Rapture Coming Tomorrow September 23, Donate Today!

Discussion in 'Christianity' started by Toker, Sep 8, 2025.

  1. Whirlwind83

    Whirlwind83 Members

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    In the heavenly tesla taxi! Hahaha!
     
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  2. Toker

    Toker Lifetime Supporter

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  3. wooleeheron

    wooleeheron Brain Damaged Lifetime Supporter

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    If anyone would like a crazy hippie's blessing, send me a private message.
     
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  4. scratcho

    scratcho Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Check's in the mail.
     
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  5. Native Vee

    Native Vee Supporters HipForums Supporter

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  6. Piobaire

    Piobaire Village Idiot

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    GODDAMNIT! I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO A FREE ABANDONED CAR!
     
  7. ~Zen~

    ~Zen~ California Tripper Administrator

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    Not to mention all those mini-mansions suddenly empty! It would have been great to be set free from the religious right and their thoughts of world domination. But NOOOO... seems we can't believe every African nutjob who obviously was using this idea to raise money for his new Mercedes and mini (or macro) mansion.

    Better luck next time!
     
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  8. 6Sailor9

    6Sailor9 Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Maybe tomorrow? Heard this was the 23rd or 24th…:/)
     
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  9. fem_fatale

    fem_fatale Members

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    How long do I have to stand here naked in my yard?
     
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  10. Ybcican

    Ybcican Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Absolutely the best line I’ve heard all day! :p
     
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  11. MeAgain

    MeAgain Dazed & Confused Lifetime Supporter Super Moderator

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  12. 6Sailor9

    6Sailor9 Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Longer than two days!! lol!
     
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  13. Toker

    Toker Lifetime Supporter

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    LMAO!!!
    That's great! Overweight Americans causing delays! Jesus wasn't expecting to have to lift more than 200 pounds. Anyone more obese than that has been sinning big time!!!
     
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  14. Toker

    Toker Lifetime Supporter

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    See we make fun of Christians cause they're so gullible, easy marks for even the amateur con artist.

    Their religion blinds them to reality, which let's anyone bullshit them so long as they mention God and Jesus in the sales pitch.

    Hey, I had a vision of all good Christians donating millions to the Hipforums Forums so we can compete with reddit and X.

    God said y'all gotta make the donation before midnight tomorrow or Jesus gonna leave you to play the Great Tribulation game all by yourselves!

    Whatcha gonna do when Jesus don't come for you?
     
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2025 at 4:15 PM
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  15. Toker

    Toker Lifetime Supporter

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    Lotta people praying to Jesus today...lol!

    Sorry, Charlie. Jesus got sent to a prison in El Salvador! and you know what El Salvador means, right?

    Yup, the orange anti-Christ has locked up the Christ. So nobody coming to rescue you from the consequences of your actions on Earth. Face the music!

    Lied to again by the big bully you really worship who has been doing Satan's work with your unending support.
     
  16. Tishomingo

    Tishomingo Members

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    I'm a "Xian", and I must have missed it. Dang!. "Xians" come in many shapes and sizes. Might I point out that the "rapture" is a belief of Evangelical Christians. Catholics, Eastern Orthodox, and "Progressive" Christians roll our eyeballs. Evangelicals make up around 8% of the world's total of Christians, although from the attention they get, you might easily think it was the other way around. The latest "prophecy" is the result of a "vision" by South African preacher Joshua Mhakela, now world famous, and spread around the world by TikTok, which is not under Christian ownership. As usual, many gullible folks sold their property, quit their jobs and pulled their kids out of school. I'm sure those who were raptured have gone to the Great Gathering in the Sky, to partake in the bounties of the Heavenly Dumpster--side by side, arm-in-arm-- with derelicts, drunks, drug addicts, prostitutes, LGBTs, and toothless, bathless dilapidated hebephrenics--just like Jesus did when He was on Earth. It will be Heaven, but some may think they've taken a wrong turn.
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2025 at 8:42 AM
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  17. Piobaire

    Piobaire Village Idiot

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  18. newo

    newo Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    And once again it didn't happen. I checked the news and it says nothing about anyone vanishing. If you can't count on Christian Fundamentalist speculation what can you count on?
     
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  19. ~Zen~

    ~Zen~ California Tripper Administrator

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    As long as you want to!
     
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  20. ~Zen~

    ~Zen~ California Tripper Administrator

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