Are You A Romantic Or Lusting Bisexual Male?

I guess I lust. It's not the cock I'm after. I look at everything else. If you are the bad boy type. Hell yeah.

 

With women it's mainly romantic sex, except for the few one nighters I had and that was purely lust. With my wife it's mainly romantic, but there are times I just want a fuck. I haven't been with a male in decades, and for a couple of years with my suck buddy it was purely lust. We were young and full of cum, and we just wanted to suck and be sucked. Now all these years later I could see being romantic with a gay friend of my wife. He's a more masculine gay man and flirts with me even when my wife is around. I think he likes to tease me. With him I could envision all of the kissing, touching, licking, sucking and getting fucked. I could also see spending the night snuggled up with him so we could have another go in the morning. With some other guys I think it would be purely lustful........ I think the best for me would be a bi married guy that's not getting any from his wife, we'd hook up a couple times a month for sex. And afterwards talk about sundry things, play some golf tennis boating. Just a good friend that happens to like cock too

 

I'd be your huckleberry.

 

Maybe I’m in the middle also. Although for me with a woman I love the romance of it almost as much as the pure sex. There is not any part of a woman’s body I’m not attracted to, and any touch of a woman feels good.
With a man, I do enjoy sex as part of a friendship but I wouldn’t categorize it as romance. It’s more of a thing where we can make each other feel good sexually within a friendship, but I cant say I feel the same love as I am capable with a woman.
With both I am still able to appreciate sex just for the sake of enjoying the pleasure of it without any emotion to it. Although even with men I like it more if there is some personal connection there but still its not romance.

 

I am head over heels in love with my transgender girlfriend. I worship the ground she walks on. Sucking her cock and being fucked by her is heaven for me. It’s lust combined with love - I have never felt this way about a woman.

 

I can see why you're head over heels in love with and worship the ground she walks on. She's absolutely gorgeous, and from the way you describe it, her cock must be amazing.
You say you've "never felt this way about a woman", but that's just it.... She IS a woman even though she has a cock, and you're her dedicated bottom.

 

I agree.. I'm primarily drawn to women - both emotionally and physically - but I've found myself invited to share the bed of male/female couples - both married & unmarried but committed.. some asked me to return upon occasion.. the anticipation I felt as the day/night/weekend approached was curious to me.. it wasn't a possessive yearning for either, though I'd have certainly fought for them if either was attacked.. it was a friendship born from a connection other than tickling each others' genitalia.. an understanding of sorts.. an emotional sense of well-being that one finds with a friend.. they were a couple and I understood they would remain a couple.. this understanding elevated the relationship.. it was 'they' and 'I'.. my desire for 'them' was equal.. I pleasured -and was pleasured - by male and female equally and I'll always remember those exchanges above others.. I still see their faces and hear their moans, sighs and laughter BECAUSE it wasn't 'just sex'.. I can't say I remember the 200 or so individual ladies or guys I had dalliances with; unless we did more than just fuck..

connecting on a level other than merely exchanging fluids elevates the union..

but that's what makes memories special..

 

Isn't romance more connected to gender roles than basic affection? Like, I think of romance as a ritual where people woo each other with traditional acts of chivalry.

But aside from those rituals, I like it when men are considerate and affectionate with each other. Affectionate touch helps to fulfill a primal need.

 

Of course there are! It's just that it's not about romance with everyone - it's about personal preference, what turns you on, stuff like that. There has always been the presumption that if you like sex with men, then you're also romantic with men and, well, that's never been the whole truth, nor does it apply to all bisexual men. I have kissed men... but it's not a favorite thing to do nor do I insist upon it; if you want to, we can but if you don't - or there's no time for the involved stuff - I wouldn't be upset and just as happy to take care of that erection. Finally, it's been my opinion that it's not about what you do - it's all about why you do what you do and what it means to you. I get the "hearts, not parts" thing... but parts are good.

 

I've always been romantically attracted to women, when I started meeting men - in my 30s - it was purely sexual and for years the thought of kissing a man was off-putting to me even though I had no qualms about him fucking me! Over time, as I discovered just how great kissing a man is and how it turns me on, I have become more and more curious about what it would be like to have a romantic relationship with a man. The moment after I've come I often feel distant and unsure about what I did, but it helps a lot when the guy I'm with stays close and holds me. I think if I wasn't married I would probably try dating men not just for sex but romantically, and see whether that is more my true self than the (largely repressed) bi side that only comes out in purely sexual encounters. I am still happy with my wife and not willing to break up our marriage though, so at the end of the day even if I often feel more gay than straight sexually, emotionally it is probably the other way round.

 

In these things, I've found that for some of us, it's just sex and let's just get right to it but for others, more is needed, wanted, required, etc., and there's nothing wrong with either thing because it's still about what's going to float your boat. I had a boyfriend and we were madly in love with each other which was one hell of a shock for me to go from saying it would never happen and then it did. Great learning experience and, yes, loved kissing and cuddling with him but that's different from, say, meeting a guy in a bar and going off to get each other's rocks off and call it a night.

