why the female low self esteem?

Why, in general..do women have low self esteem. it's true to an extent.

 

low self esteem??


how about no self esteem

 

its kind of silly, but girls try to fit in with society. the don't want to look conspicuous. the sad thing is that it is very obvious when they are trying to look inconspicuous so people still act like they are different and then the girl tries to fit in more not realizing this is what setting her apart. The girl who are happy and have lots of friend are like that because they are confident and friendly.

 

There could be different reasons for different girls as to why their self esteem is so low. Could be the family they were raised in, could be the school they go to, could be the overall environment. From what I have observed in the past with myself and other girls alot of the girls I know that have low self esteem live in an environment that makes them feel insecure and lowly. They may not get enough love at home, they may have too many siblings and they could get picked on alot, they could have parents or parental figures who really dont take time to spend with them....I mean really its a combination of a few factors. I dont think its necessarily due to society. Some of it Yes, but all of it No. I think alot of these girls just need a little more love and attention and not the kind of love and attention that makes them vulnerable. if you know what i mean.
Just my opinion on this.
This could also be applied for some guys as well.

 

I think guys have just as much low self esteem. They, too, try and fit in with the guys and act like a "man", just like girls want to look prefect and look like a "sexy lady"

not every guy and girl feels this way. And i personally don't think more girls have low self esteem than guys do.

 

it's hard to feel good about yourself these days when you are being constantly bombarded with images of what a woman "should look like" and "should dress like" and how we should act. and most of it you dont even notice, women in the media are often portrayed as stereotypes and they become idols to ordinary people who wish they could live up to these "perfect" women, which in reality don't really exist. everytime you open a magazine you see a pretty skinny girl with perfect proportions and flawless skin.

 

"it's hard to feel good about yourself these days when you are being constantly bombarded with images of what a woman "should look like" and "should dress like" and how we should act. and most of it you dont even notice, women in the media are often portrayed as stereotypes and they become idols to ordinary people who wish they could live up to these "perfect" women, which in reality don't really exist. everytime you open a magazine you see a pretty skinny girl with perfect proportions and flawless skin."

That's basically it right there...do you watch any sitcoms? Theyre' mostly fat ugly guys and pretty, slender women..plus the women are smart and can do it all while the guys are slobby jerks...Really all of hollywood is like that. A woman must be perfect to be famous and all the guys that are famous look like normal people and act like it. Is it really so difficult to understand? I mean just pay attention to your surroundings for awhile and you'll notice the pressure women are under all the time.

 

I think a lot of women are raised to take care of other people's needs and not their own...I got a lot of this as a child, and am in the process of unlearning some of this damaging upbringing...also, there is a lot of pressure (as someone else has already said) for women to look a certain way...thin, model-like, etc. Most of don't fit the picture exactly, and thus, feel badly about ourselves, the way we look, and who we are.

 

I think most people, if not all people, are over judgemental on theirselves. Sad, but true. Even the people with gigantic egos seem to be really insecure deep down.

 

For me in particular, I'm so competetitive that it's almost unhealthy. If I'm not the best, or at least one of the best, I become very depressed. I give up easy on things like that. I hate it, but it's hard to avoid that frustration. That makes me insecure. I don't know about anyone else.

 

right on, lady!

look at g.i. joe's arms in proportion to his body these days.. it's an impossible, unhealthy standard, just as barbie is for little girls.
men are told they must be emotionally detached, physically and mentally strong, logical, etc. they have body issues just like women do.. many use steroids because they dont feel buff enough, and eating disorders are a big problem amongst gay men. men are supposed to be attractive and "pretty" according to the media, but they can't be too concerned, or then their sexuality is threatened. look like a member of n'sinc, but don't try to. and god forbit you like to paint!

male, female, straight, bi, gay, transexual, transgendered, androgynous... self-esteem issues transcend all of these lables. it's not just a problem women have.. it's a problem that is deemed socially acceptable for women to have, and socially unacceptable for men to have. our culture says it is not masculine to talk about your problems and emotions, thus merely admitting you have self-esteem issues as a male can perpetuate those issues even more.

