Drop your pants and shorts and get over the laps of a senior couple (sitting side-by-side on a sofa) and REALLY have them tear into your quivering, crimson rump!
Think of the many "Weapons of ASS destruction" that can REALLY blister a male tail.... Hairbrush Bathbrush Plastic ruler Wooden ruler Yardstick Shoe Sandal Slipper Plastic paint stirrer And, of course, a STRONG, FIRM HAND!