I just realized something about myself yesterday. When I get gifts I feel emotioanlly numb. LIke some people get surprised or happy or sad or whatever. It's nice to get gifts but they just dont make me feel all happy and excited, but when someone shows me affection or spends time with me that makes me more happy. Is this weird?
Hm.. just wondering.. do you feel that way about all gifts? What about gifts that someone put a lot of thought and effort in? 'Cause some people show their affection by giving you things rather than hugging of saying 'i love you' and stuff.. like a kid making a drawing or something.. or a friend finding you that one special thing you really wanted but only mentioned once.. But no, I don't think it's weird that you don't get over excited from things.. just keep in mind that it may be a way of showing affection.
I don't think that's abnormal. I feel that was a lot. If someone gives me a present, I'll be glad they did so, but it doesn't get me super happy or excited. On birthdays and Chanukkah, I'd really rather get money than get a present. The fact that they wanted to give me a present makes me happy, because at least they care, but the gift itself is not so important to me.
Hmmmm. I used to be like this, too. My mother would insist that I get all gooshy and rave about EVERY gift I was given as a child. EVen if it was something inappropriate or something I really didn't like.) I once had an aunt an uncle give me an ICE BUCKET for Christmas when I was about 8 years old, obviously they had forgotten to get me something and that was their "emergency present" and my mother wanted me to get all gooshy and happy about it. Sheesh. Not just say "Thank you" but act like it was the most incredible gift ever given, every time. So I got really numb. Every gift left me feeling cold and dissapointed. My mother gives rather pathetic gifts, as cheap as she can get away with, and expects everyone to go insane with thrill over them. Then she will call you up that evening and ask "Did you just love the vanilla candle I gave you?" (When it is made clear that I don't use scented candles years ago!) She called me about 7 times to ask if Bear and I got her "Anniversary card" for our last anniversary. EVERY DAY she called to see if it had arrived. It finally came, it was just a card from those sets you buy, like 2 bucks for 100 cards, with NOTHING in it. You would think she had put a $1,000 the way she went on and on. I resorted to a generic "Thank you." when given a gift. I still get kinda let down (except when it is something really special.) It seems kind of silly in a adult, but you still look forward to gifts. I, too, prefer gift cards, that way I won't have to throw away that vanilla candle. Jen, how were gifts treated when you were a child? Was too much of a deal made of them? I think this was the problem in my family,(my mom's side) too much of a deal for people who didn't really put the effort into it. Then they wanted IMMENSE praise for poor effort. Was your family like this, too?
Gifts were the only time the family came together. My grandparents go crazy on birthdays and christmas. Buying everything you ask for on the list. SO i think the fact that i was spolied growing up and got everything i wanted made me numb. Know what I'm saying? Also gifts were a way to buy off people in my family. I'm no longer spolied and feel so bad sometimes that i dont react in an overly pleased fashion. I"m happy the person took time to get me a gift and i'm always greatful they thought of me I just dont jump up and down in excitment.
I'm the same way, but it's probably because the gifts I get are stereotypical and not personal, but I pretend to like them and of course I say thank you, because it doesn't really bother me that people give me things I don't want, I just think it's a waste, but still I'm grateful, I guess.
The angriest I've ever been over presents was when three years in a row my sister-in-law gave me dollar store bubble bath when my apartment only had a shower. The third year I simply let it hang out: "Oh great, if only I had a bathtub and enough time to use all three bottles." This year she gave me a receipt with my gift. On the other hand, I was really impressed by my brother Matt's gift for Xmas. I DID get giddy about that gift. It cost like $5, but he really put a lot of thought into it to select it. (It was a used edition of the Gashley Crumb Tinies.)
nope not weird at all gifts just arent your love language. http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/start.html sounds like quality time IS one of your love languages though.
I dread gifts...because I am not very good at acting. i have been known to fall in love with really old crappy cars...but in special ones their spirit speaks to me...you know? And those kindsa a cars run on magic...well one year after we'd just moved to a new place and I had no car my hubby gave me a beat the f!@# up old Montero that had holes in it and when I opened the driverside door it literaly fell off it's hinge...lol....and i cried, how was I gonna drive my kids to school with holes in the roof in the winter time, lol, omg did i cry(did'nt help that I'd just smoked a bowl and my brother had been stoking me on this gift for weeks)...you can't give me some thing like that and expect me to be happy, hahahah...I can laugh now, but i assure you I bawled that christmas. Oh, good gawd i hate gifts!!! I am not your monkey!!!
Is it just gifts, or can you think of other examples of when you feel that way? I stay pretty poker-faced, but I have dysthymia, which is a chronic form of depression. Its like you function, but you just feel *blah* most of the time. I always felt bad at christmas, etc because I knew I wasn't expressing enough enthusiasm even if I really did dig the gift(s).
the only time i get super excited about gifts is when there was ALOT of thought about me in the making or buying of it. like one time my stepmom bought me a soup tureen from value village for christmas. it was totally 70s ugly handmade and she saw it and was like "thats so Angie!" and grabbed it from the guy's cart before he could even price it and put it on the shelf. i almost cried when i opened it. i never use it but i love it totally. but basicly i get let down too. just a kind of oh yeah, hey, thanks. feeling. i have dysthemia too so that is part of it and i was spoiled too, so i guess thats part of it too. i also think part of it is that we are so flooded by the media on how we should act and stuff and we don't and so we think its not normal to be blah, when really it is.
I find that i get more excitment when the presant is wrapped, because i dont know what is inside it. I get excited by imagining all the different things it could be. But once i open it it sucks cuz i dont care about it anymore cuz it is open.... unless it is another box...then i love it. But i really do hate birthdays and thinks because i hate ppl saying Happy Birthday because it is so fake....also getting presants from ppl cuz i dont know how to act because they spent money on me and i feel guilty for that...even with my closest friend i dont know how to thank them...i just get embarised...
