i think i might be falling in love with this girl i just met

first thing she tells me today is how it has been so long since she has done anything she feels like a virgin she is so tight. then there was this guy she used to be friends with years ago and is trying to get her to hang and she was complaining how she thinks he just wants to have sex with her. so she was telling me one minute how she is not in the right space for a relationship or sex right now. she just needs a friend for now and she tested him and she told him she started her period (which she didn't) and all of the sudden he claimed he didnt want to hang out because well he has to get up early tomorrow. she is real upset because she told him about her past sexual assault issues and well this guy has been a friend for years and suddenly was trying to get with her. i told her date a man. i really wish i was single because i have moved on from the age difference it no longer means shit to me but being married is the big issue. it is just a number at this point. i legit care so much for her. i have been fighting within myself for awhile about it. as far as the sex issue i wouldnt push her she has been nearly 2 years inactive (previously i though it was about a year). hypothetically even if she came hard onto me i would make her wait 3 dates minimum and even then i would limit it to touching and maybe oral on her (not me). frankly i'd rather have her fall in love with me than anything and not on any false pretenses either. she is literally the only person in the world i would ever consider leaving my wife for. no exes, no celebrities only k. she is the cutest thing i have ever seen, and it is not because she is 23 and i am 40 (and not some weird fantasy/fetish thing). then i got the older ladies working with me always saying things like "you two have so much chemistry", "if you saw her out of work clothes she is tight and perky...", and today when she was complaining to the one lady about how she hates guys she immediately in front of me tells her how great i am. i think of a day where i wake up and she is the first thing i see in the morning and the last thing i see at night and i call that my fantasy. just to hold her, hug her, kiss her, and just tell her how i really feel about her. if only she saw herself the way i see her everyday. i pray for "k" every single night when i lay in bed and it started with her and her blood tests. i knew she was stressed and frankly i grew very fond of her and i actually told her the one day i think it was the end of december that i dont know where you stand with God and stuff but i am going to pray for you tonight (or i did the night before and would again tonight). that was the first time i prayed at night in a very long time at least right before bed. it began to just be about that but then when she had her scare with her back in january. i didnt even wait that night i went into the bathroom on my break like 15 minutes after she left and i prayed. i was so worried about her i left her a note and all i wanted to do was take her pain away. when she told me about the sexual assault i cried on the way home and i never cry over anything (although my mom was a victim of a rape when i was a baby in the next room and that is a real trigger for me). i laid in bed and cried that night as and after i prayed for her. about a month or so ago i began asking if there is a chance for something with "k" even with my current situation to let it happen and i even apologized that i know it is wrong but my heart is so fragile right now. then there was the week we got our hours all cut (and she was promised a promotion and a raise) and she called me in the office crying and i could tell she was even if she disguised it. i knew i had to try and comfort her. so we talked in the back for awhile and then i went shopping with her. i tried to excuse myself. ok not really but i was like it was been 45 minutes and you have a cart full and my basket has 1 thing. i had her from crying to laughing and frankly that made my day. the following week leading up to the schedule i prayed for both of our hours to be increased but if only one of us gets the bump it is her. you know she got all her hours back and while i only went up 1 hour that week i felt so happy for her. she had a chiropractor appt i believe about 2 weeks ago and she was stressed and she came in to get her schedule and i couldnt make it over to see her but i saw her limping and i know she was in pain. i knew something wasnt right. the nurturer in me wants to always help make her feel better" when hurt her hand and it started swelling up i didn't even think about what i was doing i just grabbed her hand held it with one and and rubbed it with the other and i only stopped because i knew i had a frozen bottle of water in the freezer i wanted to put on her hand until she got off break. her hand was much better the next day. so anyways i brought her in her favorite starbucks drink that morning and she drops a bomb on me: "i going to have to quit". i had a complete fucking meltdown. the next 5 hours of my day my stomach hurt, i would tear up, i would have to run to the bathroom. the one girl i work with asked me if i have covid. i pretended to play that i was blowing my nose every 5 minutes on it "being cold" and "sinuses". i was legit having a panic attack about this girl who i really care about is leaving. literally nothing could help me. i tried watching funny youtube video in the bathroom and nothing helped i just felt empty. i would look over to where i usually see her and she wasnt there and i would think well once she leaves that will be my everyday and i cant stop tearing up. then i look out towards my car and her little car is parked near it with a picture of her dog on it and then i thought well soon i wont be seeing that either and i feel my eyes dripping. then i see her where she usually is and i didnt just tear up i started crying and my nose was running and wearing a neck gaiter that it not pleasant so i excused myself to the bathroom as i gathered myself i just let myself cry and once i was done i slapped myself in the face and go "listen this isnt about you and if you really care about "k" you would want her to do what is best for her". i wash my hands rinse my eyes out and go back to work. shortly after i am on my 2nd break and "k" just comes in and we sat and chilled and talked and despite one of the worst 5 hour spans i can remember i was able to talk to her about it and i actually talked without breaking down. she only had one offer and it is in the ghetto near my house but it pays a bit more than her current job but hours were not guaranteed from what i understand. however being the person i am i offer to ride along with her if she didnt feel safe but she decided against it.

finish the rest later...

