of German, and he had the cutest twink body I've ever seen, the most beautiful ass I've ever seen, the most perfect asshole I've ever seen, and the guy I could finally give my gay virginity to. I was so grateful for everything that he gave me, but just wished I could've thanked him. But he was clearly looking for another fuck, looking for another cock to pound his ass and give him the satisfaction he so desperately craved, with no more foreplay, as he probably had enough of it, but just needed a man to fuck him long and hard and breed his ass with his cum seed essence.

So I laid there on the bed, catching my breath, the condom still tightly on my still very hard cock, engorged with my cum, thinking about what had just happened. It was surreal. I couldn't believe what had just happened. Finally all my wishes came true, all my fantasies about fucking another guy, had just happened for real. As I laid there and in my thoughts over the next few days, I felt this gay side of myself so strongly, accepting it so completely, being so happy about finally uncovering it. Whereas I identified as bi-confused during those 21 years beforehand, I could now completely acknowledge that I was indeed bisexual! I felt so happy about my bisexuality, and actually felt proud of it, so very proud of it. I wanted to scream about it from the rooftops. World, I am bisexual! There's no doubt about it, I am very bisexual. But it still took another 6 years, and one more crazy girlfriend, and finally, having no desire left to ever have sex, let alone romance, with a woman again, to finally acknowledge and accept that I'm not actually bisexual at all, but I am gay, and have been gay since birth. I've just been fighting that, denying that, letting my internalized homophobia dominate me. It now makes sense why my reaction to the sex that I had with this man in Berlin was so powerful, and perhaps even exaggerated the pleasure he gave me. It wasn't about unveiling my bisexuality. It was about my getting a taste of my actual homosexuality.

Now at 63, I have identified as a gay man for a number of years now, have lived a closeted gay life, only out to a few close friends, hanging out socially with many gay friends, enjoying sex with men, even having developed romantic crushes on a couple different guys in the last couple of years, and open to even falling in love with another man, which I now realize that I'm quite capable of because of those crushes. Whereas nothing ever worked with women for me, perhaps I can finally have a loving long-term relationship with someone that works, with another man, who is the gender for me, the gender that I was built for, that my gay DNA was wired for, to have a boyfriend, and be in love with each other, and have beautiful gay sex together, perhaps even every day. God, am I ever crazy about making love with men, having my cock deeply buried inside another man's ass, and one day I hope, having another man's cock deeply buried inside my ass, taking my bottom virginity, breeding my gay ass with his cum seed essence, merging his gay DNA with my own, so that I can live as a gay, versatile man, joyfully fucking men and having them fuck me.