can I lay something out to you?

Sorry papaSmurf and everyone else who has suffered an STI/disease. I have so far been very lucky in my 30 years playing with guys, with sucking over 200 cocks, full penetration in one guy's ass once, with a condom on, rimming maybe half a dozen male assholes, doing a little bare half cockhead penetration with a couple guys, 2 tumultuous long-term relationships with women (fucking always with a condom except two times--neither wanted to go on the pill), and fucking one female prostitute once with a condom.

I am in a more dangerous phase in my gay desires now, finally giving in to my powerful fantasies for bareback sex, going on prep just over a year ago, but then getting so busy with work, gaining weight, and needing to get back to the swimming pool at the gym as soon as this work lets up, which is in less than a month I hope, that I haven't yet had a chance to get together with any guy, and I don't want to until I lose weight (I just don't feel sexy when I'm overweight like this). I know bareback fucking is the riskiest sexual activity, especially with other gay men, but since the fall of 2020, I just can't keep my cock hard enough while trying to get a condom on in order to penetrate a guy's ass. At 61 and on an antidepressant that has some sexual side effects, I figured I would try being bare with a guy *that I vetted*, so I went on prep at least to protect me from the most dangerous STI, HIV. But ultimately I want to be in a monogamous relationship with a male fuck buddy, or even a boyfriend.

 

I look back on my life and to where it all started for me. I did so many crazy things. Un protected sex with some strangers all (guys) I feel so lucky I never got more that a uti . It’s now been over 2 years since I’ve been with any guys I know I’m clean as I’ve been tested. I can’t imagine doing the things I did before. Happy to not be having sex with men but do miss it. But I ain’t going back there. At least I hope I won’t