Stockpiled comebacks (retorts) that are often so useful

I like the way I gather more of these as I get older. It could be something as simple as "that's not true" or "I disagree" that can be the thing that feels like a great comeback in the moment. I've realised that I've used these quite a bit lately. The other day somebody who thinks he's higher status than me disagreed with me on something and told me why I was wrong. Before I'd have felt like there's no point in responding unless I could give a somewhat detailed response there and then. But if you know they're wrong you're entitled to say "I disagree" and there's nothing they can say back. He looked at me like I was being difficult for saying that, but fuck him.

Here's a few more. Feel free to post yours!

I can't do everything at once
don't be nosy
when's that ever stopped you?
there's always some excuse
wouldn't you rather it be a surprise?
that's beside the point
know your limit
I'll be the judge of that
well you can't have everything
all you do is complain
you asked
spit it out
let me take a wild guess...
you're making me nervous
no comment
you just look after yourself
you're too quick to take sides
stop it
don't!
you're abusing your position
it's only a rumour
don't believe everything you hear
who told you that?
I'll take my chances
no surprise there
did I touch a nerve?
where's the fun in that?
you are joking?
funny at who's expense?
don't bring me into it
worth it
be nice
you’ll have to respect my decision
don't be a bully

 

This one's gonna hurt.

 

I'm not your babysitter

 

What's that got to do with anything?

 

There's no cure for stupidity, but nobody ever lost money trying.

 

Exactly. Post deleted, member warned about off-topic repetitive posts.

 

“ what’s it to you?” Or “ Why do you care?” are two that I find myself using far too often lately.

 

I prefer SHUT THE FUCK UP!! Not calculated to engender more comments, though. Don't care .

 

Yeah. That reminds me of another... "that's for me to know and you to find out"

 

That poster is a lifetime supporter! I guess they won't be getting a warning!

 

Why the anger?
I'm not your babysitter

And I like this one too, although I haven't had the chance to use it yet!

Do you have any control over how creepy you allow yourself to get?

 

you seem to have a hard time following me

that's easy for u to say not being on the receiving end