Qantas flight jokes....someone sent me this in an email

thought it might appeal to our rather awesome sense of humour...jaz

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet";
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and
then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of
humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints
submitted by Qantas' pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance
engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had
an accident.

----------------------------------------
(P= The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

----------------------------------------

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

----------------------------------------

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

----------------------------------------

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

----------------------------------------

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet
per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

----------------------------------------

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

----------------------------------------

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

----------------------------------------

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're for.

----------------------------------------

P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

----------------------------------------

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

----------------------------------------

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

----------------------------------------

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

----------------------------------------

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

----------------------------------------

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

----------------------------------------

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget

 

hahaha made me laugh

 

hahaaahahaha lolop. nice one

 

*snort*

 

very amusing!

 

hehe

 

haaaaaaaaaa

when i grow up i wana be a problem for an airline.