Am I crazy to not want a long lasting sexual relationship?

It's possible that someone could only have short-term relationships because of some pathological characteristic (i.e., they would really be happier in a long-term relationship, but there's something wrong that's preventing that). It's also possible that not wanting a long term relationship could just be a baked-in aspect of their personality, and it sounds like this is the case with you since there's someone in your family tree who had the same characteristic (i.e., you've got a genetic predisposition to only wanting short-term relationships).

So to answer the question, no, I don't think you're crazy.

You haven't asked for any advice about how to proceed, but if you'd like I could try to offer some that might be helpful.

 

Thank you for the response. You are correct, I was not seeking help. I think it was more that some people tell me there is something wrong with me and I was looking for support from an enlightened group that my lack of interest in a long term romantic partner is not wrong. I always like to message so feel free if you like

 

We’re all wired different. Me not being wired the same as you are doesn’t mean I’m right and you’re wrong. It’s just different. I can’t identify with what you prefer since it’s not my preference. I’ve had several one night stands(more accurately couple hour stands) and while they served their purpose it’s not what I prefer. The familiarity that comes from a long term relationship is comforting for me. However I’m not blind to the adventure of the unknown.

 

Love you! (((Hugs))) …stay YOU!

 

“In most times and places, families were responsible

• for the production, distribution, and consumption of commodities,
• for reproduction and socialization of the next generation, and
• for coresidence and
• transmission of property.

Families generally still are.” (Linda J. Waite)

Sex and/or love were therefore not central to marriage. Fortunately, there are a lot of alternatives to marriage these days:





Are you one of those people who do not find repeated sexual interactions with the same person very stimulating? Because there is only one first time and the attraction of the new fades gradually or very quickly?

Remaining sexual attraction at 90% loss of attraction per sexual interaction:

1) 10%, 2) 1%

Remaining sexual attraction at 80% loss of attraction per sexual interaction:

1) 20%, 2) 4%

Remaining sexual attraction at 70% loss of attraction per sexual interaction:

1) 30%, 2) 9%, 3) 3%

Remaining sexual attraction at 60% loss of attraction per sexual interaction:

1) 40%, 2) 16%, 3) 6%

Remaining sexual attraction at 50% loss of attraction per sexual interaction:

1) 50%, 2) 25%, 3) 13%, 4) 6%

Remaining sexual attraction at 40% loss of attraction per sexual interaction:

1) 60%, 2) 36%, 3) 22%, 4) 13%, 5) 8%, 6) 5%

Remaining sexual attraction at 30% loss of attraction per sexual interaction:

1) 70%, 2) 49%, 3) 34%, 4) 24%, 5) 17%, 6) 12%

Remaining sexual attraction at 20% loss of attraction per sexual interaction:

1) 80%, 2) 64%, 3) 51%, 4) 41%, 5) 33%, 6) 26%, 7) 21%, 8) 17%, 9) 13%, 10) 11%

Remaining sexual attraction at 10% loss of attraction per sexual interaction:

1) 90%, 2) 81%, 3) 73%, 4) 66%, 5) 59%, 6) 53%, 7) 48%, 8) 43%, 9) 39%, 10) 35%, 11) 31%, 12) 28%, 13) 25%, 14) 23%, 15) 21%, 16) 19%, 17) 17%, 18) 15%, 19) 14%, 20) 12%, 21) 11%, 22) 10%

Remaining sexual attraction at 5% loss of attraction per sexual interaction:

1) 95%, 2) 90%, 3) 86%, 4) 81%, 5) 77%, 6) 74%, 7) 70%, 8) 66%, 9) 63%, 10) 60%, 11) 57%, 12) 54%, 13) 51%, 14) 49%, 15) 46%, 16) 44%, 17) 42%, 18) 40%, 18) 38%, 19) 36%, 20) 34%, 21) 32%, 22) 31%, 23) 29%, 24) 28%, 25) 26%, 26) 25%, 27) 24%, 28) 23%, 29) 21%, 30) 20%, 31) 19%, 32) 18%, 33) 17%, 34) 17%, 35) 16%, 36) 15%, 37) 14%, 38) 14%, 39) 13%, 40) 12%, 41) 12%, 42) 11%, 43) 10%