 

Take your wife to your bosses house party. Pre arrange with a hot guy to seduce and fuck her there. Get her very very drunk and dissappear then let the guy try it on with her. Then get into Kate

 

so she was supposed to be on vacation this coming week and work messed up her schedule and she is usually off thursday but comes in to see her schedule even if she works friday and/or saturday. i knew she wouldnt come in so i just happened to run into her best friend in the break room about 130pm and i told her and she called her. i felt bad ruining her day but she has real bad anxiety so i figured it was better for her to know ahead of time. so i left her one of my notes i leave her but then i come up from the back and i see her. we end up just talking for about an hour and again she shows up right as i am getting off work and happened to be getting a few things. she even jokes what am i even getting and why did i even come here today? it used to be she was real lowkey about us but we get in the same line and i let her go first and when she gets her stuff she says "im going to wait for you" so i check out and we walk out together the cashier says "you 2 have a good night" (and winks). i wave to the manager lady who knows/thinks she is mad into me. we walk out and it had on and off snowed all day and my car has ice and shit and this girl goes oh yeah i thought i parked in front of your car. i tease her that be careful walking on the ice because you know i'm not going to let you get hurt here again (hurt her back last year) and be careful going home. my car doors all freeze over and i am having a hard time getting in and i can see she is in her car side eyeing me and wouldnt leave until i got in the car and got it started up. yesterday was just on and off flirting and she keeps coming into my breaks and sitting down with me even when she is not on break. if something is too heavy instead of asking someone in her department she comes and gets me. granted i told her to come get me anytime you need help (although i said that like the first day we met but i did say that agian yesterday morning) and frankly i fucking love it. i want her to want me and need me.

so yesterday we worked together essentially all day and she keeps finding ways to interact with me. only weird thing is usually i stop by to see if she wants something on my break and she turned me down and that was the 2nd time in a row. i am overthinking everything. after her shift she went into the office and i am looking at her and she waves at me across the way and i wave back. angry bitch in the office who has been trying to keep us from being close like she has badmouthed kate to me and how not to trust her and stuff. well i walked up to the office and i know she was trying to request off days and i know how to do it and the angry bitch in the office gets mad when i tell her i can do it (and i can) but really it was just a way to help "k". angry cant figure it out so she calls the boss lady and she attempts to fix it. boss lady used to be friends with my wife years ago but they dont really talk anymore (not really important to this story but it is in the grand scheme of things). anyways kate comes over to me and i take care of other stuff for her and this 17 yr old dude who works with us comes over at the end of our 15 minute conversation/transaction. he goes "you going to hit that pussy, right? a little pedo though" i fire back "bro she is 23 almost 24. yeah i am married but there is nothing saying if we wanted to that we couldn't ". dude has flirted with her before and he knows shes cute and if she showed that kind of interest in him he'd be all about it. he just kind of nods at me like.

since they messed up her schedule she still has to work sunday and monday when she was supposed to be off for vacation but is off the rest of the week. i feel bad for her but i am kind of excited i get to see her my entire shift on monday.

 

so i got to work with her today. her last day before her vacation. poor girl has got a sinus cold she told me she was feeling it coming on thursday night when she came in after my shift. she always tells me i think i might be getting sick but i think it is her anxiety plus she works in a cold/hot environment and wearing a mask can mess with you. well before work today i originally was going to get her her favorite starbucks drink but i thought being a little more practical. i brought her in this hemp lotion as she has a bad back and i thought with her getting a week to relax it might help. i have some and i use it on my neck, knees and so on and it works pretty good. really though i just want her all week to think of me though. i mean i hope it works great for her but the selfish bit of me wants her to think about me. the last week she has been acting weird about me getting her stuff. like our work is real anal about buying stuff on the clock. back in the end of november she had an episode and she was just in the hospital and the other woman working was getting all up in her shit. i could tell something was wrong and i stepped in and ask her if she was ok and she explained the scenario and i just happened to be suffering from a really bad case of food poisoning that day. anyways back to more recent times one day she gave me her debit card and i bought her a candy bar when i went on break. she gets low blood sugar and can pass out. so many times i just would buy her favorite candy bar and put in in her locker sometimes with a note and sometimes without. well usually i would ask her and she would want something. well i noticed after last week's reveal of her sexual drought and the same day i complimented how nice she looked with her eyelashes everytime i offered to get her something she is like "no i'm ok" or "thanks but no thanks". i told her i got her something for her time off. she looked at me confused and i told her what it was. when i told her it was hemp lotion i think she thought it was really expensive and was like i will try it out and bring it back what i don't use. i'm like you don't have to do that because first it wasn't that expensive and two i have my own and i got this specifically for you. her tone completely changed the rest of the day. when i got off work she was in the break room and i gave it to her and it got super awkward and we were both being really flirty and it seemed like we were both having a hard time balancing the flirting and the "play it cool". i just wish she had her apartment already because i could rub her back, neck and her foot (that was hurting her) and draw her a hot bath. i have never seen anything like this in my 40 years. she can be pitiful and be literally the cutest fucking thing ever. i saw her grab a paper towel to wipe her nose so i went into the office and brought her 2 kleenex's. then i did it a 2nd time and then i told her use a kleenex i don't want you to become rudolph. i went and grabbed 2 more and she never needed them again except when she came from the back and her glasses were fogged up and i said come here and i handed her a kleenex and she takes her glasses off and wipes them off and looks like she is about to cry and goes "thank you" and smiles.

