An Exerpt From My Pathetic Sex Life (Lack Therof)

I feel like that stupid asshole in those teen movies whos always trying to get laid but I am not that desperate....well...at least i don't admit it, lol I mean I keep a bright yellow condom in my wallet just in case that special oppurtunity presents intself to steal my sweet lustful virginity from my passion filled grip of love.........The condom has been in my wallet for 4 years.......................


-Truly Yours,

All alone with the reddest of wine.
Thinking about my only Valentine.

 

Ok.. a few things:

1) a bright yellow condom would be a turnoff for me on a first time sex thingie
2) check the date on the condom, is it still good?
3) you are pretty goodlooking, maybe if you stop trying so hard you'll have more succes.. girls like the more quiet mysterious yet openhearted guys.. we can smell desperateness from a miles distances, no matter how hard you're trying not to appear desperate
4) stop licking your guitar

*grin*

You'll get there.. just be patiënt.. and it's a good thing to keep a condom with you (as long as it's 'fresh'), nothing wrong with having good hopes.. just try to limit the desperateness!

*hug*

 

your condom probably lost its purpose in your wallet for that long

 

I have to smile as I remember the same angst at the same age, 17 and still virgin. I was worried about it as though I would not be a man til I did it. That summer, an 18 year old girl basically had her way with me. I was drunk. Years later I kinda felt like I was too eager, and should have waited. The main things to focus on are the importance of each thing in your life and in your future plans. It is more important to study how to make a girl cum, than to just do the first one that is in the mood. I have gone long periods without, one stretch was around 7 years. Other times I have been as busy as I could physically cope with. Unique people have a more difficult time finding someone special. And for me back then, I could have been with many more than I was but I didn't want to, and was very concerned about hurting feelings by doing it any waheIII w

 

sweetie, get a new condom, that one may be old and deteriorated by now =) i don't mean that in a hurtful way, but I woldnt trust one I been carrying around like that for so long. Thats actually pretty cute tho =)

 

haha, good story.

you're only 17 though..... young! no worries about not gettin laid quite yet.

 

My b/f didn't lose his virginity till he was 19, some of his friends didn’t lose it till they were 21 - you have nothing to worry about. You’re a good looking guy. just talk nicely to girls - and be interested in what the girl has to say for a little while and she’s bound to like you

 

My friend, you have answered that very question I've been asking myself as to the lack of datelessness. Besides being on the chubby side, I figured I must have some "stay away" sign on me to be 4 years w/o any date from gal or guy.
I do consider myself unique and proud to be me. I neither want some tryst nor do I really look for it. Got a couple of ads out-that's enough I guess.

If it will happening, It'll probably be when I least expect it or do. Who knows.

 

LOL I'm glad you think it's "cute" I am going to get rid of it and stock up on a fresh one It's just whenever I encounter a condom I get all happy and gittery and I end up keeping it like it's a ticket into someones pants or something lol *slaps self*

 

Heheheh.. now thàt is cute!.. hehe.. aahwww.. come here you *big cuddle*

 

does your condom loose its flavor ....in your wallet after years ....and you try and try to get laid ....but your on the net in tears ....[sung to the tune of ...does your chewing gum ...song.....well life does suck sometimes.....but every now n then things change for some reason .

 

AWWW shux :& *accepts big cuddle*

 

aw, hun, i'm sorry, it's so difficult for you. get a new condom, and pretend you don't want a woman. in fact, don't be nice. nice is the kiss of death, no matter what these lyin' chicks may tell you. NICE GUYS DO FINISH LAST.

 

lol, seriously though. women don't treat well the men who are TOO nice.

 

well, jerks finish last too most of the time....gotta find a happy medium, which is being yourself with some confidence and funniness....perfect mixture!!!

 

so you've been carrying a condom in your wallet since you were 13. are you not aware that you shouldn't keep condoms in your pocket. tsk tsk

 

Yeah I heard if you leave condoms in your wallet it will kill the spermicide (if any) and increase the percentage of it tearing during use but I figured I am never going to use it so it doesn't matter but I am going to start stashin my condoms at home now anyway.