Remaining sexual attraction at 2.5% loss of attraction per sexual interaction:

1) 98%, 2) 95%, 3) 93%, 4) 90%, 5) 88%, 6) 86%, 7) 84%, 8) 82%, 9) 80%, 10) 78%, 11) 76%, 12) 74%, 13) 72%, 14) 70%, 15) 68%, 16) 67%, 17) 65%, 18) 63%, 19) 62%, 20) 60%, 21) 59%, 22) 57%, 23) 56%, 24) 54%, 25) 53%, 26) 52%, 27) 50%, 28) 49%, 29) 48%, 30) 47%, 31) 46%, 32) 44%, 33) 43%, 34) 42%, 35) 41%, 36) 40%, 37) 39%, 38) 38%, 39) 37%, 40) 36%, 41) 35%, 42) 35%, 43) 34%, 44) 33%, 45) 32%, 46) 31%, 47) 30%, 48) 30%, 49) 29%, 50) 28%, 51) 27%, 52) 27%, 53) 26%, 54) 25%, 55) 25%, 56) 24%, 57) 24%, 58) 23%, 59) 22%, 60) 22%, 61) 21%, 62) 21%, 63) 20%, 64) 20%, 65) 19%, 66) 19%, 67) 18%, 68) 18%, 69) 17%, 70) 17%, 71) 17%, 72) 16%, 73) 16%, 74) 15%, 75) 15%, 76) 15%, 77) 14%, 78) 14%, 79) 14%, 80) 13%, 81) 13%, 82) 13%, 83) 12%, 84) 12%, 85) 12%, 86) 11%, 87) 11%, 88) 11%, 89) 11%, 90) 10%

Remaining sexual attraction at 1.25% loss of attraction per sexual interaction:

1) 99%, 2) 98%, 3) 96%, 4) 95%, 5) 94%, 6) 93%, 7) 92%, 8) 90%, 9) 89%, 10) 88%, 11) 87%, 12) 86%, 13) 85%, 14) 84%, 15) 83%, 16) 82%, 17) 81%, 18) 80%, 19) 79%, 20) 78%, 21) 77%, 22) 76%, 23) 75%, 24) 74%, 25) 73%, 26) 72%, 27) 71%, 28) 70%, 29) 69%, 30) 69%, 31) 68%, 32) 67%, 33) 66%, 34) 65%, 35) 64%, 36) 64%, 37) 63%, 38) 62%, 39) 61%, 40) 60%, 41) 60%, 42) 59%, 43) 58%, 44) 57%, 45) 57%, 46) 56%, 47) 55%, 48) 55%, 49) 54%, 50) 53%, 51) 53%, 52) 52%, 53) 51%, 54) 51%, 55) 50%, 56) 49%, 57) 49%, 58) 48%, 59) 48%, 60) 47%, 61) 46%, 62) 46%, 63) 45%, 64) 45%, 65) 44%, 66) 44%, 67) 43%, 68) 43%, 69) 42%, 70) 41%, 71) 41%, 72) 40%, 73) 40%, 74) 39%, 75) 39%, 76) 38%, 77) 38%, 78) 37%, 79) 37%, 80) 37%, 81) 36%, 82) 36%, 83) 35%, 84) 35%, 85) 34%, 86) 34%, 87) 33%, 88) 33%, 89) 33%, 90) 32%, 91) 32%, 92) 31%, 93) 31%, 94) 31%, 95) 30%, 96) 30%, 97) 30%, 98) 29%, 99) 29%, 100) 28%, 101) 28%, 102) 28%, 103) 27%, 104) 27%, 105) 27%, 106) 26%, 107) 26%, 108) 26%, 109) 25%, 110) 25%, 111) 25%, 112) 24%, 113) 24%, 114) 24%, 115) 24%, 116) 23%, 117) 23%, 118) 23%, 119) 22%, 120) 22%, 121) 22%, 122) 22%, 123) 21%, 124) 21%, 125) 21%, 126) 20%, 127) 20%, 128) 20%, 129) 20%, 130) 19%, 131) 19%, 132) 19%, 133) 19%, 134) 19%, 135) 18%, 136) 18%, 137) 18%, 138) 18%, 139) 17%, 140) 17%, 141) 17%, 142) 17%, 143) 17%, 144) 16%, 145) 16%, 146) 16%, 147) 16%, 148) 16%, 149) 15%, 150) 15%, 151) 15%, 152) 15%, 153) 15%, 154) 14%, 155) 14%, 156) 14%, 157) 14%, 158) 14%, 159) 14%, 160) 13%, 161) 13%, 162) 13%, 163) 13%, 164) 13%, 165) 13%, 166) 12%, 167) 12%, 168) 12%, 169) 12%, 170) 12%, 171) 12%, 172) 11%, 173) 11%, 174) 11%, 175) 11%, 176) 11%, 177) 11%, 178) 11%, 179) 11%, 180) 10%, 181) 10%, 182) 10%, 183) 10%