 

Hahaha i definately do not try and fit in with guys and be macho....id say im very very secure how i am as a person, but i do make sure i don't do anything to hurt other people ie not insulting or degrading, so in one sense i do hold back, but i think i would be like that anyway. We all get insecure at times, guys and girls. But as long as you got good mates it doens't last long!

 

OK please please read this it might change how you feel. I'm going to get a lot of crap for this but I have a theory about women with low self-esteem-it's their fault. They let their looks be the basis that they value their self-worth on and meanwhile their so fixated on their looks that they neglect the importance or facilitation of all other aspects in their life that promote ones self as a well rounded human being. Appearences fade, weight changes our looks aren't constant and they're not something we can fix but we can value other areas of our lives that are more important and contribute more to society then a perfect nose or a large chest our tits will sag but our achievements won't. Women who have low self-esteem usually aren't working hard enough to have higher self-esteem. they go to thearapy for hours to build more self worth when they really should be engaging in something that adds true value to themselves. I understand about the media and all that but if you're stupid enough to buy into that crap then you only have yourself to blame for any self-image problems because THE ONLY TIME PEOPLE GET UPSET IS WHEN THEY'RE NOT LIVING UP TO THEIR OWN EXPECTATIONS NOT THE EXPECTATIONS OF OTHERS. SO CHANGE YOUR STANDARDS IT'S EASIER THEN CHANGING EVERYONE ELSES.

 

That sounds like a very good thought. Nice one!

 

thats easy to say, but why do you think they feel bad about themselves in the first place. its not innate.

 

Because thats how people are brought up in society. If you meet people from one back ground where image is important then it will mean they are constantly not at ease. However if you are brought up in a family where such things aren't thought about. Often familys where someone has some form of birth mark or some irregular features maybe from and accident or from birth, do they grow up realising that physical appearance is not important.

 

To say that low self-esteem is the sufferer's own fault is a harsh and unloving thing to say.
As Sus said, if you have been taught from being a little child that your feelings and needs are unimportant compared to those of other people, that nothing you do is ever quite good enough, and sometimes even that to do what you want is selfish and wrong, you are going to have a problem as an adult. This can and does apply to men and women alike, but disproportionately to women, I think, because society expects women to be caring and nurturing and reinforces the guilt message against asserting yourself.
Imagine saying to such a person "Right, all that self-doubt and lack of confidence is your fault. You have nobody but yourself to blame for feeling worthless." It is unkind, not true and would only compound the despair.
What is certainly true is that going out to be yourself and to do something constructive that will reinforce and enhance your sense of self-worth is obviously a good idea. The trick is to get to a point in your life when this is even possible, and some people may well need to spend time in therapy learning to value themselves. Clearly friends can help, but a person who has spent their life feeling they are not worth anything may not have (m)any.
The whole physical appearance thing is a minefield. If people do not have an innate sense of self-worth, then they may pick on the most obvious thing that the media are pushing, i.e. looks, to try to acquire it. This is clearly ephemeral and leads to constant worry and self-criticism, but I for one would not condemn anyone for what is, after all, an attempt to feel better. Once people have reached true self-confidence, they will not need external means of feeling valuable; do not underestimate how hard it is for some people to get there.

 

I was brought up totally scared of my dad as he was scary as hell, through school up till 16 i was bullied about my size and told i was ugly and all that...but i made a concious effort to be happy with myself. Up bringing is part of it but it is totally about yourself getting yourself out of any insecurities. I get laughed at now for how i look and act, but i know that that is who i am and don't care. When i was younger i did care. Theres no point people making excuses saying that its up bringing. Sometimes honesty in saying i am insecure because i am not because of the world is an important step.

 

"There's no point people making excuses saying that it's upbringing".
Of course there is , it's called self-defence. You have to learn that the only way forward is to accept the past and decide to be different. It takes some people a lot longer than others to be able to do that.
Yes, everyone needs to take personal responsibility for their own feelings, but have a bit of compassion for those people who can't yet do that.

 

This post wasn't about compassion though. Compassion is important but in a post where people are trying to work out "why the female low self esteem? " then you need to speak bluntly. Maybe i am cold hearted but im happy how i am