Definitely curious, but turned off

The "yuck" factor is my biggest concern. I would love to suck a cock and think " that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and I actually liked it". My concern is all the negativity, guilt and shame that was drummed into my head as a child about being a "fairy or queer". It's like anything else, the first time is always the most difficult. After living such a sheltered childhood with prudish, sexually repressive parents, it's going to be difficult for me to even touch another man's cock, let alone suck it.

 

I don't necessarily agree with that. If you go into a dirty, filthy restaurant and they serve you a burnt fillet on a fine china plate would you go back just because you liked the plate???

 

This is VERY real. Especially for guys that have only identified as straight for most of their life.

I became curious in my early 30's and eventually met a local guy and invited him over. He was a pretty good looking guy (in shape and short). I stroked him and he sucked me. It was great.

But, the moment I came, the guilt and shame overcame me. There was also a lot of confusion. Was I really gay?

It was like that for a number of years. I think that I finally got rid of the guilt and shame when I answered my question.

I took on the lable of "Heteroflexible." I LOVE being with women, but I also enjoy a guys cock and ass. I've never been interested in being romantic with a guy and I don't drool over guys when I see them in public.

When I settled myself on that point, I was able to set myself free from societies expectations and I proudly get naked with guys, stroke their cocks and suck them to completion.

It's simply one of the many joys that life has to offer. Society has no right to withhold that joy from me.

Don't be the man that society raised, be the man you want to be. Plus, you are allowed to be picky with a guys appearance, just like women are.

 

Very good advice.
The "post orgasm let down" was always a big concern of mine. What would happen and how would I feel if I sucked a guy's cock and then after he cums he won't suck mine. On top of all the guilt and shame I think I would almost feel raped. It would be like "we agreed to suck each other's cocks, but now that he came he refuses to suck mine. He lied to me and used me! Then there's the opposite situation where he sucks my cock and after I cum I can't bring myself to suck his.
I have to find the right person who would be willing to guide me and nurse me through this situation.

Maybe you agree with the fact that I can be picky, but I've gotten a lot of very negative comments from guys about being picky. They think it's ridiculous that want a visually appealing cock on a somewhat visually appealing body.

 

THIS is the key. I was lucky that I found a guy that checked all of my boxes.
1) He was local
2) He was single, as was I (this wasn't a deal breaker, just my initial preference)
3) He was Bi and had experience
4) He accepted my boundaries. We had chatted a few times before meeting. I made it clear to him that I had never been with a guy and didn't know how far I would go. I didn't have the desire to suck a cock yet and didn't expect him to suck mine.

For First Timers, it's helpful to have a few conversations to set the foundation for a meeting. Sometimes, if you build a connection with a guy that checks your boxes, you may be willing to compromise on the appearance. Hopefully you get to the point where you say, "I don't care what he looks like, he seems really laid back and safe." That will often supercede any physical compatability.

Finally, don't let yourself be judged by others. This is YOUR experience and you want to get the most out of it. We ALL have our "types" and you want to be with a guy that fits your type.

What I hope many people are saying is that you shouldn't miss the forest for the trees. Try not to let physical appearance get in the way of living your life and experiencing new things.

 

That lack of promised reciprocation is... an occupational hazard of cocksucking and the culprit - as always - is the refractory period of sex that more often than not proves to be devastating to men. I've been subjected to the blow and go more times than I care to think about it - which is what made me investigate why guys cum and, all of a sudden, they gotta be somewhere else and in a hurry and after promising to suck me off. Sure, some guys got over on me by making a promise they had no intention to keep but you get fooled like that once or twice and you learn the difference between a guy using you and a guy who's suffering from the refractory period.

I know that I resolved that if I wanted to continue as a cocksucker, I had to be able to not get pissed about or reading other negative shit into something that's just nature at work - just in a way that's not a lot of fun. It's like I told a guy who, after busting a nut in my mouth, started lying about having something important to do and I said, "Go handle your business - that's why I have two hands." Did I feel cheated, used, abused, whatever? No - because I know the reason why guys do this and just like I know that it's not easy for a guy to bust a nut and then be able to keep having sex when, as I like to say, he'd rather eat broken glass than to keep up his end of the bargain. I had to force myself to learn how to not let it stop me from sucking the other guy off (and like it had too many times) and, yeah, man, talk about feeling like shit, looking for my plate of broken glass - but his dick is still hard and his balls are still full and I gave my word that I'd suck him off so, deep breaths and back to sucking him until he gets off because my word has to mean something. I also realized that it makes no sense to be concerned about something that I can't do anything about other than to do everything I can to not let it make me run away after being sucked off and keeping my word to continue to have sex with them.

I'm not sure what pickiness has to do with anything because you can find that visually appealing cock on a somewhat visually appealing body but when someone cums, unless they've steeled themselves against that nasty-assed feeling, it's gonna be game over for whoever cums first and whoever came first just remembered that they left their cat in the oven or they need to take their car apart with just a screwdriver or, all jokes aside, anything that doesn't have shit to do with having sex. Is there a "right person" who can guide you through this? I'm honestly not sure except to say that this is one of those things you learn by doing more than, say, I can tell you exactly how I don't let the after-effects of cumming bother me because the short version is... I don't let it bother me.

