Making out

Pretty much same here. Actually my same sex desires were a bit more vague at first partly because I had such a hard time even accepting the idea of liking guys. But kissing is a whole level deeper into the desire so I wouldn't dare even consider the idea.
But over the (many, many) years I have accepted my bisexuality and now I embrace my same sex desires so let's go all the way and be passionate as well as smutty lol!

 

I’m really not into kissing other guys but if a guy wants to,I’ll do it. Especially if we are naked and have our hard cocks pressed together.

 

I think that the way I grew up with my bisexuality didn't "allow" room for making out with guys and, besides, we're supposed to make out with girls. I think any "urge" to make out got stifled because we always had to sneak around to have sex and often in places where we could be caught by an adult so, in a lot of situations, we had to hurry to do our dirt so stuff like hugging and kissing were best saved for girls. I mean, I've made out with guys and mostly because they wanted to; I adopted that I don't have to like it, but I do have to know how to do it - and it's not like I've never made out with a guy - it's just not the first thing that pops into my head when it's time to get that dick and, yeah, even as an adult, there's not always time to get into a full-blown make out session because it does take x-amount of time to suck a guy off. Then I had to consider that in some times when I wanted to make out, the other guy didn't even though I'd give my word that I wasn't going to kiss him but I wanted to use my mouth on him in places other than his dick - sometimes they went for it, most of the time they wanted no part of it and... fine by me - I wanted to suck him off to begin with and save making out for the ladies, who need this more than we do or so I thought.

Still, making out is a part of having sex... and I do know how to have sex even if it's something that's not my cup of tea.

 

I'm fine with kissing if that's what my top wants to do. I wouldn't initiate it. It's just not something I would be looking to do. But, I have had it happen to me, and I have to say it was really hot. My old FB suddenly planted a long kiss on me in the heat of intercourse and I found myself giving in to him and opening my mouth wide to take his tongue. Thought my cock was going to explode. Haven't done that in a long time.

 

Non-hetero making out comes more naturally to pan sexual people, because their gender orientation tends not to be so narrow and fixed. I experienced this myself for the past 50 years, despite the intense social pressure to be binary. In the embrace of open minded lovers, making out comes naturally to me.

Lately I've been gratified to see more non-binary folks confidently out in public, despite the intense backlash from right-wingers. A few nights ago, I met a beautiful young non-binary person interacting with many members of the public at the checkout area of a major grocery store. It was obvious that this confident young person had the respect and support of fellow workers, creating a space where no one from the general public would dare to do or say anything that was disrespectful.

As society continues to change, men will gradually be less subjected to binary gender conditioning and will be more liberated to express affection.

 

Non-hetero comes naturally to pansexuals? Since when? Making out is a choice one makes; either you want to or you don't. You're either into it or you aren't. If nothing else, it's a preference. I've made out with guys and I've not wanted to be bothered making out. Y'all act as if making out is some kind of mandatory requirement when it never was and if it is for you, it's a preference that you have that goes along with how you handle your sexual business when it's time to handle it. I don't even make out with my lady and the last thing she wants to do is make out with me - and then, some days, we're making out like teenagers and it means... nothing other than that's what we wanted to do in that moment in time. Or not. Making out with a guy? Depends on the guy; depends on how amorous I'm feeling; depends on if I have the time to get into my idea of making out or, yeah, if I even feel like being bothered - and then potentially making the mistake of assuming that the other guy wants to make out and... it's the last thing on his mind.

Heterosexuality and homosexuality are narrow and fixed; they are single source items while bisexuality isn't so narrow or fixed and definitely not single source unless you, as an individual, choose to place limits on yourself in these things, oh, like deciding on whether or not you want to make out with your lovers as a matter of course or you don't want to be bothered with making out now or at all. If you want to be that affectionate, you can but do not make this an "all inclusive" thing for bisexuals or, really, anyone for that matter since making out isn't restricted or bound to sexuality.

Either you do or you don't. Choice. Preference. If you need it, then do it; but if you don't want to, you don't have to. I'd make out with thepapasmurph because I know he thrives on being affectionate but it doesn't ever mean that I'm going to want to make out with every guy I have sex with and even if they're expecting it. Choice. Preference. Either you're a make out artist or you aren't.

 

I was the same way. Kissed maybe 3 guys only
Because they wanted to. Now I think about kissing a guy and it seems more normal .

 

I will suck my friends cock and he will suck mine, but neither of us want to kiss each other. We are just two old guys who enjoy getting off and mutual sucking is old guy fun.

 

Since time immemorial.

In western culture, people take binary thinking for granted, but that is mainly due to cultural conditioning. In many native American cultures and in the natural world in general, gender expression is accepted as a spectrum, not an either/or choice. It's best represented by the statistical "bell curve of distribution", with pan sexual people being toward the edge of that bell-shaped curve.

For pan sexual folks who also have both masculine and feminine characteristics and are not saddled with past trauma or excessive social conditioning, affection for people of various genders can come very naturally. In my case, I am attracted to confident and considerate people of all gender orientations. If we make a strong connection and feel the need to be physically intimate, that happens as naturally as it does among hetero folks.

The best aspects of falling in love are not transactional.

 

But it's not always about falling in love, is it? As I understand it, pansexual is a more modern construct that's more associated with gender expression... but what does that have to do with making out? Perhaps it's just me but I don't see how this is relevant to the direction of the conversation: Do you like to make out or not? You either choose or prefer to make out... or not if that's the case. It either fits the way you are as a person - and a lover - or it doesn't.

