From monday to saturday, god smoked all his stash

And on the 7th day, he scraped the resin from his pipe and smoked that

 

Then he made the specks of weed on his desk the most precious things on earth

 

Too bad i want to get a new job and need to pass a piss test soon or i would be lighting up like a christmas tree

 

And after he bless'd them, he smoke'd them, and he said bless'd be thy stoned mind, human

 

LMAO I just wrote that in my theology notebook which the teacher checks at the end of each semster. I hate theology so much, the teacher being a massive douche is responsible for that.

 

lol they only check it once a semester?

 

Whatever you do for petes sake never stop smoking the good herb. no matter what. not for our sake. but for posterity. please!

 

why would we?

 

And then the lord did declare, let it be cashed. And it was cashed, and the people didst gnash their teath and curse their god, for it was cashed.
And then the lord said unto his people: "Buildst me a bong, no macguyver shitty-duct tape bong, but a nice one, with a slide carb and not one of those little holes that never work, and then i'll pack another one."
And the people didst rejoice, and they didst smoketh the green, and it was good. a little shaky, but without seedsth and stems.

 

the lord was blitzed. this, he said, was good.

 

mine has a carb not a slide and i get monster hits off that fucker.



and the lord thanked his bong-building people, and said "i give unto you a great gift, you are my chosen ones"

 

But after such a holy session, God's people were in strife, for their eyes were the colour of Christ's blood. So god lifted his arms to the heavens, and the clouds parted and rained Visine down on his children.

 

I myself don't subscribe to the theory of creation; I am an evolutionist. We humans are the product of millions of years of evolution, and we're going to need about a million more years until we get it right. When that happens, all mankind will be enlightened and at peace.


Until then, we need marijuana to compensate.

 

godammit newo you just had to ruin it didnt you? good one........

 

and god smiteth the darwinian people, and said to them, 'hear me, those who believe you come from monkeys! Thou shant slander the name of the plant any more! The plant came from my heart and not from cabbage!'

but the people knew better and closed the church and smoked some more doobster

 

C'mon, you really think stoner is the highest form of evolution?
sides, we were just havin a little sacreligious fun...

 

And what did you think I was having? Hey, either way we've got both bases covered...either God created weed and saw that it was good, or weed evolved side by side with humans in order to fill a niche...to not legalize it is either unholy or unnatural!

 

you could have at least continued the story too

and Gods chosen people got cocky with their new found plant, They shared it with angels and the angels too became cocky. God Cast The Angels who had partaken in his gift to the people down into hell, and cast the humans out of the Garden Of Weeden to forever scanvenge the earth for shady dealers and less potent buds.

 

and the people found that if they really wanted to be stoned, they had to smoke a buttload of these crappy buds. they found also that smoking so much can leadeth to abnormal sounds whilst breathing. wheezeth, choketh, and shwaaaag. so the people decided to call the shitty buds schwag, as it was the most amusing oft hese sounds

 

How many carbs does a joint have, i'm on a diet.