Bi men and aging

You hit the nail right on the head, my friend!

 

It's all about growing older gracefully and bisexuality added a lot of stuff to make it easy to be wiser and graceful because it's more than just the sex: It's a way to be, a way to live, a way to see the world around you with eyes wide open and understanding that there are always possibilities, and everything is negotiable. It's never about what someone who isn't bisexual thinks: It's always what you think and if you're old like me, you just don't give a fuck what they think because you have learned how to live with your bisexuality and your love of both pussy and dick.

And you should have learned that bisexuality isn't a game to be played or trifled with and if you really didn't know this, you know it now. By the time you get to be our age, you should be so comfortable in your bisexual skin that you don't even think about being bisexual although guys who showed up late to the party get cut some slack because they have a lot to cram into their heads and to process and guys like me who were early adopters have had decades to figure it all out and be comfortable with who - and what - we are as men.

 

I guess at 80 most would think it was time to keep it in your trousers, I guess I do most of the time, not so for over the past 60 years because my wives were just not enough for me, I used to participate in casual sex with other guys, only oral and masturbation, that pretty much ceased in the 80s with the advent of HIV, I was worried in case I took something home to my beloved wife, since then I have only played around with guys a few times, last session about 2015 with a young guy, I did things that way because I did not want to cheat with women, I did love my wife and she knew about what I was doing, on occasion she would ask me what I did with a guy which usually turned her on, I guess it helped both of us.

 

KDaddy23:

Another excellent post; again, your simple, straightforward common sense approach to bisexuality should be utilized by more bisexual men, who are still chafing under the restrictive yoke of ignorance, stereotypes, and the fear of unexplored waters.

I heard some pretty asinine bisexual jokes when I was still working; all were as tasteless and as stupid as the tidal wave of O. J., Simpson jokes that hit like a tidal wave, 30 years ago..

You also correctly stated that bisexuality is certainly NOT a game; indeed, there HAS to be common sense present, working hand-in-hand with reality.............

 

As I had recounted earlier here in this discussion, I was once "phone friends" with a 90-plues gay gentleman (now saddly passed) who was STILL "getting it on" with several gay/bi buds at least twice a week, sometimes more.

As he was a HUGE "cock hound", he indeed was NOT feeling "out of the circle", if you will!

He was living proof that a guy can be QUITE elderly and still have both the desire AND the ability to "rise to the ocassion"...........

 

Sure, why not? I'm thinking you stop having sex when you're dead. I have already made up my mind that if my dick stops working, my mouth and ass will work just fine; if I gotta be a total bottom to keep having sex, so be it...

 

Right on!

There's ALWAYS a "plan 'B' " to take advantage of; or, perhaps, an "alternate routeing"...........

 

Why accept nothing when you don't have to? It's one of the reasons why I say that all bisexual men should learn how to suck cock (and finish the job) mand if you haven't tried to bottom, now might be a good time to give it a try because if your cock stops working, um, what do you do? Give up... or yeah, it's Plan B time.

And, yeah, another thing you should prepare for when you're bi and aging and you see the wisdom in not giving up sex.

 

If you consider that my late friend was in his early 90s, and STILL enjoying sex with other guys a few times a week, you stop and think : "Well, hell, he can't be the ONLY guy in the world that old STILL enjoying a satisfying sex life!"

Again, I believe that, if you are of advanced age, and still in reasonably good health, why shelve your sex life?

It would then stand to reason: "A man is NEVER too old for sex!"

 

One aspect of aging (regarding bisexual/gay men) I find interesting is that, with many guys, the urge and desire for sex with other men grows stronger with age (in the case of bi married guys, long-repressed desires finally being realized?)

An "a-DICK-tion"? (sorry, couldn't resist!)

And, let us say that two married best buds (both of whom had long repressed their desires for each other, because society deemed it "wrong") finally act on their desires and further deepen the strong bond between them, the sexual bonding further enhancing the emotional.

Yes, it CAN all get quite interesting.................

