What's amused you today? XD

There once was a man with no plan
Who assured us through his fake tan
"Oh, just you wait
Things will be great;
Just like the casinos I ran!"

 

Their all going to get kneesuls from marching like that . . . and osteoarthritis.

 

Seeing the 5th grade teacher back in school I had at work, worked on her car doing rear brake replacement. I told her she would remember me and said she did. Still remembers me walking in her class with my Marines uniform on in 1999. Said she still has that picture somewhere. I remembered her husband too, said he is still doing good. Remembered me as the stubborn redhead in class, it was towards my classmate Pete whom always had a crush on me. Told her I gave him a lesson in 2004 making him shut up finally and she figured it was like Sergeant Hartman in Full Metal Jacket like this scene keeping my hands off of him, "Who the f*ck said that?!" #fullmetaljacket #film #movies #realfilm

 

Daughter's boyfriend is gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My husband and I are happy. She had enough of his crap telling him to get his stuff out and heard what he said about me. Warned him before he said it that I would turn into Sergeant Hartman and he said yeah right. He was wrong and learned he does not mess with a Marine. Were together for 7 months and all he did was freeload not working and not lifting a finger living with us for 2 months

 

Trump dies and goes to Hell.
Devil says you definitely belong, but we're full, so somebody will have to leave.
Tell you what; you can choose who you replace.
Choose from Door #1, Door #2, or Door #3.
Trump looks inside Door #1; Barack Obama is diving into a pool, repeatedly; over and over again.
Trump says he can't swim.
Door #2; George Bush is breaking rocks with a hammer; as one breaks, another appears.
Trump says he injured his shoulder playing golf.
Door #3; Bill Clinton is tied naked to a bed, with Monica Lewinsky doing what she's famous for.
Trump's delighted, says he can certainly do this for eternity, and chooses Door #3.
Devil leans in the door and says, "Monica, you're free to go."

 

A tabby cat saying hello than coming to my "rescue" when another cat swore at me.

 

Found out daughter is still doing good and loves her job she started yesterday. Towed two away due to being parked in the wrong spot. Said she had problems with one arguing with her she pointed at the sign above saying no parking. Did get it towed to the yard. Another one was an accident scene, a lady in a Toyota pickup was not paying attention right into a tree. A couple involved with the cops, the drivers were arrested for arrest warrants also stopped for a traffic violations and she was called out to tow them away. Found out we are going to be co workers too, my boss is going to be part owner of that towing yard she works at

 

Drinking a beer, I see on the side of the can; "Best Drunk in August 2025."
I'd like to thank the brewing industry for this prestigious award.

 

Crap, you just reminded that I bought a pineapple flavored beer yesterday and planned on drinking it tonight but forgot all about it. Thanks for the reminder, gonna go get it now.

 

Talking visiting Parris Island, SC in January of next year. Went there for Marines boot and always wanted to revisit there, a friend of mine from North Carolina I was in boot camp with is coming with me. Staying at her place

 

Watched Collector's Call on MeTV tonight and saw a Master's of the Universe collector with all his He-Man toys. Caught a glimpse of some dinosaur He-Man toys!

 

This article treats a homeless, former model like she's still a fashion plate...

"Loni Willison was spotted once again on the streets of Los Angeles, hauling her belongings and digging through a dumpster.

In photos captured by an outlet, the former model, who has been homeless for years, kept her look casual in a backward cap, a sleeveless beige top and brown leggings with worn Converse sneakers.

She tied a denim shirt around her waist while juggling multiple bags, including a rolling suitcase."

Loni Willison was seen digging through a dumpster in Los Angeles.MEGA

They also highlighted the fact that she was wearing a rolex watch while dumpster diving...

Welcome to the new Homeless Chic.

 

It was last night but still makes me laugh. I was in the main living room reading and my husband was elsewhere in the apartment. He must have decided to go to bed. Came in, switched the light off and left me sitting in the dark, book open and fucking gobsmacked. We both saw the funny side of it thankfully.

 

Just at how busy I can keep myself when I am at home. I feel sad sometimes that I don't live with someone anymore, but the freedom I felt today outweighed that. Just really thankful and amused today.

 

Its the little things for me.today i talked to a homeless person near the walmart and asked if he would be down to help clean up my old shed in exchange for $200 and some dinner. he looked at me and flipped me off and said his cardboard sign says handouts not odd jobs.people these days -_-

 

Watching a couple of whitetail bucks browsing through my weeds.
Seeing a bald eagle fishing over the lake.

 

The movie Supernova starring Angela Bassett and James Spader.

Just orgasms and sex objects in space, lol.

 

English pig: "oink".
French pig: "oinque".
Japanese pig: "oinku".
American pig: "STOP RESISTING!"

 

I told my wife that she should embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.