i sit here tonight and i am feeling all kinds of ways. i just always feel like things happen for a reason and i never would have met "k" if it wasn't for so many weird different things to make it fall in place. i very much love my wife but "k" makes me feel like a whole different level. all night i have sat with her and i even told her about my day and mentioned "k" at least half a dozen times but did not mention the lotion. also i have lost about 35 pounds since i have been working at this place in november and i haven't been this light since 2007. i was always pretty skinny growing up but the year i turned 30 i really just gained weight and couldn't keep it off (really began gaining the previous 2 years but at slower rate). i tried different diets over the past 8-10 ish years and i would lose 10, 15 maybe 20 pounds but then gain it all back and then some. i don't work out but my job is very active and i drink a lot of water and i cut back on the little pop i drink but haven't really been a big pop drinker for years. are my thoughts/feelings for "k" raising my testosterone levels and/or changing my metabolism?

 

i'm about to go into work this afternoon for a short shift and i am feeling really off. i know she is going to be off and i won't see her until at least a week from now. she did tell me in the break room yesterday that i will "probably see her" before she comes back. i don't expect to see her until maybe thursday to come get her schedule.

 

i was talking to my boss after work and she just randomly mentioned my girl "k" and how the owner wants to give her the promotion. our big contract is coming up in the next few weeks and i think they might give this dude the axe. either that or she is playing me as a bait for "k" but i dont think this lady is that smart. i asked her if she needs me to go over there (with "k") i would be willing but we just lost 2 employees in our department. however i got royally dicked over in the beginning of feb. we had this great system and i was slowly moving up and the work environment was pretty good. then they bring in this prick from my old store as a spy and/or narc. my boss (the lady that hired me still behind the owner and senior manager) brought in her best friend and now this guy. they are trying to set in motion the new ppl vs the old ppl drama and i dont play that. about a month ago they tried to intimidate me because i have been helping out the other employees and i have several times for "k". last time boss lady got shitty with me saying "dont bother me off the clock". i was trying to get my girl "k" get the time off she needs and frankly boss lady messes up that kind of stuff a lot. so the next day boss lady (with her best friend lets call her "minion") comes in and directly heads over to me and said "its not until may." "i am like yeah i understand that but it is important to her and i told her i would let you know and i didnt want to wait til the next day because i might forget (plus i know "k" can be intimidated by her). so "k" just happens to be around and boss lady in front of me goes to k "you got him (me) yelled at last night" in an attempt to shame her in front of me. boss lady didnt know i ran it by "k" first thing in the morning. i told k she gave me attitude when i reached out to her last night but dont worry i always got your back and if i get bitched at for helping you thats fine i am a big boy and i can take it. a few minutes later i ran into her in the break room and i saw "k" and i told her you can come to me anytime for anything here i dont care what anyone says or does. later boss lady tells me she was joking about the text and that she was drunk.

"minion" is a weird one she was super nice to both myself and "k" when i first started. then as "k" and i got closer and worked together a lot the first month "minion" started badmouthing her to me. "k" is my number 1 there i have a few other ppl i am tight with. that is who my wife is/was worried about and i have been told by several other ppl that they think she is "into me" and sees "k" as a direct threat so she tried to break up our friendship by telling me "k" is not to be trusted. i am a pretty smart guy and i read right through it because by this time (late nov/early dec) i already have feelings for "k" and i bring it back up later like "why do you think "k" is sketchy" and she skirts around it and it comes down to "k" being bullied by this woman in the department she used to work in but asked to move over a year before "minion" even started working there. minion asks me do you think this lady could be mean? i said "anyone could be mean at anytime and "k" is a young, soft-spoken girl." "k" had told me before that that something happened that got her out of that dept. i trusted "k" over minion. however i had ppl tell me how mean this woman was to "k" in the past and other ppl who had similar issues with her. i knew it hit a boiling point when i was talking about "k" going to her dr's appt and how she was really worried and i told her i would pray for her. minion just says "if the bitch didnt drink so much pop maybe she wouldnt have diabetes". very revealing. also "k" does not have diabetes and very possibly could be hypoglacemic. her tests came back negative. the hate became real with "minion" for "k". she tried to get me to scold "k" over something really stupid and considering she has zero authority over "k" makes it even weirder. then she bashed "k" for having a "girls body" to me because "k" is skinny and apparently being skinny makes you not a woman, wtf. she then bashed her when "k" and i got a rave review online for when we helped a customer right before Christmas (her by name me by description). minion lamented "it was probably someone from her (k's) stupid family." recently the past week or so before "k" went on vacation "minion" tried to be nicer to her at least to her face. however last friday when "k" came over to help me minion was behind us (watching) and i swear she was sighing and groaning as the two of as laughed and talked for a good 20 minutes to half hour. this is just another piece to this weird puzzle.

