I may be in the early stages of bi-curiosity!

Hello all,

30yo male here. I'm in a serious relationship, but recently I've ran across a specific 'kink' that I cannot get out of my mind, and only the m/m version of this 'kink' gets me 'excited'. Anyway, I am really uncomfortable discussing it with my significant other and am just looking for a place I can explore these thoughts to see if there is any more to it and I ran across this forum. Seems like an open place, I am open to any help at all figuring this out! Rather that be a private messages or pointing me to a helpful forum!

Thanks everyone!

 

Welcome from a Bi male.You're welcome to PM me any time you'd like.

 

Hello! I dont THINK I can PM on here yet? Might be too new, I may just take you up on that when I'm able to though!

 

Well, what you ought to know is "THE CLOSET", is bs.

The proverbial "closet" is a made-up tool. To come out of your shell. To metamorphosis and transformation can help us transcend! We actualize as adults this way. But it's also false.

Emotional honesty is to interact with your emotions without interference. To what end?

What I would have you know is that even though it is popular and seems to be well-established, "the closet" is a fallacy of the worst kind.

What are your choices?

With a "the closet" scenario, you are a chicken if you stay inside! Or a worse, denigrating obscenity.

What are your choices?

Well, I can remain "in the closet" and if I do I am qualified as (at the very least) fearful.

Or I can "come out".

The emotional benefits are undeniable. Does it feel rewarding. Yes. But I think it's out of context.

Your parents (who, if you're an ex-addict like me might be in the habit of telling you "no") didn't teach you that.

For that reason by itself it isn't exactly the more honorable choice to establish "sexual orientation" as the foremost aspect of your personality.

The closet IS a social construct. Critical race theory will tell you the others (race, ethnicity, gender, etc. and the big one... marriage!).

When someone is manipulating you with your "closet" interpretation, they are threatening you with a choice: "Afraid or Unafraid".

Like getting in a fight, whether you win or lose, you might end up with a black eye. Or dead.

You don't have to "come out" to be unafraid.

You don't have to "come out" to be proud.

Just do a couple pushups and let that be the definitive aspect of your personality.

Obedience is boring. Submission is offensive. I'm not without merit and I'm totally capable of honesty.

All of those might prompt you to be "unafraid" and to "come out".

What I'm not telling you is that there isn't anything wrong with being afraid of that.

What I'm not telling you is that you aren't the only one who wonders if 'better emotional fluency' translates to 'happier living' or quality of life.

Relationship dynamics that follow also are just as stupid.

Sexual orientation... well, not only do you have higher priorities but its also not a definitive aspect of your character.

If I look at it on a page in a book, it reads a little more like adventure (at best) and spontaneity, lust, promiscuity, and all that.

What's wrong with that?

Well, technically it isn't obedient. It isn't intuitive. It doesn't show emotional responsibility to those who paid your way all those years.

And while it might impress your friends or even family that you are fearless and smart in your approach to life, it isn't totally accepted.

You might find it easier at work or more generally in school or socially or with spirituality to make any of these the higher priority, or even if you can't to have 'not changing' be part of the mentality, or to try to see this in the context of 'change' and to address it slowly and deliberately with more practicality and far less spontaneity; after all, it may be immoral or a sin (also social constructs?).

If you aren't getting along with your family (unfortunately sometimes that is not going to change) that might be the main reason all the social priorities in the world aren't incentive.

Does that make sexuality or orientation a good option for you?

I don't think it does.

And I don't want anyone to be depressed or feel poorly understood.

I don't want to be boring vanilla ice cream any more than the next man or woman. But I like vanilla ice cream.

And I prioritized that. And I'm in a better state of mind for that.

I can accept myself as a relatable adult and be proud of that and know too that it isn't exciting or fascinating that I'm not of an alternative identity or orientation.

Look out for the closet! Being considered "afraid" or "weak" can be a huge manipulator! That is called forcing someone out of the closet. It's mean. And it's a false metaphor because afraid or brave, you don't have to change.

 

Welcome!!!!!!

 

Matt@work?
I sure hope you’re not at work Matt.
Just read a post here about AI employee monitoring.

About your curiosity, 30 years old and in the early stages of being bi-curious? Seems kinda old to me to start having thoughts about a bi kink. But hey I’m willing to bet most guys at least think about what it must be like to mess around with another guy at some point in their life even if they never do. I grew up before computers and internet porn so I didn’t think about bi stuff until I was in my 20s.

It’s perfectly normal to have these thoughts.

You’re anonymous here. Feel free to expand on your thoughts and give us more clarity. This is a cool place to express your concerns without judgement.

 

I totally get it mate the thought turns me on and there is a certain looking cock that massively turns me on and I’m straight think most blokes do if honest. If you could experience it and know one would ever find out what would your most rudest fantasy about it

 

Penis type! I think you have the girls on that frequency.

 

Is the closet in the anarchist cookbook? I'll ask my AI chatbot.

 

One of my freinds is going through a simular time.Personally maybe consulting yourself why your not comfortable sharing it with your partner could lead to more answers.trusting our significant other is needed for a relrelationship to work.if your partner is a kind and right person for you this conversatoin would be treated normally.Maybe considering inviting a bi male to your bedroom for both your pleasure and hers.remremember though not let this sit for to long without a solutoin because it will effect your life outside and inside the bedroom. hope this helps -skater

 

it's fabulous to wonder, but i'm actually wondering!

the anarchist cookbook? yes! why?

the closet operates a little like a magic spell.

(and so... are magic spells in the anarchist cookbook? that is actually mostly about weapons or traps, and is actually really problematic. that isn't what I mean here, and I say that only because my perception of that is from hearing of it but never actually looking at it or attempting to get it or even never having searched for it on google).

not so much if you're looking at same-sex naked pics or something.

but if I'm shown this is normal? or even more powerful, if I'm shown this is what's cool? some rave kid with tunnel earrings and his or her same-sex partner doing coke at a party of bisexual and heterosexual people?

I'm under your spell! And now?

If I'm despondent about my life's losing trajectory, and if I'm being honest?

This might act strongly together.

I'm likely to misstate my sexual preference; more so than if I were seeing other things.

So is it a magic spell?

Well, it's a social construct but it is using many universal factors in life to present an alternative lifestyle.

Does that make it true? Does that make it false?

"The Closet" may be a means by which a person is hiding their true instinct.

Hiding our instinct to kill then is a fair comparison.

Are you angry?

 

@Matt@Work,
I'm new as well on this forum, but I believe that being curious is more normal than people will admit, and just because something you see gets you going doesn't necessarily mean that in reality you would.

I will say that talking to the person you have a serious relationship with is hard, uncomfortable, maybe even embarrassing. I had a hard time telling my wife but I'm glad I did, whatever the outcome was going to be when I told her I knew that I at least I was being honest.
In my 24 years of marriage the one thing that I believe is the key to staying married is communication. Whether it's good or bad.
For us, this opened the door for her to tell me about"kinky" things that she thought was a turn on and that she was nervous to tell me. Now we explore our sexual desires. We are private about all this even family, why? because it's our marriage and our business to put out there or not.

 

allo fren c: from one bi to another I hope this place helps u on ur path to self discovery ^w^ the gays are very swag :3

 

Would a trans gender woman help you break the ice? That way you would have a woman like you are used too, but she would have a cock.