Age gaps... lets discuss it

Ok, i started a post earlier about a possible relationship I may begin with a 15 year old, im 18. However this isn't about me, im curious what everyone thinks of age gaps in relationships? How old is too old? What age should ppl not date older ppl and when is it ok to be with a much younger person? Is a girl going out with a much younger guy less scary then a guy going out with a much younger girl? etc etc. Just speak your mind and share experiences concerning this subject. Peace

 

It's really subjective and depends on a ton of factors: what the ages are, how mature each person is, the motives and intentions, etc etc.

A, say, 13 year old dating a 17 year old is only a 4 year age difference, but it wouldn't work because the two people are at such different stages in life and have such different maturity levels. At the same time, a 22 year old dating a 26 year old would be ok with the same age difference.

..Just keep it legal.

I always date older guys. I tend to be more mature than the average 17 year old guy and so I really hate dating people my own age (with a few exceptions). I don't know how much older of a guy I would date at this point in my life, but when I'm in my 20s I know I would have no problem dating someone in his 30s or early 40s if there was attraction and chemistry.

 

I think in the teenage years an age gap is much greater & should be treated with more caution than later on... the older you get, the less difference it makes. I wouldn't worry at all if I met a guy three years younger or older than me, but I think between 15 & 18 there's a pretty large gap still. When you're a teenager, there are just so many experiences, there's so much learning to do yet, often you'll think you're think you know it all and just one year later you'll find out that well, you didn't
But people still grow up at different rates, and often girls seem to grow up a little faster than guys... I'd never say never...

One thing to remember though is the law; I wouldn't ever risk getting into a relationship with an underage person when it's against the law. Of course, laws have drawn a line somewhere and there's nothing magical happening at midnight on your birthday... if it's illegal for someone over 18 to have sex with someone who is under 16, but you've just turned 18 and she's almost 16, then I don't personally think that those few months are 'criminal' or anything... The spirit of the law is more a general thing to protect teenagers from sexual predators, older folks just looking for an easy lay. But it makes you very vulnerable; if it's illegal for you to be with her anyone who knows and gets pissed off at you can cause you major legal trouble, even if she loves you and wants to have a relationship.

 

You're watching me no matter which PC I use...*c*

Thx for the IP callout .

 

I was 17 when i started dating my boyfriend who was 23. We didn't have a problem but than it wasn't a problem with my parents either. I think if the maturatiy level is there than its ok. It might be a little sketchy if she is only 15, once she hits 16 it doesn't seem like a big deal. I'm not sure why that is it just sound so much older.

 

i'm 23 and I like around about 30-35. I like people my same age for friends but I'm just rarely attracted to guys my own age.

 

i was in a relationship with a 21 year old man when i was 16. we were together about nine months and i loved him very much, but it turns out he had emotional and mental problems and was hospitalized, forcing us to break up.

it was a really hard thing to go through because, while very mature for someone my age and VERY capable of feeling very deep feelings for another human being, i was still going through a lot of changes, and maybe being in a serious relationship with ANYONE at the time, let alone someone 5 years older, was not something i needed...especially because the relationship ended in such a tragic way...it only complicated my life further.

but, there is a happy ending. i got into a rebound relationship after that with someone who was even older than him, but after realizing that it wasn't a good idea, i broke it off and became single for a few years and had a bitchin' time. then i met dario, my fiance', and we hit it off perfectly and have been madly in love since i've never loved anyone like i love him...he's awesome. and he's 7 years older than me...since we are both adults, the age difference is not even noticable...unless we talk about the 80's...heehee. it's kinda funny...he was a senior in high school when i was in the 5th grade...but since we are both adults, that doesn't matter. it would have mattered a LOT when i was 15 and he was 22.

so, my point is, a girl of 15 is very capable of feeling VERY deep feelings for someone, BUT, even if she is wise beyond her years, it may not be the best thing to start a relationship with her at this time in her life...in a couple years, it wouldn't be such a big deal...

 

i think you should be very careful. i was in this same situation. i am a girl and i started dating this guy that was 19 when i was 14. okay so that may not seem very bad right. no, wrong... this guy was way more mature than i was. we both thought, or atleast i did,at that time, that the relationship was okay because i was "mature". we ended up spending way too much time with eachother. i got to see what life was like as an early adult at a very young age. i ended up spending all my time with this guy and eventually i never spent time with anyone else! not even girl friends. he introduced me to many different drugs that i would never have done if i hadn't met him. which was negative. you also have to consider that she is just developing who she is and you have to let take place! i think that by being in a relationship with older men at a young age really inlfuences who you will become. so you have to be very careful. Do not be that guy that is the bad influence in her life.

 

it all depends on the person

at 16 I was ready for a long term relationship and for living on my own and supporting myself.

I would have to be really good friends with a guy who was younger to trust him to be mature enough to handle me. I would expect an older guy to feel me out just the same.

 

I think older men have learned from their mistakes in past relationships and know what they want and know how to make others happy and let others make them happy. Personally it's healthier for me to date a lot older things go a lot smoother in general and usually by the time somone's in their thirties they're over all the drama and the games and can have a real relationship.

 

yeah it really does depend on the individual.

 

I'm 24, my boyfriend is 34. We've been together nearly 2.5 years and we love eachother very much. The only times I really notice the gap between us is when he refers to movies/tv shows from back the 70s and I'm clueless to what he's referring to. Or when he says stuff like -"Oh, in 1988 when I was 18..." - and I'm thinking - "...and I was 8....ew...." - that's about it.

I'll admit, the age thing definately bugged me at first. He looks like he's still in his 20s, so the truth was a shock in the beginning. But...he treats me better than ANY guy I've ever been with and I'm convinced that it's because he's older & wiser and is finished sowing his wild oats.

 

Haha thats the bit that always grosses me out, i could never go out with a guy thats old enough to be my dad *shudders*.

My cousin went out with this woman who was the same age as his mum, that was abit weird but his mum was kool with it.

As for me, I've only really ben with guys who are the same age as me or older by about a couple of months to a year. But at the moment I really like this guy who is about 2-3 years younger then me but amazingly is at, what seems like, the same maturity level as I am, hes very mature for a 15 yr old thats for sure
(i.e in his spare time, he does school work or talks quitely about things or something like that when other people his age are sitting there being dicks and trying to get other ppls attention by trying to be bad-asses) which is probably why im atracted to him, and i think hes hot as hell too! I've always been the 1 who would say "I would never like someone who is 2 yrs younger then me ever! It just wouldnt work and besides, I cant even have a proper conversation with a 15 yr old, why the hell would I wana go out with one???" (an arguement I had with one of my guy mates lol)

But i've never really liked anyone his age EVER so i dont think age is particularly the matter, its the maturity of the person and how well you 'click' with them ( and at the adolecent stage, the parents).