But there is no "rule" that says you have to be romantically attracted to men and it continues to tickle me that so many people seem to think there is...

 

Guys who vanish immediately after orgasm might be ashamed of MM sex. The ones who like to enjoy the afterglow are the ones I remember the most.

 

That's not it. That would be the refractionary period of sex. We cum and, basically, we run out of gas and our thoughts might be on more sex but our bodies ain't having any of it and, well, in this period, many men would rather eat broken glass than to try to keep having sex. This feeling is so shitty that it has always been associated with guilt and shame but the question I asked about this was... what sense does it make to feel guilty or ashamed of something that I wanted to do? It didn't make sense but I had to find out why... and I found out why. It's how our bodies work. It's like this: Our "job" as men is to deliver our seed. Once we do that, we've done our job and now we literally have to recharge and yeah, feeling pretty shitty, want to jump up and leave or, classically, it's nap time. This gets us into trouble with women for not wanting to cuddle in the afterglow (and all that quasi-romantic stuff). It's not that we don't want to; it's not like we don't know about basking because we do - but this damned refractionary period just... fucks shit up. I know that I had to learn how to fight through this feeling and it's still a motherfucker to stay put and to keep having sex or basking in the afterglow.

If you've been having sex with guys and are used to it - but you bust a nut and you're ready to head for the hills, it's not shame that's doing it: It's your own body doing what it was designed to do. Don't believe me? Google it.

 

Oh yeah, it might not be shame that causes a guy to to vanish immediately after an orgasm occurs. With some it might be shame. With some it might be the only thing they were seeking was the thrill of rapid anonymous sex. With others it might be that his sole interest was his own orgasm or desire to used for another guy's orgasm.

My post was about which male lovers I remember the most and what my own intimacy interests are. Having or seeking a consistent FWB does not limit others from seeking something different.

 

Lusting all about a hot body and cock

 

I have never seen anything wrong with being a lusting bisexual male.

 

Lusting now. I used to be both (teen).

 

Two guys sucking each other's dicks, or one guy sucking the other guy's dick IS "queer" by the very definition. Straight guys don't suck dick, but a LOT of guys who do suck dick or enjoy having their dicks sucked by other guys aren't necessarily gay either. "Queer" is a pretty accurate term for describing bisexual men.
As a bisexual guy myself, I wouldn't be too concerned about labeling myself as "queer" or others saying I'm "queer" as long as they knew and understand I'm NOT "100% gay."

 

Are you totally open and honest with your wife when it comes to your bisexuality? If so, she probably knows and hopefully understands that you "often feel more gay than straight sexually." Based on what you wrote here, it sounds like you might be just as intimately/romantically attracted to men (at least some) as you are to women (your wife). Nothing wrong with that.
How does your wife feel about you being bisexual?
If she's open-minded and supportive of it, maybe she'd be accepting of adding another man to your marriage, or allow you to persue a relationship with another man, as long as her needs and desires aren't neglected.
It does kinda sound like you might lean more overall towards being gay (not just when it comes to sex), but if you're happy in your marriage, your wife's opinion on the matter is also very important on how to move forward with your "gay needs and desires." How is your sex life with your wife? I'd say if it's fairly good (or better), then the possibility of adding another man (in some fashion) could possibly benefit both you and your wife if that's something she'd be open to.
As a bisexual married guy myself, I have similar thoughts and feelings as you do. It's not always easy... But if there's a will, there's usually a way.

 

Yeah, straight guys don't suck dick; I've heard this damned near all of my life. Ah, but where do you think the most bi guys come from? They were formerly straight guys who, gasp, sucked a dick a liked it. Or, yep, got sucked off by a guy. It's not totally a sexuality thing but it is definitely a sex thing and something that allows straight guys who do suck cock to insist that they're still straight.

Now, when I was growing up, "queer" was a word that was guaranteed to start a fight if "aimed" at someone; we all knew that being a queer was the worst thing a guy could be. As such and as a bisexual adult, I would never say that I'm queer and it really shocked me to see how many people were not only calling themselves queer but rejoicing in using the word to describe themselves. Maybe it's just me but I'd never use that word to describe my bisexuality. Never. The only people who may think of bisexuality as being queer are those people who (a) aren't bisexual and/or (b) don't have a clue as to what bisexuality is. Yeah... "queer" meant that you're gay... and I have always known that I'm not gay so I can't be a queer but even back in my youth, people who'd give me shit about my bisexuality always paid attention to the gay sex I had with guys... and just ignored the fact that I'd had more sex with females than with males.

And then, I have had a lot of 'straight' guys suck my dick. Does it mean that they're bi or gay because they did? I'd say no because it's not about what I think they are - it's what they think they are. Homey does a masterful job of sucking me off and swallowing my cum... and insists that he's still straight... and can we do this again?

Sure we can! Because, if nothing else, it's just sex. Romance might be nice but not required - and lust feels pretty damned good.