Not all that helpful, huh? Yeah, when you're sucking a lot of dicks and the guys who are attached to them are telling you to slow down and don't make them cum, it's not always because they want to enjoy the sensations for as long as possible: It's because they know that when they nut, it's game over and any other plans to enjoy the moment are going right down the drain. I wanted and needed to know why and I found out.

 

1) Local is very necessary
2) Not being single is not a deal breaker, but like you my preference
3) I don't care what his sexual orientation is or how much experience he has, as long as he's honest about it and not forceful or aggressive.
4) Definitely has to accept my boundaries!!! I've basically been doing the same thing, only it seems like they lose interest too quickly. I keep getting replies from the quick "blow and go" crowd.

I keep having conversations with people, but apparently they don't want to take the time to cultivate a FWB relationship. I was talking to a guy yesterday. We were getting along quite well and things looked good. He said he had some business he had to attend to and he would get back to me when he finished. That was yesterday at about noon. Haven't heard from him since and he doesn't seem to be answering my emails.

You're correct about "missing the forest". I hope I will be willing to overlook some of my preferences once I meet someone in person and find out what they are truly like. I've done that with some women over the years. Overlooking the fact that they were "plain" or "average", but their personalities were just so effervescent and beautiful inside that their looks didn't matter. It all has to do with whether or not their is a mental connection between the participants.

 

Good advice!

 

Easy for an experienced cocksucker to say. I know there is an immense "learning curve" to get to the point of loving to suck a cock, but I'm sure you didn't reach that point overnight. I appreciate your input and you hit on pretty much every one of my concerns. The concern about "post orgasm let down" is one of the reasons that I always wondered about 2 guys in a 69. That way I'm sure that they could figure out a way to have simultaneous orgasms. Something like if you're getting to close and your partner isn't you tell them to slow down on you until you get them to the same level that you are. Did you ever try anything like that????

 

I’ve always found that even if I cum, having a hard cock inches from my mouth makes me want to suck it anyway. I guess I’m lucky.

 

I feel the same way.
I am not attracted to men at all but for whatever reason cocks turn me on.
Trans women that look more female and have curves turn me on big time.

 

I guess you and I are in the group "cocksexual". That means that we are turned on by cocks and not who they are attached to.
Yes, the trans woman would definitely have to have a nice curvy body, a pretty face, nice breasts and a beautiful cock!!!

 

You're right; it took me a while to deal with the learning curve and, honestly, it's not easy to say because it's not easy to do but I know what the 'problem' is and now you know (if you didn't already). Now, 69. Ideally the best way to enjoy sucking and being sucked and, yeah, you can tell them to slow down, or they might tell you to so that, hopefully, you'll both cum at the same time (or close enough for government work). I'm not going to say that I had a lot of success with this... which is why I had to learn how to keep sucking him after losing my load or I can see that he's struggling to keep sucking me after he's cum. Would it be nice if we came together? Sure! Is it really gonna happen like that? Maybe... or not.

I always thought that cumming together was a thing girls liked to demand of us but if you can make it happen, go for it! I know that guys are deep into edging these days to delay ejaculation and maybe this works for busting together but I don't know because I'm not into edging...

 

Yes, from all the replies and comments that I've gotten I do realize what I'm up against and what "hurdles" I have to jump to achieve my goal.
I'm sure there are more appropriate situations where 69 would not be ideal and I know there are people out there that just love sucking cock without reciprocation. Who knows, maybe some day I will be one of them. The thought of sucking a cock gets me really aroused, but it's the fear factor that holds me back. I'm guessing when the time finally arrives that I should just swallow my pride and fear and go for it so I can swallow some cum!!! I know that sounds strange because of my fear of performing fellatio to begin with. So, why would I want someone to cum in my mouth. Well I figure if I'm gonna go for it I want to get the complete experience. I guess if I don't like it I can always spit it out!!

 

Sorry was typing my message before seeing yours. Just wishing you luck finding a good situation and finally going for it!

 

If/when you get the chance to do it - and you do it - you will wonder why it took you so long to do it and you might even wonder what you were afraid of...

 

Well, the guy I was talking to did finally message me back and said he might be willing to try.

 

I hope you can make it happen. I think you’ll really enjoy it!

 

Once I get past the fear, shame and guilt I'm sure that I will enjoy it!! It's just getting past my "programming"!!!

 

The question to ask yourself is does it make sense for you to be ashamed of or guilty over something that you want to do? Honestly, I've had a new guy naked with me and he's staring at my dick and I know that he's... having a moment; trying to decide if he can really do what he's been thinking about doing; and I've heard them mutter, "Fuck it..." and they're sucking my dick and going to town on it, too - and I reasoned that they realized that there was nothing to be afraid of, nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to be guilty for... except maybe not doing this before now.

You can do it and if this is something you really want to do, you'll find a way to get it done!