 

***double post***

 

got to see her pretty little face today. even if it was for a short time. again if only she could see herself the way i see her.

 

so tuesday i got to work with her nearly all day. there is more to it than that. well she was off the past week and she has been trying to get me over in her department and i have pushed for it too. a week ago yesterday boss lady had a discussion with me and K came up about how they wanted to promote her. this is all info K told me about 2 months ago. so she just happened to come in and we talked for a few minutes and i said i need to talk to you about something. so i briefly told her. i pitched to boss lady that if they need help over there (K's dept) i can go over there and she shot me down saying we are short ppl and are losing ppl in our department so no. well the thing is i pitched to another manager back in feb about helping over there so sunday (when boss lady is off) i get a call that the owner wants me to go over there. the senior mgr is in later to show me what else i need to do well i was off monday but came back tues (boss lady is again off) the mgr i talked to before came up and said that the owner wanted me to go over there and help K. i will have to get into K and i's interactions later but yesterday boss lady (she ranks behind the owner and sr mgr) calls K up to her office. K runs into me about an hour later as i head to break and she tells me i need to tell you some stuff but please dont tell anyone. basically they gave her the big promotion they promised and i am going over there to help her. boss lady says i am just helping but they are hiring 2 ppl to replace my job in my current department. basically it looks like it is going to be her and i over there with the dept mgr who is disgruntled bc she is about to take his spot. only thing is if it all goes through i have to be careful if i decide to shit where i eat. we can work together and still have a relationship but i am not sure if we can in the same dept.

basically she is not going anywhere and i am going to be directly working with her a lot more possibly permanently. also there is a lot more room for wage increase in this new dept. i am kind of handicapped in my current spot because of boss lady bringing in "pervert". legit this guy has worked here 2 1/2 months and he has all the women and girls uncomfortable and he is a real asshole. he has been reported to the union for creeping on the 16 and 17 year old girls that work here. also he is like 5'5'' 400lbs (maybe more) and is super cocky lmao

more coming...

 

so back to tuesday i get there and she talks to me. first thing she tells me is i tried that lotion i bought her. i said did it help? she said it really helped her skin. then she quickly changes the subject about her ex keeps bothering her and she told him she likes "another guy" but she won't tell me who he is. usually she will tell me too. either i am "the other guy" or she is trying to make me jealous. later i ask her if she needs me to get her something on my break and she said no i am ok. it was bothering me before when i kept offering and she turned me down. well i told her i always worry about you and i am sorry if i am bothering you when i ask so much. i tell her point blank the thing is i am going to ask my next break because i don't want anything bad to happen to you and i remember seeing you get all lightheaded and dizzy and it scared me then and the idea of it happening again scares me. so as long as i am here i will keep doing so. the thing is i am being 100 i am not playing a part to score points. she goes i know it is (scary) and you are such a doll, you are a doll and a half.

weds we worked together but not as much but that was when she got the news about her promotion. also if i do go over with her full time that would make her my boss. i joked with her since back in late jan/early feb when they first promised her the promotion that if she became my boss she could boss me around. both then and now she tells me "i would be the best boss". i just see it as a win for me: more hours, better hours, work with/for someone who i really enjoy being around (care for).

today is my dating anniversary with my wife and tomorrow is her birthday and i have been up all night thinking about K. it makes me feel guilty as hell and the more i try to distract myself the more i think about K.

 

