Masturbation secret...

As I am in my 70's, I grew up in an era when masturbation was taboo so it was always in a secret and guilty pastime. Whilst I know it is normal and healthy I would not be comfortable discussing it with others except in the anonymity of the internet or with my doctor. My wife and I were always very open about it. Now that time has taken her libido while mine remains strong she knows I masturbate 2-3 times a week and encourages me to do so. The only caveat is that I do so when she is not at home and that no porn is involved.

 

Do you consider it a good thing that her, porn or both aren't involved?? I spoken to other men that say their wives have lost interest in sex, but they still like to watch.

 

My current and one of my past girlfriends, as well as most of my male lovers, have been interested in watching me masturbate. I also watched some of them and had numerous mutual masturbation sessions.

So, I abandoned shame about that early in my adult life. You can learn so much about what stimulates a lover by watching them masturbate to a full climax.

One time, an older woman who i had just met asked me what I was going to do after getting up to leave an evening campfire gathering. She was a bit tipsy and so was I. I told her I was going to return to my camping trailer and masturbate before I fell asleep. She said, "Believe it or not, I've never seen a man do that. Can I watch?"

I said "Sure", so she followed me to my trailer where I took off my clothes and masturbated laying on the bed while she stood just inside the door and watched. I came so fast that time, with semen shooting out on my torso. I wiped it off with a tissue, and she said, "Thanks for letting me watch. That was fun. Good night!"

I saw her as I was leaving the campground the next morning. She smiled sweetly and waved.

 

I have been secretive about masturbating because it is just such a personal thing and I have not been able to imagine a scenario in which I could be more open about it.
Until recently that is.
Now, after reading these posts on this forum, I want to share the experience with someone.
I want to jerk off while chatting with someone. I want to jerk off with someone over a video chat.
I want to have someone watch me jerk off.
I want to explore what my masturbating can turn into and those thoughts are such a big turn on to me that as I type this, I am stroking my cock and getting hornier the longer I type....
I am going to go see what I can do to take care of my boner.

 

No

 

I always do in secretly when I'm home since the wife hates all things having to do with sex now. But when I'm with my FWB's, it's quite open and we watch / help each other.

 

I no longer keep my masturbation a secret but it’s not like I tell my wife every time I do it. She knows and I will leave clues to keep her engaged to what’s going on. How she want to use those clues are up to her.

 

I was terribly repressed about discussing it with any of my friends. They all talked about it, men and women. But I had a hang up because I was over weight that people would be grossed out to hear about that kind of thing from me. And the more I tried to choke back the desire to be able to do it, the more nagging the need became.

I wasn't wrong either. I will never forget the first time I ever tried to jokingly talk about masturbating with a friend. I'd decided I needed to just go for it and see if my fear proved true. So during art class in my senior year of HS, I told my friend a funny story from the day before about being annoyed about a bunch of our friends asking me to drive them all home from school because I wanted to get home so I could masturbate in the shower and my friend (BTW, this was one of my two best male friends at that time) wrinkled up his face all weird like he was grossed out. I felt terrible. But also saw what was potentially my one and only opportunity to finally challenge whether people's prejudice about weight was in fact a barrier keeping me from yet another thing that was perfectly acceptable from thinner people.

So, I choked back any inclination of fear and asked my friend outright, "Why'd you make that face? You talk about masturbating constantly. All the time and you say way more detailed stuff than what I said." He paused and scrunched up his face again. But this time it the scrunched face was more like a "Huh? Yeah, why am I being weird?" Kinda thing. And he said straight up, "Yeah... I don't know..." I will give him the credit of being honest enough with himself to acknowledge the double standard and that, although he did not say it explicitly, very much copped to the fact that he instinctively felt uncomfortable hearing me mention masturbating and putting that image in his head. But stopping far short of any meaningful honesty and introspection that would require him to admit it was out of bias against me for being overweight, and instead just repeated one or two more times that he had no idea why he reacted so weirdly to what I'd said and apologized and again was like, "Yeah, I dunno... You're right. Why did I do that?"

After that, I'd proved I was arbitrarily and prejudicially precluded from any and all masturbation conversations. Because of that, I spoke very openly about it with my mother a lot. And I love her for it. It's one of the best things she's ever done as a parent. But the fact I couldn't do it with friends remained a very depressing and severe sore spot for me. So much that even after I lost more than half my weight by my second year of college and became an incredibly rail thin person, I still carried that sense it was fine for other people to talk and joke about but if I ever tried to open my mouth, it would just suck all the air out of the room.

Wasn't until my senior year of college, my best female friend and I became absolutely tied to the hip. It was about as intimate a friendship could get while still being platonic. We were nude together and slept in the same bed together, yadda yadda yadda. And she started talking to me about masturbation. The first time, I didn't say anything about myself. Just a lot of "Oh yeah." Or "Uh huh. Totally." But the second time she was talking about tasting her own cum after she masturbates and asked if I did the same. Since it was a direct question to me and me alone, I finally felt the permission I'd been waiting seven years for and told her no, and that I always want to do it but once I actually cum and it's pooled there in my hand I can't bring myself to do it. And it was a funny little silly convo between two young friends. It made me feel OK.

However, as much I started to come out of my shell and test friends with little comments here and there to gauge their reactions and if it seemed OK to talk about I would. I still carried that weird feeling around with me for a long time. It wasn't until about five years ago, I finally shook off any remaining vestiges of those shackles and now... Well, I'll put this way. A friend came over to my apartment today and my vibrators were lying on the floor by my bed in plain view and I didn't mention them and made no effort to put them away or hide them.