 

I dunno - I've been pretty consistent as I've grown older; I don't feel that my desire for men is any stronger or weaker than it's always been - then again, I have never been repressed nor have I ever suppressed my desire for a good hard dick to play with so if my married best bud wanted to finally give in to his desires, I got something for him including six decade of experience I can ply upon him and make him wish he hadn't waited so long and allowed himself to be suppressed and repressed. Don't make the mistake in thinking that all bi married guys have long-repressed desires because many of us will do whatever we have to do to not be suppressed or repressed because that's so fucking unhealthy and if I had to choose between my mental and physical health and a woman's feelings against men having sex with each other, well, her feelings are going to lose every time because I'm going to invoke Rule Number One and take care of myself first... with or without her permission.

But I've had her permission so when I want dick, I go get it and, yeah, sometimes, from a guy who's been held in check for so long it's almost criminal... and I've made them ask, "What took me so long and why didn't I do this before now?" I know the answer to that... but let's not ruin the moment - how 'bout you bring that dick over here so I can breathe some life back into it?

I think that all guys, and no matter when they find out that getting some dick is good, feel like they've gotten addicted to it because you just can't seem to get enough to being with a guy and doing the things that make you happy. I think that when a guy gets to experience the things he's been holding deep inside because he believes that he's not allowed to do anything about them, he can feel just as addicted because now, he's trying to play catch-up for all the years he's been going without this particular pleasure - and it doesn't matter if he's a top, a bottom, or a more versatile. We do find that the more forbidden the sex, the better the sex is, which makes you wonder why it was forbidden in the first place.

You're my best bud and if you didn't know, you're gonna know if you allow me to show you... because what are friends for? It can get interesting? You have no idea how interesting it can get because this isn't fantasy or some game to be played; this is where and when you get to find out what it's like to be subjected to another man's lust and to subject a man to yours.

And if you're bi and getting older and you've been repressed and suppressed all this time, um, don't you wish you were my best bud?

 

KDaddy23:

Once again, well said and spot-on.

You know what they say: "Forbidden fruit always tastes the best!"

Seriously speaking, you are one of the lucky fellows, one whose female counterpart has no issues of your having sex with other men; no threat of being "outed", "ousted", discovered, or blacmailed.

Look at that one topic here, about having your sexuality used against you.

Being in an honest and open relationship, I feel, makes all the difference in the world.

Certainly makes the situation a helluva lot easier for the man, when he's looking to have some "fun" with the guys........at least he doesn't have to sneak about, as though his desires are taboo..........

 

Oh, it's not as if others haven't tried to use my sexuality against me because they have - and it got them nowhere. Since I was 15 or 16, I didn't care who you told that I slept with guys because the only person I was afraid of was my mother - and she knew that I slept with guys since she caught me doing just that. When I met the girl who would become (a) the mother of my children and (b) my wife, I told her that I sucked dick and like to be fucked and she didn't kick me to the curb and I suspected she didn't because... I suspected she liked pussy as much as I did.

Fact of life: Some guys, if they wanna have fun with da fellas, have to sneak around to do it. It's not like we live in a culture or in a world that says having same-sex sex is okay, right? Right - we sure as fuck don't. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission and so many men do not know if they can ask for permission but they're willing to beg for forgiveness and if they don't get it, well, that wasn't the woman for his and definitely not the woman who has his back and is willing to do whatever she can to ensure his happiness and like he slavishly tries to do for her. Being in an open and honest relationship takes away the stress of having to be Secret Squirrel when, yeah, you're trying to get a nut with a guy - but history has proven that both men and women will do whatever they feel is necessary to take care of their needs. Dude, if she needs pussy, you don't have one (unless you're really special) and if he needs dick, ditto (and ditto being really special).

I've been outed and I've had to defend myself... which is why I studied judo and karate as well as learning how to fight in the street. You wanna fuck with me about not being straight? I hope you have insurance and while I'm at it, what's your home phone number so I can call someone and tell them how to find your body? I have and will defend myself and my sexuality with evil intent and purpose and since a lot of people found that out, no one else wanted to fuck with me about it. I go both ways which really means that I'm having more sex than you are so don't hate the player - hate the game.