i worked with K the last 2 days and unfortunately i wasnt in her dept. i still found my way to her. i think the boss lady is trying to keep me from being with her but i think the owner and sr manager want me as well as the other manager. yesterday she was having a lot of pain in her foot and she was like i have to go to stat care after work. i was really kinda of dropping wordplay on her. i ask her early on if she needed anything and she said no then proceeded to tell me about this hot guy that comes in. i, a 40 yr old married man should not be getting jealous about what a single 23 year old girl is calling a hot guy. a few hours later we are in the back just us and i tell her "i am sorry if i am getting naggy about getting you something but it is only because i don't want to see anything bad happen to you. plus you know i care about you a lot." she tells me "it's ok and then tells me i am going to have to go to statcare about my foot". so a few minutes as she is on break i take my bottle of water out of the freezer and i tell her to ice her foot it might help (inflammation). remember when i did that when you hand swelled up and it worked. she is like you want me to take my shoe and my dirty sock and put your water bottle on my bare foot. i wanted her to show me her foot so i could rub it plus i bet she has really cute feet because literally everything else on her is. then i am in the breakroom and we are going back and forth and i sprayed some body spray in my eye and i was looking in the mirror rinsing my eye out and she teases me "why are you messing with your hair? you have what like 10" same line she teased me back in jan. after i got my haircut i said my hair has been thin since i was like 23. i went into the bathroom and logged into my old myspace account and found a pic of me when i was 25 and i said "i was 25 in this pic. do i look a lot different now?" and i see her check it out and she is like yeah. later when i am finishing my break and she is leaving i tell her good luck with her foot and i guess i will have something else to add when i pray for you. yeah every night when i go to bed i pray for you (i have been praying for her foot the past week or 2). i dont remember exactly what she said but i could tell she was smiling through her mask. so like the day after her blood test and the day after her chiropractor appt i got her her favorite starbucks drink. well i planned on bringing her one on tuesday but i remembered they were out of pistachio (that was what i was going to get) when i got my wife starbucks on her birthday (sunday). so i decided to go to the mom and pop coffee shop by my old job so i ordered over the phone and i got it and i barely made it to work on time. i drank mine on the way and i put hers in the fridge and i could not get her attention until a customer dropped something and i had to go to her dept and right where she was and i told her that i had something for her if she wanted it as it isnt starbucks but it is pistachio. a few minutes later i had to help another customer and while i was waiting K came up to me and ask about it. half hour later she comes up to me and tells me "oh yeah the drink is good. i like it" all giggly and playful and i am like i'm glad you like it. then the incident happens. the fatass i mentioned previously called for help in our dept. of course being the hard worker K is she is the only one to come up. so a customer needed a propane tank that one of the outside dudes would bring out but was on break. K has a doctors note that saying she can't lift over 10 lbs this is 40lbs. this fat piece of shit bullies her and tells her to carry it out. she comes up to me and she is shaking almost whimpering sadly saying "have you ever done a propane tank?" he wants me to do it but i cant lift that much. i tell her its ok i got you girl. i look at this guy and said "she can't do that". he apparently gives me a death stare as i turn back trying to finish up with my customer. he said that it needs to be taken out. i tell him "K can not lift that she has back issues if you can wait a minute when i am done here i can do it". K stands next to me and he says i will just do it. i am like why the fuck didnt you in the first place asshole. i was about to kick his ass and the only reason i didnt is he is not worth getting fired for and i don't want to lose K like that. a few minutes later i head to break and K already told the store manager about it and he was in the breakroom. we chatted about it and then K came in with the empty coffee cup and the 3 of us talked. i walked her out and i reassured that it'll be ok then i told her bye and i would see her thursday or friday. oh yeah i didn't mention but she has flatfoot and needs steroid shots. poor girl is a mess but i wish it was me who could clean it all up.

 

Holy walls of text, Batman!

 

Yeah

 

I dont know where to go. Things are getting weird. I don't like where my head is. I want this girl and I mean I want her SO bad. About a week ago we were having a good day but an ex bf was giving her hard time. She told him she was into someone else. He started going off on her and ended by telling her to kill herself. She is super depressed. Right at the end of her shift I could see her cute silly self was different. She had just cried and was visibly shaken. I gave her a hug and I could feel her heart pounding so hard and so fast like scary bad. I couldn't hug her very long but I wish I could have been there longer for her.

She talks about this guy is hot or that. I fire back he is probably gay or doesn't measure up. Then she is like well if you go to Starbucks I would like you to get me this. She always calls me "doll" or "doll and half". I fucking love this girl I know this for a fact. It isn't just because she is physically attractive. There is so much more. I have spent so much time with her at work the past 2+ weeks even though I haven't been put in her department yet (which I feel like I may be getting played) and all I want is more. Some older lady who we work with comes up and interrupts our conversation and asks me if I got my wife something for Mother's Day. I go no and this lady says why not she is a dog mom. K knows I'm married and I have told her multiple times but I don't want that shit being brought up right after I bought her coffee and gave her the rest of my candy bar right before this.

* have to finish rest later*

 

K is having dental surgery on friday. she is off through sunday and may take a personal day on monday. she kept telling me how saturday she is going to be home alone all day and under all that medication. i told her i could bring her something over to make her feel better but told her i dont know where she lives. she just smiled at me. this is true i do not know where she lives but i have access to her address because of the employee directory in the office (to call ppl in or whatever). i would not do that because regardless of how much she likes me just showing up at her house is weird even if my intent is good. also i wouldnt try to take advantage of her when she is high on pain pills and blood loss but i sure as hell would take the opportunity to do something really nice/helpful in down time for her. the bigger problem is i work 12-8pm saturday and really wish i had one of my 6-2pm shifts so i could spend a little time with her after my shift.

also last friday i left a candy bar that i bought for her on the table with the receipt and meant to put in my locker. i come into take my break and there is cute little K and the manager. they both ask about the candy bar and i didnt know where to go with it so i just said yeah K it was for you. we talked for awhile and then she went back. then the mgr and i talked about it and it was brought up that i am married and i have been butting heads with my wife over me working all these hours. i said i am frustrated because she hasnt worked a job in 9 years and granted she does some stuff from home to earn a little but i probably make more in a day or 2 than she does in an entire month but gets attitude w me. this mgr guy goes i have been divorced twice and maybe you are headed there. i said i dont know about that and he stops me and says just dont let her know you are buying K candy bars and as far with her its not like she is saying dont buy me this. i explained how the candy bar thing started he just laughed and said unless she (K) tells you no i wouldnt worry about it. the past few days she kept coming up to me and gave me candy. so yesterday i went to the local coffee shop and got her a pistachio drink which is her favorite and starbucks doesnt carry them anymore. she was way more grateful for it than usual. that mgr is off this week but i think he is cool bout it as long as he doesnt walk in on us doing something.

