I need to vent about how I love my boyfriend, but he fucking drives my crazy with how unemotional he is. I've dated him for a year and a half and he has never gotten angry with me....well not that he admitts to me. I never seen him the least bit sad about something,or totally worry about something beyond believe, and well I'm starting think that he has 2 emotions happy and blah (meaning no expression at all). HOW BORING??? I feel as though he feels its too much work/trouble to get worked up about anything, or get real passionate about something. Guys have passion and opinions right? Its just I feel like I have to work so hard on trying to spark up meaty convo with him when I don't feel like it should take that much effort. We've been 2gether for a while now and so I've asked him if he was bored with me, or annoyed with me, or just didn't feel connection with me anymore but when I mentioned that he felt like that came from like out of no where. I feel like he doesn't take a stand on much b/c that would be work, he'd actually have to explain himself and having emotions about stuff well I think he feels thats a waist of time. He sometimes blames it on the fact that hes just a lazy guy, but i'm not buying it. My bf and I, I know we love to being 2gether, were buds & have a healthy sex life, but I want to continue to love to be with him..... Can anyone give me any insight on my frustration?
wellllll.... i could go into a long one-sided discussion over the psychology or relationships and love styles... (i've been studying this all day) and tell you that your partner and you have differing love styles. you like passion and intense emotion whereas he has more of an easygoing nature, comfortable probably. *sigh* some ppl express their love differently, and some ppl just don't have such intense varying emotions... at least he is happy and blah, and not depressed and blah. imagine how shitty it would be for him to never be happy.... or express excitement over anything.... if you really can't stand it and he annoys the hell out of you, you may want to rethink your relationship, but i would suggest trying to learn how he thinks and feels, because he does have emotions... everybody has emotions and opinions (well for the most part)... just some express it differently and/or their emotions don't vary as widely.. boy, i feel very repetitive. sorry... hope that helped...
You know the old adage, 'How come there aren't any sensitive, emotional guys out there that like to share their feelings', because 'they already have boyfriends' I'm not saying that's true, but men are wired differently. I'm 29 and still have a difficult time expressing my emotions. It doesn't mean that I don't have them for my girlfriend, its just that in this society guys are trained from birth to 'be strong' or whatever. Its not an easy thing for a guy to open up. I'm sure many woman feel like you do. Whether or not you have been with him for a while or not doesn't always mean that its time for him to open up the way you wish he would. Sure the longer your with someone the more comfortable you become, but every guy is different, and I'd suggest that you just be patient with him and when he shows signs of opening up, encourage it and show your appreciation for it, instead of focusing on the times that he doesn't and putting him in the penalty box for it.
I'm not saying by any means that I want him to dump all these emotions out about stuff....i like having a man whos the rock in the relationship. But if I ask him what he thinks about claims or which italian resturant is best ....he famously says "i don't feel one way or another about any of it"....come on now, u can't tell me that all guys are like that? and if they are god help me!
HAHA that sounded like something I would say a few years ago. How old is your bf? Maybe he just is in a phase or something. I was that way my whole life up untill about 17 or 18. I don't know why I changed, it just sort of happened. Like I didn't have a favorite color, movie or anything because everything was practically not important. Maybe he'll change. I don't know if I helped at all.
omg, that sounds like ME, stuntdragon^^ wow. and i'm not a guy either. the past few years i've slowly started caring more about things... maybe he IS just in a phase, or maybe he really doesn't care about certain things. it might just take time for him to find something that he is passionate about, but some things just aren't worth feeling passionate about (restaurants for example... i could never feel too passionate about where to go eat, though i have gotten pickier about what i spend my money on...) my brother is also this way... he lets ppl take advantage of him sometimes because he really doesn't care to stop it or make a fuss... it's just not worth it to him.
it took me a very long time to learn to express any emotions at all. dave had to work very hard on me just to make sure that i had any. a lifetime of abuse and neglect (not just by family) kinda shuts you off, and once you've built that wall to protect yourself, you're kinda stuck there. it really takes the right person to pull you out. my first love couldn't do it, and that makes me sad for him. but if you're looking at this like it's an inconvenience, rather than the profoundly crippled emotions they may be, then you may not be the one.
Thanks guys for the response! I feel alot better about the situation. I don't want anyone to think though that he is not an awesome bf just b/c I'm annoyed with one aspect of his personality. He treats me like a queen and we have great mutual respect for each other. My bf is 17 and I think he still has tons of room to grow as a person (as do I) and its prob. like some of u guys said....a PHASE. He's also been under alot of stress lately, so he tends to be even more apathetic with his self expression.
When you're togehter a lot and you two don't have decent, interesting conversations, then something is wrong. Your guy might not be a keeper. good luck.
I am pretty sensitive and emotional but, I have troubles opening-up a lot of times......... not with anger though........ your boyfriend doesn't get angry? maybe he's afraid of his emotions so he suppresses them?
yeah. i have no doubt he loves you and feels very strongly for you. expressing things like that is just next to impossible for a lot of people.
