I actually starting thinking about this topic while I was still in HS. They were saying this doctor in the Netherlands was talking to this young girl. And he asked her if she was sexually active. She said yes, and he asked her with whom. She said, well I masturbate. Which surprised the doctor for some reason, that she thought that made her sexually active. But you know, masturbation could be considered by itself a sex life. And all that matters with that is whether it is satisfying to you or if it's all you need. I've heard people resort more towards that option when they are older or when they get divorced. Or certain groups that find it hard to start relations might use that. The handicapped, or people who are just unpopular really for any reason. You could also consider yourself sexually active if that's all your doing. If being considered sexually active is important to you. Then if any of your friends ask you if you are, you could say yes. And if they press further you could explain to them what you mean, like that young girl above. There's also telephone sex. With a pay service. Or with someone who only wants that kind of a relation with you. That's satisfying enough for some people. You could also have telephone sex in person. I don't know what telephone sex in person is called. I guess it's just called talking dirty. But you could do that with someone too, if that's all they want with you. You can also be creative too. Maybe something I didn't cover here. Just keep it safe and legal, and avoid STD's if at all possible.
I was masturbating before I was fucking. My first, who became my mentor, taught me better ways to jack off. But one thing about it. Solo sex or with a partner, it's all sex.
For me, masturbating in s the total of my sex life. Sex ceased in my late 40s. Then came depression, chrating, online hookups by begrudging agreement with my wife, or I would have left. Sucker me, stayed, found MF sex rarely online. Too many mind games. Turned to MM oral and masturbating. In hindsight i should have left, but how to leave someone whos going through a lot of medical stuff. Now 71, few choices left
The issue here is what is meant by a 'sex life? The term is usually meant to refer to sex with another person implying that any other source of sexual enjoyment is inferior and not 'real' sex. But the example of the young woman in Holland shows that this is a narrow and negative view. Many women whose experience of sex with men is less than satisfactory have attested that their first (and in many cases only) truly satisfying and enhancing sex was masturbating to orgasm or came from a dildo not a penis. This derives from a long standing view that masturbation (and other sources of sexual pleasure) is sinful and taboo. As a man past 70 I came from an era when this was the case and for some time thought that masturbation was great but would not compare to real sex with a woman and would become unnecessary once I entered into a permanent sexual relationship. I eventually discovered that this was not so on both counts. That self sex could be equally pleasurable and orgasm just as profound and that the need and desire to masturbate neither diminished because I had partnered sex and did not threaten or take away from it. Sex with another is different to solo sex of course and it is those differences which allow partnered sex and masturbation to coexist in a healthy relationship.
