Age Differences

Personally I find it limiting to try to relate on an intimate relationship level to a partner with whom I have to try to explain who Captain Kangaroo is.

 

Who is captain kangroo? ;D

 

You have to be selective if you want to have a relationship. If it is just sex, I don't care if we connect emotionally and don't need to teach her who Farmer Green Jeans or Mr. Moose was. However, it it is someone with whom I want to connect, she's usually an old soul, totally down to earth and likes old fashioned fun (outdoors stuff). It's pretty easy once you figure out what you have in common. If you don't have stuff in common, move on. With the two women I am currently seeing it doesn't seem like there is a large age gap with either. Voracious readers can be a good find.

 

Hey, Walleye - if you know Mr. Green Jeans and Mr. Moose, you're telling your age!

 

That is why I dropped those names.

 

I told my age, too - I know them, too.

 

I just turned 60. I own it. I'm in good shape for 60. I've climbed 10 mountains in the past 10 weeks (15,000+ in elevation gain). I can't say that I enjoy it but it keeps my mental and physical health in check.

 

Belated happy birthday!

 

I have no clue..... )

 

My wife is 23 years younger than me.... Folk used to think she was my daughter! We've been married 30+ years..... She's given up on sex in her 50's, I'm 80 and still at it, when I get the chance! )

 

My latest gf is 19 years younger than me. Stay tuned to see long it works out…

 

You can make it last if ya wanna

 

I believe age is just one of many factors

 

So, one of the women I am seeing in 29 years my junior. She's 31 to my 60. She's an old soul and we connect on many fronts. Age has very little to do with it.

 

That is wonderful and I am happy for you.

 

I always think the half plus seven rule is a good general guide. Then again, half my age plus seven is actually younger than I’d be interested in. Also I’ve known a couple with a greater age gap, and they worked out just fine.. so I guess if people work well together, that’s all that counts, really..

 

It can be difficult because different generations can have wildly different outlooks on life and relationships. Especially if someone grew up pre-social media and cell phones and the other grew up with those things as a standard amenity. But the actual ages the people are can overcome that sometimes.

The largest age gap I've had was dating two separate women who were 11 years younger than me. The first time, the difference felt like a chasm. I was in my mid-late 30s and she was in her mid 20s. It could have been a really good relationship and lasted a while. But there were deep seated discrepancies in how we saw things and how we engaged with each other. She was a lot more reactive than I was, in that very amped up 20-something way of being extremely moral and having the courage of one's convictions.

She liked to argue and debate my opinions, which to her was a perfectly rational and innocuous way to get to know each other and exchange ideas. But to me it felt like "poking the bear." Testing me on my politics and character, and the ways I interpreted things or what I thought about this or that, no matter how immaterial.

Whereas I was settled in a career, not just a job but a career. I had responsibilities left, right and center. So, I didn't like fighting or arguing. My whole MO was just make it through each day with as little stress as possible because life is so stressful to begin with. However, if there was a serious problem or someone was fucking with me, I'd stick up for myself. Never fought anyone physically. But if someone yells at me for no good reason and backs me into a corner, yeah, I'll tell 'em where to shove it, because fuck them. Ironically, as combative as she was with me all the fucking time, she HATED when I'd argue with other people or curse them out or make some cutting remark.

She wasn't a bad person. It wasn't gaslighting or head games. She was just at that age where you tend to be really feisty, whereas I was at the age where you start getting really tired and beat down by everything. She also constantly tried to have couples spats via text message, which I BEGGED her not to do on multiple occasions and instead wait until I or she got home so we could talk about whatever it was face to face. But to her, that was "not listening to her" or trying to shut down the argument.

All that said, that woman and I had THEEEE BEST sexual computability I've ever had with a partner. Fuck it, that was the best sex I've ever had with anyone. I honestly question whether I'll ever have better sex than I had with her. It was somehow magnetic and explosive at the same time.

Compare that to the second time I dated someone born the exact same year, but by then I was 41 and she was 30 and none of that was an issue. Because at 30, you start to get a better handle on whether or not a particular hill is worth dying on. Not that things worked out perfectly with that woman in the end either. But I wouldn't say any of our differences had to do with our age difference. Meanwhile, any of the various reasons me and the first woman broke up can all be reduced down to the age difference.

And when I've dated women who are a few years older than me, our experiences growing up may vary in some ways and we might remember big events differently or have leaned into different subcultures or trends for different reasons. Nevertheless, at the end of the day, the fact that we were both well into adulthood before we had a cellphone or social media means we "speak the same language," if you know what I mean?