 

that's a lot to read, but my advice is try to have a threesome with your wife or forget it is my opinion...do what you want though

 

so monday she was supposed to come back to work but she has complications with her oral surgery so she had to call off. well i was off sunday and monday she was scheduled before me so i wanted to do something nice for her. so i got her a pack of her favorite gummies taped a note to it (put it in her locker) and told her to look in the fridge because i got her some bob evans mashed potatoes single serve. well when i got there tuesday the first chance i came up to her we talked and she was complaining about how she kept tasting blood and being on percocet (and a few other things) she was having a real hard time. so i went and found the last box of gauze and i walked up to her right before my break and i asked her do you need this? and sometimes she tries to act like she doesnt need something when she clearly does but this time she was like please i will pay you back. both of our 2nd break we are together and she shows me this bruise on the side of her cheek. somehow she makes a bruise on her face look cute. she tells me how bad the inside of her mouth looks and i keep looking at her bruise and my first instinct is to kiss her on the cheek and keep in mind it is only the 2 of us in there so i get one of my frozen bottles of water and tell her to ice her face. i tell her when your hand was really swollen and i gave that to you it helped (yeah but i also just grabbed her hand and started rubbing it) even though you didn't want to do it. she playfully sighs at me and in comes this other guy to the break room and makes it all about when his wisdom tooth was bad. she got off work at 2 does her turn around and wave and bye to me. well it is probably about 235-240pm and she comes in and is like i got something for you because "they gave me an extra one". i tell her thanks and she leaves. she doesnt even care she brought this starbucks drink right to me in front of everyone while i am more low key and will put it in the break room fridge and go tell her about it. the next morning i go see her before my shift and tell her thanks again and she said yeah i just ate the last one of those potatoes you got me. then she proceeds to tell me how they gave me the wrong size so i thought i told you about this drink. silly girl i saw the tag on the drink and it said number of items ordered: 2. that is fine i did the same thing to her once where i said i ordered a latte and they gave me a frap which was a con on my part i just wanted to repay a nice deed. well yesterday morning she saw me across the room so i walked over to her and she said "it's chad my favorite person in the world". i tell her that you might like me even more after what i have, a cheese danish. we literally were talking about it on weds so on thursday i got one on the way to work and i did it again yesterday but i got a 2nd one and if you want it it is all yours. well we get to break and we are together again and she got some prepared food complained how bad it is so on my way out i decided to get her another thing of potatoes and i put a note in her locker and it said something like "K- this beats nasty ass chicken salad ". i am not someone who snoops but the only thing in her locker was random notes i have left behind. then she worked/works this morning (and i am off) but 5 minutes before her shift she puts a selfie of her in her work shirt pouting and usually all her selfies she is really smiley and bubbly.

i am burying myself though. i keep falling for her more everyday. this really sweet, cute and sexy 23 year old is not going to go for me. then again it seems like all these much younger girls have been showing a lot of interest in me including the girl at starbucks yesterday while i was getting the danish and drink.

 

this week sucks. i only worked with her for 45 minutes on sunday and was off monday and i am off today and tomorrow and she is off thursday. i do get a full 8 hours with her saturday.

she was telling me how she is really depressed. she said it has to do with her back. there is more though she has 2 different ex boyfriends giving her shit. plus she lives at home with her mom and stepdad and she hates him as he is real mean to her and is an alcoholic. she lived on her own about 2 years ago but had to move home. bc her then bf abused her (sexually and other ways) and then the next guy she went on a date took her out to dinner and then they went back to hang out and he thought she was drunk because they had some margaritas. he made a move she tried to fight it but she is a tall but petite girl and he raped her then told her she was lying and wanted it. she has been afraid to get sexually involved again but recently she tells me how she is horny but she is afraid and one guy she messed around with but she wasnt ready for it. i really hate that i am married and have some level of morals because i would have offered to help her out in anyway. she has failed twice trying to get an apartment. she considers me one of her 2 friends and ever since feb. when she had me get something for her i keep getting stuff for her. i mean i love the girl. i have zero doubts about that. especially after that suicide bullshit her ex put on her. im not trying to trick to have sex with her. hell i feel like of that happened it would be more emotional for me because this girl has got me bamboozled. i so bad just want to tell her exactly how i feel. she tried to say she only goes 2 years younger/older than her when we were in the break room in front of a bunch of ppl as we are literally sharing the same food off the same napkin. i just would love to know what she really thought of me in terms of romantically because so many times i feel ridiculous chemistry and even other ppl have pointed it out. even when she was telling the one girl we work with how she feels "so tight" because she has been "inactive" she suggested me to her and she just kind of laughed. then literally within an hour she complained how bad guys were to another woman and she also told K that i am great.

i know i unpack a lot of shit on here but i really have nowhere to go with this and this post in honestly just a outlet for me to document my thoughts (and perhaps timestamp them).