Y'all just mad because I can do some shit that you're too damned afraid to do. Oh, and ladies? If you aren't sucking your man's dick and sucking him off, there's a good chance that he might come check me out because I will suck his dick and swallow his cum - and without a complaint

 

EXCELLENT post!

GOOD move to take both judo and karate (hey, in today's insane insanity, a person NEEDS to know how to "fight back" effectively!)

Recall, one of FDR's most famous quotes of all time was: "You have nothing to FEAR but FEAR itself!"

Tell THAT to a "straight" guy who is too afraid to go down on another guy, or to take it up his ass!

It's all about "NEEDS"......simple as that.

After all, you're thirsty as hell and NEED a drink, so, what do you?

And, if you're hungry and NEED something to eat, you're just gonna sit there and starve?

ALL of us have different NEEDS.......if it is something you NEED (or CRAVE), then WHY deny yourself?

Again, the hell with the naysayers and bigots and live YOUR life as YOU wish to.......and there ya go!

 

Being afraid is 100% normal. Like, okay, you know that guys suck cock and you might have even seen guys sucking cock, usually via porn, but that depended on how things were when you were growing up and the guys you hung out with. You get curious about it and you can imagine what you'd like for it to be like but up to this point, you haven't even gotten close to taking a dick in your mouth. Then, the moment arrives and you find yourself in that moment of truth that I've said is going to determine if you can really do all of that shit you were imagining and jerking off to because it all gets very real when there's a guy's prick right there in your face and waiting for you to close your mouth around it.

The only thing scarier is being in that moment of truth and anticipation when he's about to stuff his dick in your virgin hole and fuck you. I have seen "straight" guys get to the moment of truth and... chicken out, which is normal and, in my opinion, carries no shame; I've had guys barf on me trying to get the head of my dick into their mouth and some guys say that they just can't (like my 20-something lover told me and had offered his ass for me to fuck in exchange for not being able to suck me). All normal because this sounds so easy and porn makes it look even easier but, yup, dick in your face and either you're going to suck it or you won't be able to.

Then you tack on the fear of being gay since everyone knows only gay dudes suck cock, worrying about what others are going to think - and like they're gonna know that you sucked a guy off. Some guys get past this fear by sucking cock with a woman present and the mindset here is that if there's a woman there, then sucking the guy's dick isn't gay (but it is) or it's easy to say that she made you do it and, as such, dodge the responsibility for your actions since you did do as she bid, huh?

Some dodges to get past that innate fear that I've seen so many guys experience; the number of times when a guy has been paralyzed by this moment-of-truth fear and he either thinks or I hear him say, "Fuck it..." and he's got my dick in his mouth and goes from being very tentative to sucking me like his life depends on it and... why didn't he do this before now? What was he really afraid of? Oh, and they can be just as fearful if they're going to be sucked by a guy for that first time and the moment of truth is kinda the same except there you are, dick all exposed to a guy and a guy who is moving to take it in his mouth and suck you until you cum... and it's all fun and games until that shit gets real - and it gets real pretty damned fast.

I've had guys say that they can't be sucked or, now, they don't want to be and I know they're afraid and it's okay to chicken out but I've talked to them because (a) there's nothing to be afraid of and (b) I really want to suck his dick and they've laid back, closed their eyes and let me do my thing - and with explosive results in many cases - where did they have all that cum? Same post-nut stuff about not knowing what they were afraid of and some guys kicking their ass because they had friends who wanted to suck them off "back in the day" and now he regrets having told them, "Nah, I'm good and I'm straight!" This, too, is normal but don't dwell on the missed opportunities; look toward and forward to the next time you and another guy decide that 69ing to get each other off would be a great idea.

The fear is real and it's a weird one because it's the fear of the unknown - you really do not know what's going to happen when his dick is in your mouth but, at the same time, you know what's going to happen - it just got real for you. If you've been sucked by women, it looks seriously weird to see a guy about to swallow your prong whole and, again, you know that guys suck cock... and now there's a guy about to suck your cock and, yep, pretty scary and to the extent that I've seen guys have full blown panic attacks because their minds can't process what's going on... and before anything happens.

