My first haiku

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by Bhaskar, Feb 20, 2005.

  1. Bhaskar

    Bhaskar Members

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    It feels odd
    to fall in love with someone
    who eats meat.
     
  2. Rafaela

    Rafaela Member

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    I dig it , short crisp and vegetarian
     
  3. BraveSirRubin

    BraveSirRubin Members

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    Crap. This has no Haiku Zen-like feel to it.
     
  4. Smiling_Rose

    Smiling_Rose Member

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    ha ha! made me smile!
     
  5. Major Peacenik

    Major Peacenik Member

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    pardon my asking
    but haikus are five-sev-five
    or am i dead wrong?
     
  6. Major Peacenik

    Major Peacenik Member

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    thanks for the clarification, lotus.

    and bhaskar, it is a nice poem :) I can relate
     
  7. Burbot

    Burbot Dig my burdei

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    some also say its a 3 lines that add to 17 syllables...thats how i write mine...i thought this was hilarious...
     
  8. Bhaskar

    Bhaskar Members

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    Wow thanks everyone :) Im glad it made you all smile. Im stil waiting for the right person to read it, though. I can't wait :)

    season word...hm. had to work in...

    Burbot...why did it make you laugh?
     
  9. Burbot

    Burbot Dig my burdei

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    what part of my sig do you vibe with?

    i thought it was hilarious as a meat eater that that lifestyle chocie would be odd to point out...i dunno...its just odd...but good..
     
  10. VanAstral

    VanAstral Member

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    making bacon, two
    pigs sizzle, smoke flavour, lick
    sides back and belly

    nothing like bacon
    on the lips of a lover,
    sugar and spice cures

    bacon lettuce tomato
    a little mayo
    a whole lotta love

    widely publicized
    danger to autonomy
    love is glorified
     
  11. Firebelle

    Firebelle Member

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    Wow, Bhaskar! You fell in love with a carnivore; you bastard! Only joking ;) Hope your intended reader realises how lucky they are, I know how passionate you are about vegetarianism!

    X X X H X X X
     
  12. Firebelle

    Firebelle Member

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    Oh, and about the 'season' thing...could you not flaunt the rules a bit? Instead of 'season' in relation to nature and time of year and all that, maybe you could use 'season' as in seasoning, peppers and spices and whatnot as used to flavour meat? Or you could just discard the rules altogether, keep the haiku as it is...it's beautiful Bhaskar :)
     
  13. Bhaskar

    Bhaskar Members

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    Im glad you liked it, Hannah... Unfortunately, I don't think the intended reader realised who I was referring to when I wrote it.
     
  14. Firebelle

    Firebelle Member

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