also i mentioned suicide in the beginning and i was to reiterate that she was not saying she was going to commit suicide. what happened was on april 30th we worked together and she was having a rough morning. i got to work with her a little and i got her in a better mood as i got her laughing. then i saw her on her break and she seemed very troubled but she was half on her phone and half talking to her best friend so i continued on. well about 10 minutes before she was done i went in the back and it was only me and her and i was like how are you doing? she looked like she had been crying and had this empty look in her eyes. i have seen her cry when she hurt her back at work, i have seen her a few times get low blood sugar and get dizzy but this was different. i ask her if she was alright and her cute bubbly voice was like very somber and said "i don't think so". i asked her what was up and she told me that her ex who i knew had been upset at her because she is not interested in him anymore. he said a lot of terrible things to her but then ended with telling her to kill herself and some other vulgar things she didnt want to say. this girl has been telling me how depressed she has been for the past month or so. so i walked up to her and just hugged her and i could feel a heavy breath release and her heartbeat was so fast it was scary. i started patting/rubbing her back and told her that i felt like she needed a hug. we crossed paths as she was leaving i was going to the front. those sad eyes just kind of looked at me and i walked away. she was off the next 2 days as she was going out of town with her cousin to see another relative. she also had me worried that she had an issue with her tire losing air enough that i brought in my old air pressure gauge to check for her but she reassured me her cousin was driving. i had been writing her notes on scrap paper and handing them to her to try and cheer her up for the past few weeks at this time. i dont remember what i wrote but it was something uplifting and put it in her locker for when she came back. that weekend i was really feeling different about her. like i have felt feelings and attraction for some time but my emotion is usually at a 4 or a 5 out of ten and i think it was now like a 12. i started thinking what if she got real upset and took her life? what if she even thought about it? i am in the store with my wife literally 2 hours after this happened and i had to walk away when my mind wanders. we still have a mask mandate thing going on here at this point but it was easier to disguise my tears (i had to excuse myself to the bathroom as i gathered myself). i just started thinking about never seeing her again and then i started thinking what if i wasnt there who would she have turned to? hell i got myself teared up thinking about it right now and the fact that i wont see her til friday bums me the hell out. i think the only one who might know about our little thing (whatever it is) is the one night manager who kind of jokes with me about how cute she is. she also has told me how K was so excited to hear you might be going over with her and lots of assorted things. a few weeks ago i happened to be off on payday usually i work but she is usually off. well it was reversed and i tried to time it so i could go see her when she was on break and i really wanted to see her before her oral surgery because she was really stressing. plus that was the check i had a ton of overtime on. so anyways i am cashing my check and she comes up to me and we talk for a bit she is like well i am on break as she tells the night mgr who just looks at us and laughs. in a plot twist the mgr didnt have the cash to pay me so i am like well i will go to the bathroom. yeah the same bathroom that is attached to the break room. so we talk there for a bit. she goes back to work for her final 20 minutes. i go over and warn her about the new kid who is crushing on her and i kid you not he told me he was going to write her notes and put them in her locker. so she tells me would you please grab my purse and put it in the office so i dont have to go back there when he is on break and also my locker is a mess but its ok. i didnt snoop but when i opened it i saw a handful of my notes in there and literally nothing else. well i knew she was about to leave and i kinda wanted to see her one last time. so i was like i will check my oil and coolant. so i have my hood up and had just checked it and K goes "whats wrong with your car?" and i said nothing and she said it doesnt look like nothing (actually my coolant light stays on even when it is full ). so we were talking and i ask her about her tire from a few weeks ago. she said the mechanic said there is a nail in there and its not fixable. i tried to find it but i couldnt. i figured they were trying to scam the young pretty girl. we talked for a bit and i wished her well with her surgery. that led to me making her a little care package when she came back.

 

well son of a bitch. i really wonder where i am going with this. i saw her come in thursday and she was handing in a doctors note about not having to wear a mask. she said she has been having migraines everyday for about 2 or 3 months and the first day she doesnt wear a mask is the first day she doesnt have a migraine. anyways i like to surprise her with coffee but i kind of spoiled it when i said what are you drinking now at starbucks? she is like "the same thing". so friday the first day i have worked with her since sunday. so i brought her drink in and i was 3 minutes late (we only get in trouble if we are more than 5 minutes late). also on weds i bought her some lavender essential oil because it is supposed to help migraines. i brought it with me to work on thursday put it in my locker to give her fri. so i did and i was like i hope this helps. saturday we both worked and i grabbed us both coffee and the one dude watched me get out of my car and her get out of her car and i hand her her drink and walk in together as we both worked at the same time (6am). also boss lady and her minion came in at 8 and they had me run and get everyone mcdonalds breakfast and minion who openly hates K was like go ahead and ask her dept. so when i went back there i already bought her a hershey w/ almonds (her fav) because she had a stomach ache from drinking the coffee on a empty stomach. so i find her and ask if she wants mcdonalds breakfast and she is like like yeah. i come back and take it back to her little "office". all of the sudden minion remembers she hates K when i said i had to kick in a few bucks for breakfast and she goes "yeah you paid for K because i sure as fuck am not paying for her". i retort "well hers was 2 bucks (2.89) and mine was 3 bucks so technically i paid like 5.80 so yeah i did. the rest of the day is pretty uneventful other than me saying i dont know if i am getting starbucks or not. sunday i started 1/2 and hour later (630 to her 6) and the sked listed me at 730. i walk right up to her with not just her drink but her favorite cheese danish. first she goes i didnt think you worked until 730. i am like no i got an hour in the back before i go up front. her pet name for me when i do something for her is "doll" or "doll and a half". i had her glitching by saying it so much. i really shocked her i think and i told her i can see your busy i can run it to the back. saturday night i prayed very deeply about me & her and maybe a sign. even though we arent together we work in the dept next to each other so we kept chatting and things seemed a bit different with her. she seemed for the first time in a long time really happy. i mean usually i bring her spirits up or i try my best. one point though she asks me if i will be there weds and i am like that is the only day i am not working this week. weds she is doing her first full order and it is part of her promotion she got. she is like really bummed about it. it comes up again and she is like "i wish you were here weds", "you are always my moral support but you won't be here" and probably at least one more time. she was also bummed i was coming in today when she got off. this is where the shit gets real interesting. K and i are talking as she is leaving i am coming in and she asks me for a small favor so i am like sure. when i first walked in the senior mgr asked me what time i worked and said they will need me over in the dept where K works (but she is leaving ) .