Once you get past it, yeah, who knew that sucking cock could be so much fun and satisfying - and that dude just sucked your dick better than any woman ever had and he swallowed down every drop of cum you had!

 

Now, when you're bi and older, should you have gotten past that initial fear already? I hope so! But I know bi guys who have never had the sex and... now they want to and being older doesn't always help allay that moment of truth fear. Your thoughts and feeling are all over the place because you want to finally do this but there's still that thing in your head telling you not to and the fear factor ramps up and...

I'd met a 64-year-old who was okay with his bisexual feelings but passed on having the sex but then, sadly, his wife died and even though he waiting the "appropriate time" before trying to date women again, he was firmly of a mind that, now would be a good time to suck a dick, found me online, and we had a long talk about it before I met him at his place. He was excited and scared and I had to get him to relax and to just stop thinking about it; I'd seen too many guys keep thinking about it and wind up "talking themselves" out of doing it. We're naked on his bed; I've informed him that (a) there is no shame if he cannot do this and (b) he can call it all off at any time. He crawled between my legs, took my dick in his hand and stroked it for a moment and said, "I'm scared shitless but I know I shouldn't be!"

"Don't think - just do it," I said quietly. "If you really find that you can't, it's okay." I guess that his intelligence was having a fit over what his emotions were telling him but after giving me a few more strokes, I heard him say, "Fuck it..." and he took me into his mouth and, once again, I'm amazed at how tentative a guy can be in this moment because now he had a dick in his mouth, his brain is trying to process this and decide if this is a good feeling or not and then start sucking me lik e they've been doing it all of their life. I eventually tell him that I'm gonna cum - and as I promised to and I had said to him that he didn't have to let me cum in his mouth at all and he said that he understood. All he did was pickup the pace until I felt my prick swelling in his mouth and I'm swamped by the feelings as my cum pumps into his mouth.

Once let go of me and sat up, I wanted to know if he was okay and... he's grinning like he stole something and, yeah, he asked why he never did this before now. Sixty-four years old and acting like he's 16 and he just gave a guy a blowjob.

I found that the older a guy is, the harder it is for him to not be afraid of that first time sucking cock because it goes against... everything we're taught and believe but, again, we know that dudes suck cock. There's a whole lot of... being straight that a guy has to be able to unload and no matter how old they are when they suck cock for the first time or, yeah, they've assumed the position and they feel a guy's lube-slick knob pressing against that forbidden hole and... yeah, that shit hurts going in but once it's in and he's had a chance to get adjusted, well, if you were curious about what women feel when you fuck them, now you know.

Yeah, some older guys are of a mind that when it's time for them to get some dick for the first time, there's no sense in being afraid of it so diving right on in is the thing to do because life is a lot shorter at 65...

 

Until I had to think about it, I wasn't thinking about the fact that I was getting older and how that might play into my bisexuality, which is switched-on all of the time until my mom called me on my 60th birthday and asked how it felt to be 60... and now I had a reason to think about being older. I've been bisexual for six decades now and while my thoughts, feelings, and even opinions on bisexuality have changed over the years, how I'm bisexual hasn't so much although I've had to adjust to the prevailing times or, at the very least, be aware of what other bi guys are doing and talking about. As we've talked about here, getting older is already rather daunting but becomes even more so when, being bisexual, you're now being subjected to age discrimination and on top of the shadow of ED hanging over everything as well as the greater chance of prostate cancer and, yeah, as my mom used to say, getting old is for the birds.

