Hey all, how many guys have become more than just hookup buds or random hookups with other guys? I would love to have a guy friend that's both sfw and NSFW for lack of better terms. Like someone I click with. Is that a common occurrence or with guys (especially married guys) is it all sexual and short term?
for me, when I initially explored my bi-curiousities, it was more about the hookups. like, i'd get together to "watch the football game", but then leave right after we got it on. Now, I often stay after to watch the rest of the football game!!
That's a plus, to have a constant FB or FWB. One you can chill, explore and get it on, and get back to chillin. I always see myself as having a bro to chill with, we can be in the game or watching tv, then when the mood hits us, help each other get off. When done, we continue chillin or go hang out somewhere else.
Well, I have been fortunate to have had a few FWB, bromance, romance, and one dom sub, relationships that initiated as a probable blow and go or one night stand and blossomed into a longer term relationship. I definitely prefer a mental as well as a physical connection. Ideally now, I would love a running/workout FWB relationship, but finding that person and maintaining it under my current circumstances would be difficult.
I have had a friend with benefits that I saw for a few years. We rode bikes, met for coffee and also met with the intent of having sex.
Sexual? Yes, usually and the sex is what can set and seal a bond that is more than sex. Short term? It could be - that depends on some stuff that you cannot really foresee, which is why you remain in the moment and cherish every single moment to the best of your ability because you cannot know when this might end.
I would love a bromance with a regular FB or FWB, or multiple such guys. But the vast majority of bisexual and gay guys I've been with are only interested in sex. There was only one guy whom I actually dated for a while, liked very much, and if it was today I could even see myself falling in love with him and becoming boyfriends or husbands. But 15 years ago I wasn't yet in a place in my struggle with my sexuality to allow myself to develop romantic feelings for him. We stopped seeing each other when we both realized he was looking for a husband, and was falling for me, when I wasn't falling for him back. And this past summer I had sex with a couple friends of mine, a gay married couple. I love these guys as friends a lot, though I'm hesitant to continue having sex with them in a threesome or one on one because of their married status, even though they're in an open relationship. I'm really looking for one (or more) single guys to have bromances, or even romances, with. Because I have now fully accepted the mostly gay side of myself, and have the intention of only having sex with other men for the rest of my life, I definitely want to get into the bromance part of homosexuality. I'm way past the cock only phase, and even want something more than just a fully entire-body & anal sexual relationship with men. I want the friendship feelings, liking each other, enjoying spending time with each other, hanging out, doing friendship things together, and making love, more than just having sex. It doesn't have to be in-love romance (though if I'm honest with myself, I'm definitely open to that as well), but rather just enjoying being men who love other men together, but above the carnal level. I realized this the first time I pushed my cock into another man's ass and lost my gay virginity in 2013 at 51: the connectedness I felt with this man was like nothing I'd ever felt before, with a man or a woman (it was almost spiritual), and I realized there is something beyond just the sex act that is my need, and my truth. At the very least I would love to have regular gay fuck buddies where we also really like each other (though we might not have a friendship outside the bedroom). It takes so much effort to keep trying to hook up with guys using gay hookup sites and apps. But ideally I want gay friends with benefits, to do lots of friendship things together, and also fuck like rabbits as often as we can. And I really want gay men (not bisexual), Kinsey 5 or 6, because of the commonality factor with me, and how in my experience most bisexual men are not into everything about a man (though I'm sure there are exceptions, I just haven't met them).
Bromances... kinda just happen and as far as I understand them. You meet "Gary" and the two of you hit it off immediately and have so much in common with each other that (a) you spend a lot of time together and (b) enough that those who know you (or even sees you in public) assume that the two of you are also having sex even if, in truth, that's not happening - but it could. Then there's meeting "Gary" and he's okay to hang out with and, slowly but surely, the two of you find out what you have in common and all that good stuff and you're friends and, hopefully, with a friendship bond that's going to get pretty deep and maybe to the point where if he ever says to you, "Aw, man, suck my dick!" you'll say, "Can I really suck your dick?" and... maybe you two are blowing each other because you've had time to get to know each other well and, importantly, you trust each other implicitly. Does this mean that you're going to be in a romantic situation with each other? I wouldn't say that but I know what can happen when you keep having sex with each other and feelings go from lust to more than that but even still, that may not trigger the beginning of a romantic situation. Cultivating a fuck buddy isn't quite the same as a bromance situation. It's not like guys aren't interested in friendship but, yeah, they are interested in the sex and, really, what do you expect and more so when I know that you know how guys feel about being romantic with another guy. Fuck buddy? Sure! Being your de facto boyfriend? Um, whew, uh, can we talk about this? So, what are you really looking for? Fuck buddies you can do other stuff with or a boyfriend that you can love and cherish and he feels the same way about you?
There's a third "Gary" who I would like to meet I think. We meet through a gay hookup site or app, and get together in one of our homes for sex. We like each other in that encounter, and enjoy the sex, so we continue meeting up for sex, liking each other more and more, until a friendship develops, and we start doing friendship things outside the bedroom as well. "Hey, do you want to go for a hike tomorrow and then afterwards come back here to fuck each other silly?" Or "Let's go on a weekend camping trip and have great sex in the outdoors, in and out of our tent. We can even rent a canoe, since both of us love paddling and spending time in the outdoors." Sure, I guess you could say that we are fuck buddies who do other things, or we can call each other friends with benefits.... Hmm, thinking about it for a second I see the latter almost assumes we started as friends, or are more friends than lovers. I kind of want them both at the same time. How about we call this Gary my Fuck Friend. And if we migrate from being fuckfriends to boyfriends, then that is fine too. But I want at least the bromantic friendship there in this amazing sexual relationship we have. I think that's what @Northeast NE is looking for.
Sure, there's that third "Gary" who you "met" online then got together for sex and, whew, did you ever make it really damned good for him - and enough to warrant coming back for more. Now, depending on how long y'all are having sex - and you keep blowing his mind - it could morph into something with more... intimacy in other areas and where being naked isn't required... but neither of you are going to turn down any chance to get naked with each other. I happen to know that having sex in a canoe is... interesting; just don't rock the boat too much and I'd hope you can swim. Just wanted to let you know that. Anyway, I think this gets... complicated when you start to put romance at the head of things and in a world where so many bisexual men are all about the sex and as a first and foremost kind of thing. I wouldn't object to bedding you and I wouldn't object if we became a sexual item but if you were to tell me that you love, well, we're gonna have a nice talk about that and if I should feel the same way about you, um, what do you wanna do about it and more so when I may or may not want to do more than what we're already doing? How would you feel about that?