have to finish later

 

continued...

we are talking and i see minion waddling over and just gave us a "look" and told me dont start yet. so K and i are chatting i tell her it will be ok and she keeps telling me how nervous she is. i tell her you are nervous because you care about what you are doing and you are great at your job and that is why you have been put in that spot. she sadly goes i will see you thursday and let you know how it went. then minion tells me i m not going over to K's dept because it isnt my job to do her job because she did nothing all day. first minion is equal to me she is not above me and i have way more responsibilities than she does. she is going in hard on K and i am arguing with her because she is trying to tell me things about K that i know are not true because i help out with K and i talk to the head of her dept too. so minion goes over there and tries to do stuff she has no idea how to do just to spite me. part of me thinks she was trashing K to get me to defend her because she has been super jealous of her since she found out me and her became friends like immediately back in november. thing is she then starts trashing K to her bestie the woman who brought me over who now tells me to go over to K's dept but only for a little bit. i am in there looking for what minion said K was to lazy to put out yet we dont have the product. i get another guy from the back to help me as maybe i am mistaken and he is like you are right it is not there. then i go all in on minion being a complete bitch how she said no one in the dept does any work and then she keeps calling K the wrong name (another name starting with K) and i drop f bombs and mention her name and how mean she is to K and how it is personal like how she said "no man would want K because she has a girls body". i turn around and boss lady lets call her HR is there and i do not know what she heard me say but usually i am mild mannered and calm. i was waiting for a war with HR but it never happened. we even talked several times about her having me stay in K's dept and all of the sudden minion dropped her attitude and was super nice to me.

so sunday night with K being so upset/sad i am not there tomorrow for her big day i had a crazy idea that i worked til 915 tonight (an hour and a half ago) that i would go get her starbucks drive 25 minutes from my house and take it to her and catch her before she goes into work. the longer this was going the more i was sure i was going to do this. so shortly after i get to work i hear K's keys (very distinct) and i am in her dept (she is off work) and i go into the office and she comes up and we chat. she was trying to be embarrassed because she was buying tampons in front of me. she is nervous i tell her again how she is going to be just fine. i said i really dont want to cause you more stress but i need to tell you about minion and how she was trashing you and i kept defending you because i knew she was full of crap. then how she was trying to override the 2nd in charge of the entire business who wanted me. we chat for a bit and then she leaves and she looks real sad at me as she leaves. i am like i have to do this now i will make her day. well about 2 1/2 hours later i just come back to my dept after working in hers and i hear her again and she comes right up to me and we talk for a bit. then she is like i needed ice cream and then she was talking about how she told her mom what minion said about her. well we are really busy and she was trying to come see me but i had someone cut her off and she went to someone else. then just as i finish up she pops up and we talk some more. i ask her when are you coming in for the 3rd time? she goes i dont know. she didnt but i was kinda hoping she would. anyways i decided against getting her coffee tomorrow and i hate that i am not but i really can not. minion and HR are coming in early like at the same time K is coming in because of the regular person scheduled had a major health issue. this sucks because i want nothing more than to make her entire day. HR could try to ruin both of us working together and i would hate to be the reason K would get punished as i can take it. it might have made my day more than hers though. so i wrote her a note telling her how she will do great, i am sorry i wont be there and a little more. i work with her thursday for a majority of the day but then she is off friday and i start 1/2 an hour after she leaves on saturday. i even joked sunday that i guess i will just have to get myself starbucks on friday because i was under the impression she worked friday as she usually does. not enough K for me but then again i could work with her 7 days a week and it wouldnt be enough for me

minion yesterday also started to fight (verbally of course) a 16 yr old girl who works with us and ripped on her 17yr old bf who also works there right in front of their faces. she also called the 70 yr old lady in the office a "fucking retard" for like at least the 10th time this month in front of me. minion needs shitcanned but she is HR's best friend and she is being protected plus they ride to work everyday, show up whenever the hell they want and never face any backlash other than 90+% of the company hating them especially minion.