Being bisexual is timeless and ageless and my passion for being bisexual hasn't diminished at all and there are times when I find myself wishing that everyone was bisexual so they, too, would know the joy I've felt for the last 60 years of not being strangled by religious and social dogma because being bisexual is more than having sex with both males and females; it's a lifestyle, a mindset and, well, a way to be as well as a thing to do. I'm all bisexual, all of the time, so I can't imagine what it's like to hit 50 through 60 and only now feeling the call of cock or like it is for some guys, it's a measure of last resort and one that must be taken - and those of you who have taken it, well, you know why you had to: Needs always must. And life just got a little shorter to be ignoring those needs and not seeing to them.

And if you weren't really aware of this, I'm making you aware of it. This is one thing you should have taken off your bucket list a long time ago but it's not too late, you know, if it's something you really want and need to do. What are you waiting for?

 

KDaddy23:

A series of EXCELLENT posts; your honest and open views and opinions indeed speak many volumes, for certain.

Yep, getting old is not something ANY of us (regardless of our orientation or social standing) looks forward to.

And, we hit 67 (my current age) we are made painfully aware that most of our life is now behind us (are we now on "cruise control"......until the day that life's train finally comes to the end of the line?)

There is not one of us who can look back and truthfully say we have no regrets; it is only natural that we ALL do have regrets of one kind or another.

Even in my celibate lifestyle, I take great pride of being my OWN man; I answer to NO ONE and live MY life as I wish.

It is a great thing to be totally independent and NOT depend on ANYONE for ANYTHING.

In fact, I once read an old saying:

"Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall not be disappointed."

I derive tremendous satisfaction and pleasure from my many hobbies and interest.

Do I get lonely?

Hell, yes!

Do I sometimes feel that I got the "short end of the stick" by not being what society deems "normal"?

Damn straight I do!

BUT....I DO NOT dwell on what I DON'T have in this life; I bother no one, and no one bothers me.

Not being involved (or "playing the field") with anyone gives me tremendous peace of mind; I do not have to worry about being blackmailed, filmed without my knowledge, nor do I have have to worry about stds, or some guy telling me he is single, when, in reality he has a wife or a partner.

In this respect, ALL the cards are stacked in MY favor.

Being your own best friend has many positives; perhaps the greatest being you will NOT turn on yourself without warning, or suddenly cast yourself aside for someone else.

I've been backstabbed too many times in the past to want to have to endure the pain I experienced again.

I've learned a VERY important lesson long ago: just because you treat another decently and with respect and friendship is NO guarantee they will treat you likewise.

We all march to our own different "drummer"........if we can make peace with our lives, then, I feel, we have accomplished a tremendous undertaking.

Take it all in stride, one day at a time....................

 

Further:

I've never been a man to "gloss over" his shortcomings.

Though (I admit) am pretty amply endowed, to be quite frank, even with my vivid imagination, I cannot see myself as being a guy whom another would be attracted to.

Honestly speaking my good friends, I have no looks (I can barely pass off as "mediocre"), no physique, no sex appeal, no money, and a hernia.

HARDLY a "good catch", for sure!

Positives?

I have a good and generous heart, always willing to lend support (or an ear), and always put the needs of others before my own.

I'm always loyal and faithful (think of "Old Yeller"!), and always honest and forthright, and treat others as I myself wish to be treated

I try to have a pleasant personality, and, basically, abide by the "live and let live" credo.

Anyway, that's just who I am............

 

Shit, the only regret I'd have is I'm about to die - oh, wait, I've died before and rather recently and as I processed that event, I had no regrets about stuff I hadn't done because when it comes to sex with men, if I haven't done it, it's because I didn't want to.... and I've a lot. I remember having an heart attack scare many years ago and I had realized that there was a lot of stuff I hadn't gotten done and that, well, I'd better get them done - but sex with men wasn't one of those things but, sure, I resolved to get more dick to suck and to fuck the three women in my life at the time as much as I was physically able to. You do not want to be at the end of your life and making things "worse" by having regrets over something that you could have done - but you chose not to do and for whatever reason you decided not to.

To you, Gray, I say stop selling yourself short and if you were interested in putting your celibacy to an end, you might be surprised at how many men would want to get with you because all they care about is having sex. At the end of any day - and at the end of your life - the only thing that matters is have you been true to who you are as a person? I know that I have...