 

Not sure exactly where I fit? It’s not that I’m not attracted to a particular person or not, I just don’t want a “relationship” or and obligations to anyone. And I love having a lot of sex with as many guys as possible.

 

You lay right at the bottom of the chart. In the casual sex area. Some of your partners come from above but mostly you have casual sex even if it is in the area of multiple partners at one time (Gang Bang)

 

Ok…but I don’t like that word. It sounds too “casual”

 

The purpose of the family unit of several thousand years ago as noted above has morphed into one of being self sufficient or single operated. It was determined that a mans existence and legacy was tied to his offspring. The more offspring he had the broader his legacy was. His existence also depended on offspring and peer family members cooperating together to share the essentials of life. A major turn of thought occurred across the change to the Gregorian calendar which is based on the supposed birth date of Jesus Christ. His teaching and the continued teachings of eternal life abolished the need for children as now a man is thought to live forever, as false as that thought may be. The growth and knowledge of the human as well as the expansion of both sexes into the world commerce has placed family as secondary or even not required for existence. Once weened from the mother a human can learn and support their self, climb the rungs of the hierarchy of needs, and be more than just existing. Today, only two of the four bullets are valid in the family setting and those are becoming less important too. The reproduction and property bullets are still somewhat valid except reproduction can easily happen outside of the creation of a family unit. Transmission of property is now not required as humans are capable of acquiring their own property and value and it is only greed that spurs the transmission.

 

It’s you decision, if you are happy with your life and your not hurting anyone then keep doing what makes you happy, and don’t worry what people think.

 

As a man it's a lot harder to have multiple female fuck buddies available for occasional casual sex. I had to keep in touch frequently with them all on a regular basis (which is a bit of a commitment in itself.)
I found that we we had mind blowing sex, sometimes I had to come up with excuses for some of them of why I didn't want a relationship with them. I always was concerned about STDs and pregnancy. Some women are 100% looking to get pregnant with anyone. I probably came inside of about 18 women without any form of protection and just took their word for it that they were on birth control (I found out a few lied.) It just got tiresome as I reached my mid 30's. I wanted to settle down again, and be able to have safe, boring sex daily if I wanted without texts and calls and dealing with other people's schedules.
Also, I feel like online dating as has made everything much more difficult because it makes people feel like they have infinite options. Truthfully, I don't believe I have met that many single women in their 40's and up that would consider themselves "truly happy." A lot of them that I know personally desire a partner and a long term relationship because they are constantly dating but they have no understanding of how to get there. It does require some commitment and communication that some people are not accustomed to.
I always wondered about meeting women through swingers websites... Maybe I would get lucky and find one that is into an alternative lifestyle and also is open to love?? As long as we have trust and open communication I am OK with us bringing another person into the bed occasionally. Never happened though.

 

I don’t think you are crazy or not normal, I know you’re not the only one feeling that way.
Maybe you will someday, maybe you never will.
It’s not something you will onto yourself or someone else.

Only one disagreement with your post: seeing someone one on one more than once or twice doesn’t necessarily lead to long term commitment if you have fun with the right people.
I was one of them. Just that I don’t have a fwb now. They are not a dime a dozen here, and I suspect I don’t have the touch online.