"...fairly interesting and exciting past. Most, I'm sure she wouldn't allow me to elaborate on...." Oh, why not, Hip is anonymous, and several of us have. Remember, "no harm, no foul".
Some of which could be considered degrading and embarrassing to her. I will only tell what I assume won't make her embarrassed in a bad way.
"...which could be considered degrading and embarrassing to her...." When I post, as I have, about my wifes experience, before the 'us' time, it could very easily be seen, and I agree, as your 'degrading', or for mine to me 'abuse'. Nonetheless, it is what led her to me and our now 39 yrs together. We grow from all of it. "...what I assume won't make her embarrassed..." Gentlemanly of you, but remember, all this on Hip is anonymous. My wife has no idea of what I've talked about, and that's perfectly fine. All women have 'pasts'. Some quite sporty or frisky. But they're now more mature and in a solid relationship, so, "No harm, No foul." We all have pasts. But that was back then, and simply fun to talk about now.
I always wanted to marry a virgin but my wife was not. I told her she should have waited for me - she said she was sorry and wished she'd kept it for me but I don't think she meant it. When she talks about it she makes jokes and seems proud of it - doesn't show any signs of being sorry or regretting any of it. She also said I made her feel like shit for the way I talked about her past. I thought I was gentle - I didn't say half the things I wanted to say about it. The number has blown up massively which also hurts - at first she told me there had been three boyfriends and a couple of one night stands so I thought her number was 5. Then I heard stories from her mother and friends about two or three more so that put it at 8. I figured out from stories she told when we were out with friends that the first "boyfriend" she told me about couldn't have been the one she lost her virginity to because it happened a year or two earlier so there was one or two (or more) others before him and one or two more after so now I'm thinking it's 12. Earlier this year she told me that there was a period of time that - in her words - "it didn't matter who he was". I'm pretty sure what happened was after she broke up with her first long term b/f who was the love of her life she was devastated and followed the adage that the way to get over someone is to get under someone so took guys home from bars regularly - I don't think she knows how many. Maybe every Friday and Saturday for a month, maybe every night of the week for two years - I don't know. So the truth is I could be number 100 for all I know. That's a hell of a disappointment since it was 5 when I married her. I know it shouldn't matter but it does - I hate it! I hate the fact that she's reluctant to have sex with me but there was a time when sex was exciting and she was a willing and enthusiastic partner to guys she barely knew and who had to sacrifice nothing to have her. I forego my needs a thousand times a day and get an impassive frankly bored partner who just lies there while I do all the work.
Partner, you're in the same boat as many of us are. Welcome to the group. Though most of us have gotten over the "I hate it" part, and now take a larger overview position. "...an impassive frankly bored partner who just lies there..." Yeah, well now that's a tricky situation. A good way to deal with it seems to be to just talk among your peers, like this. It's a real safety valve. If you read back the 5 pages with 10 or so posts on each one, you'll see you're not alone on this, and it can be a bit of a release to share 'her private stories' with others. "No harm, No foul."
I totally get what you're saying. I am new to the site though. Baby steps, I guess. I may see some things of her past as less compromising as time goes on and I feel I can speak more freely.
Most people on hip are more open minded. There can be men who feel it is fine for men to sleep around, but not women. When my girlfriend told me she wanted to experience other men, I didn't mind, because I was playing around. Mainly because I was on the road for work.
Interesting to hear of the wives who are willing to share their pasts. My wife gave me numbers, but not much else. She likes to keep things to herself. My ex wife likes to share stories of her conquests after we separated. She was quite promiscuous, and I enjoy hearing her exploits. I learned that she became a size queen, and that she enjoyed the thrill of multiple partners. She said that she found it so satisfying that she didn't think she could settle down with just one partner. After about 5 years of slutting around, she did remarry. Unfortunately for her, he is relatively small and won't let her have any on the side. He has no idea about her promiscuous past nor the fact that she was an active and bold exhibitionist * for a number of years. When they first married they lived in an area in which she had practiced her hobby for 4 or 5 years. She said that when they were out, she lived in fear of someone recognizing her and making a comment to them about seeing her naked. Most women over the age of about 20 have a past. Some have a bigger past than others. Some are willing to talk about it, and others are not. My wife and my ex wife represent opposite ends of the spectrum. _____ * She is Jean in the Exhibitionist Women thread.
My wife's past is a turn on for me. She definitely had her fun. She is a preachers daughter and it's true what they say. She went to college out of state and as soon as she hit the dorm it was go time for her. She had been with 2 guys in HS but by the time she came back for Christmas break that first year she thinks her number was close to 10. She is 55 now and doesn't regret any of the fun she had.
There is nothing wrong with a sexually confident woman. You only live once and we live life to the fullest.
Absolutely! You only regret what you didn't do. I love her stories from her single days so I wish her number was 100.
My girlfriend lost her virginity with her husband. She had done a lot of blowjobs before that. Her husband ended up cheating on her and then they separated. I had my wife cheat on me and then we split too. She went through a phase just like i did when i was separated and we both were out just having sex with anyone we could. We just wanted to get off and with anyone willing. We both lost count with how many people we had, i didnt even stop at girls i had sex with many men too. My girlfriend and i met when we were done with the promiscuous stage. We just wanted to settle down. So we have done our adventurous stuff with strangers. It does mean we are more adventurous with each other though.
I married a widow.. I was 30 years old... No need for details, frank discussions help, play by play hurt, build futures not pasts.