 

Oh no, pansexuality is an ancient phenomenon. It only seems like a modern construct to most people in our culture. It has been observed in other sexual animal species besides humans. Like I mentioned, it's not the most prevalent sexual behavior on the bell curve of statistical distribution, but it definitely exists in nature.

As for how it relates to this discussion, I was pointing out how making out with others who are not part of what society calls "the opposite sex" comes more naturally to passionate pansexual humans. The same thing applies to passionate gay people. A lot of bisexual men (but not all) I have met are just that, bisexual but not biaffectionate, usually because they reserve their expression of affection for women.

However, most of the pansexual folks I know already embody both masculine and feminine characteristics, so that line between male and female is not so distinct. I have always been drawn toward affectionate people, no matter what their gender is. Affection and the best sexual experiences go hand in hand for me.

 

How is that different from how we go about being interested in someone? Do we not consider the whole person? I still don't see how gender is relevant when discussing sexuality since I agree that gender is not - and should not - be a point of focus; just one of those things you note about the person as you consider the whole of who they are. For maybe ten years or more, I've been trying to figure out how pansexual is really different from bisexual and... I still don't see it other than the word "gender" being inserted into the mix and as a nod to people who have reason to question their gender or have a beef about the binary nature of how we deal with each other but still doesn't appear to have any relevancy to sexuality since I know people who are transgender and bisexual - but does that make them pansexual?

I don't think so and there's no empirical proof to support this supposition that I'm aware of... and I still ask what this has to do with making out. We just keep complicating the plumbing and making it easier to stop up the drain... and we have not learned to stop doing this and probably never will.

 

Yes, sexual behavior is different from gender expression. For example, bisexuality for men technically means you engage in sexual practices with both men and women, but you can see your gender as being completely masculine while engaging in that bisexual behavior. I was fortunate that my introduction to bisexuality was with a guy who was not hung up on being "all man".

While it is true that pansexuality involves non-discrimination based on gender but not necessarily having a non-conforming gender identity, every pansexual person I have actually met in my life has great empathy for those who are non-conforming. How did these pansexual people get that empathy? By acknowledging the range of gender expression within themselves.

Having said that, I recognize that there are macho men who will fuck anybody who is breathing, irrespective of gender orientation. I have observed them make disparaging remarks on internet forums about "trannies" and "sissies" and "eunuchs" they have sought out for their personal pleasure. Technically, they would be pansexual, also. I just don't hang out with that crowd-- I have only heard about them. I prefer to hang out with men who understand that their masculinity is not threatened by acknowledging their own feminine characteristics.

Many men do not even imagine this possibility. I found men like that to be quite transactional in casual sexual encounters, often in the blow-and-go category. For me, the sexual experience is much more satisfying when the participants understand that gender is not a clear-cut binary situation, and that people of all gender orientations have so much in common with regard to basic human needs.

Great sex for me is like nuclear fusion-- I fuse with another human and together we become way more than the sum of our parts.

 

The reality: Some of us are about the parts, some of us are about the hearts, some of us are about both. Some of us are wholly homoerotic, some of us are wholly homoromantic. We cannot - and should not - shoehorn each other into boxes and assume that those boxes are static and unchanging; how we react to and engage with a guy depends on a lot of stuff that's not a part of our MO when about to have sex with a guy; we can and do change our minds about what we do, when we do it, all that good stuff. I don't care to kiss men... but I've done it and I've enjoyed it and... so what? Situational, not conditional for some of us while so many other guys insist on hugging, cuddling, kissing, etc., and that's fine... but it's not the only way of things and last I heard, there is no standard for making out and, last I heard, it's not a mandatory requirement in order to have sex with a guy or anyone else for that matter.

I know guys who are very much in touch with their feminine side... and will fuck anyone and... so what? That's how they roll so dumping this on macho guys is... pretty messed up - and I know some of them who are horny little princesses when you get them naked and... so what? I have heard guys saying all kinds of foul shit about men who are not like them... and what they do is entirely different and now, which thing means the most: The words they said or their actions? When it comes to making out, it's about what you want and need and being with guys who want the same things as you do - but if they don't, that doesn't make them wrong or the bad guy.

We tend to want to romanticize this while turning our backs on the reality of how visceral it is for men to have sex with each other - just raw and powerful and driven purely by lust and... this isn't the way to look at it by only looking - and acknowledging - the part that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy - but you do have the right to not see all it.

 

Just exercising my right to express my perspective, after many years and many encounters...

 

I know and I'm enjoying the conversation; this is how we learn about what others are doing and thinking by engaging in such conversations! Like you, I've spent decades having sex with guys as well as diving deep into the rabbit hole that is male bisexuality and I'm surprised that my head hasn't exploded from all the stuff that's been crammed in there and more so when, just when you think you've seen and heard it all, you find out that you didn't - and now there's something else to consider when someone asks, "Why would you want to sleep with men and women?"

Or someone wants to know about making out with a guy...

 

It used to be that most of us humans only considered three choices, straight, gay, or bi, which all fit neatly in a binary perspective of sexuality and gender expression. However, now that many of us are recognizing that nature is not strictly binary (like computer code) and that there are gradations of gender expression in humans and other sexual species, we also need to include the pansexual and pangender terms in our discussions.

Check out the literature on the spectrum of gender expression in the natural world, all the way from plants and reptiles that have non-binary expression to intersex and neuter humans. They are even discovering that some species can change gender as a result of epigenetic, symbiont-induced, and environmental factors.

So, yeah, pansexual people might end up making out with any human they find attractive, irrespective of gender expression.