Happy Thanksgiving

I have made rice stuffing, with mushrooms (no-psychedelic) a long time ago... but lost the recipe.

 

Perhaps roasted grandchild! (Not in the oven, just jokes about the kid...)

 

So who has a great recipe for a roasted turkey?

I will start refrigerator defrosting the 14 pounder on Sunday... to be ready by Thursday for the oven.

To brine, dry brine or not is the question so far!

Still have not decided on stuffing... but wish there were chestnuts about. Mom used to stuff them with chestnuts back in New York in the 50s... but I haven't seen them since then.

In New York City every winter there would be chestnut roasters with carts on the streets back then, it was a great treat for a kid.

 

My job this year is to make an apple pie for dessert.

That's the only kind of pie I know how to make because we always seem to have apples laying around the house.
We do have black raspberry, strawberry, and blueberry bushes but the grandchildren always eat up all the fruit so no pies from that stuff.
We also have four apple trees but the deer get the low hanging fruit every year and somebody climbs up the trees and eats all the other apples.
I suspect a groundhog as every time I see him he runs away and hides.
Never the less we always seem to have apples in the refrigerator.

Anyway I was going to make the apple pie today but we had turkey pot pie yesterday because my wife discovered some frozen turkey in the freezer, probably from last year, and she wanted to use it up before we get new turkey left overs.
Which is fine except we only have one pie pan. It's a glass pyrex dish (not PYREX, that's different; look it up) and it still has left over pot pie in it.

So my wife said, "Why not use the square glass pyrex dish for the pie?" And I said, "You can't make a square pie!" (I think there's something in the Constitution that forbids it.)
Image some foreigner arriving for Thanksgiving diner expecting an all American apple pie and out comes a square pie! I could be arrested or shunned or something.

But, she said, I could make it Thanksgivingly looking if I put some words on top like, "Happy Thanksgiving."
"That's a stupid idea", I said, "Who ever heard of a pie with words on top? That would make it a cake."

But she persisted.
"Well then carve a pumpkin in the crust......"
So here I come on thanksgiving day with my pie in hand and set it down on the table.

A square apple pie with a pumpkin carved on top.
People would say, "What the f-ck is that? A square pumpkin pie?"
And I would say, "It's an apple pie."
And they would say, "Why does it have a pumpkin carved in the crust? That's stupid."
Then I'd have to go into an Alice's Restaurant type of story about my wife, pot pies, glass pyrex pans, apples, pumpkins, and my grandchildren.

I said, "No." "Pies are round, not square."
But, she said, "Pi's R Square."

"No", I said, "Pi's R Square only refers to pies that are round." (As per Einstein, I think.)
But she said, "Pi's R Square because they're round."

I quickly saw that this was developing into something like Zeno's Dichotomy paradox in which we could never arrive at the goal of making an apple pie until we had eaten the last of the turkey pot pie.

So that's what we're having tonight.
Tomorrow I'll make a round pie.