A Question For Women: What If the Man You Have a Crush On is Bisexual?

I don't see how being proud of something like race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or gender would imply that the other individual should be ashamed for not possessing those same qualities. I am proud of life's experiences that have helped me amount to who I am and part of that stems from my physical, psychologial, sexual, political, and even geographical being.

Take deaf pride: The implication is not that the individual is happy to be disabled, but that this disability has shaped the individual and added to the content of one's character. Ergo, deaf pride does not celebrate deafness, but what deafness has made the individual: We can only hope, a stronger person has been formed and a source of personal strength that would not have been otherwise required has stemmed from what most would consider less than perfect foundations. This IS something to be proud of.

 

Skeeter, although I always regarded myself as gay, really examining myself I know now I always had bisexual potential. The fantasies would erupt now and then, I loved straight porn, etc. So fundamentally I am a bisexual man, not gay. So it is not like I sero-converted or anything. I believe sexuality is set at an early age, but that "set" can be rigid or it can be fluid. In my case it has turned out to be more fluid than I imagined. Now that I am entering a new part of my life, circumstances and feelings have changed, I am now emphasizing my heterosexual side. I am not even close to having a girlfriend, but I am really feeling over the next few years I feel I will become more heterosexual in my orientation.

I hate the thought of being red meat for the religious right. This is not "proof" of anything they blather about. I have no anti-gay agenda or any agenda for anyone but myself. It's all normal. I wish my gay friends could be a little more positive about my wanting to be a heterosexual behaving male now.

 

It would depend on the situation.

I would definitely get tested.

 

that's being proud of yourself as a person. not being proud of deafness. it is a big difference. being proud of who you are is one thing, but being proud of an arbitrary factor of yourself is silly. being fully gay is just something you are. not something to be proud of. now being brave enough to live openly and in full acceptance of that is entirely different, and deserving of a great deal of self-esteem for your demonstration of strength in the face of opposition.

 

I would def marry em .. wink ...wink

 

I'm really having fun, so I hope you don't mind, KC. (You're fun and good to debate with; you're intelligent and challenging.) Isn't a person a sum of their traits and experiences? If you were born a black, blind, gay man, wouldn't you be a different person with different reasons to be proud?

Maybe we can both agree that reaching beyond what are perceived as limitations is worthy of pride and celebration?

 

There's no reason for you to feel guilty about coming out bi. I sure as hell don't. I'm at that stage in my life where I don't give a damn WHAT the Religious Right says...They cannot make me 100 percent heterosexual and there's not a damn thing they can say or do to change that. And if those right-wing Bible-thumpers don't like it, they can go fuck themselves.

Ditto for the "queer ghetto" separatists who demand that I be 100 percent homosexual. . .Fuggeddabowdit! It ain't gonna happen and there's nothing THEY can do about it, either. And if the "queer ghetto" separatists don't like it, they can go fuck themselves, too.

Don't let anybody -- whether the right-wing Bible-thumpers or the left-wing "queer ghetto" separatists -- deprive you of your dignity and self-respect. If they don't like you for being bisexual, tell 'em to go fuck themselves.

-- Skeeter

 

no, i think this is fun, so i don't mind at all. some people take it too seriously when all i really wanna do is chew on some mental bubblegum.

anyway, not everyone who is born black will choose the right path. not everyone who goes blind will bravely triumph over adversity. not everyone who is bi will be comfortable with that. these little factors are thing about us that just ARE. i don't define myself by my attraction to men and women, i define myself by my ability to be honest and open about it, even when friends look at me like i'm kinda gross. they can't help that they're NOT okay with bisexual sex, but they can be proud that they got over it and are not longer thinking that every time they take their clothes off i'm perving on them.

so what i'm saying is no matter what different aspects of living the universe throws at us, ultimately it's not those factors that we should be proud of, but rather what we do with them. so what if you have lemons if you just let them rot, right? make some freaking lemonade, or lemon meringue pie, it's up to you.