I just wanted you guys to give me some of your thoughts about this. I've heard about some lesbians and gay men being reluctant to get involved with bisexual people...is it because they think of bisexuals as greedy beings who can have the best of both worlds? OR is it just a way of reafirmming their identity? OR is it plain insecurity, as in the case the bisexual person leaves them for someone of the opposite sex? I've been told it was because bisexual people are just closet homosexuals who will act "straight" to the rest of society, whilst they will have sort of a "double life" getting involved with people of the same sex in their private life. Is that fair?
This is completely untrue. I suppose that some bisexuals choose to label themselves bisexual becuase they are uncomfortable with "coming out of the closet" completely. But that is certainly not the case for all or even most bisexuals, at least in my experience. Some people, myself included, are simply attracted to people of both genders. I can't really speak for all gay people, but I think people's descision to not date bisexuals is usually because they are afraid of infidelity, or to re-afirm thier own sexual identity. I haven't really seen much of the "bisexuals are greedy" attitude you have described. Of course I have a limited perspective on the issue since I am young. Also my area is very conservative and I have not had the opportunity to be exposed to a large number of homo/bisexual people.
Yeah, I notice that a lot. It's kind of pathetic really, I mean with all the pressure of 'coming out' you'd think that gay people would attempt to understand that it's not a greedy/in denial way of life, but I guess you can't please everyone. I'm bi, but a lot more on the gay side than straight. I'm in a relationship at the moment, but it doesn't matter who I'm with guy/girl, I wouldn't just cheat on them. If I like my girlfriend, I WANT my girlfriend. I don't need a part time penis as a substitute and vice versus. It's a un-fair type of stereotype that comes with being bisexual I guess so you kind of just deal with it. I'm friends with gay/lesbian people that are completely ok about it, thankfully, but you will find you get some twats, gay or straight that think THEIR way is the ONLY way. Anyways, bye bye x
I try not to date bi-sexuals, especially at this age, not because I have anything against them, but because so many bi girls I've dated have dumped me because they "realized they were straight" or because they wanted to date some dude. I think its mainly when you're young because so many people think they're bi but then aren't really and end up breaking your heartOf course, this is from personal experience. I dated whorey chicks. I don't think its actually as big of deal as so many make it out to be; I don't know any lesbians or gay guys who won't go out with or hang out with a bisexual.
I find this bi's are greedy idea such a silly statement. if all gay men where actracted to all other men and all gay women where attracted to all other women, then maybe it would be true, but the fact is how many of us think about gender first when we are attracted to some one, i for one think of the persons energy and personality and the fact that they are male takes on second importance. I do not believe that bisexuals need to have a relationship with both sexes to feel fulfilled, like all human beings, attracion comes when it does and we don't have a lot of control over it S
while I wouldn't let bisexuality stop me from dating someone, it would make me more insecure. I can't compete with both sexes, and being gay, I don't understand how someone can be attracted to both sexes. I do realize, however, that it is my problem. I don't have to understand everything about a person, and I do have more to offer a person other than my biological sex.
I Have All Way's Thot That I My Be Bi.and Ther As Just Ben One Peirson In My Life For The Last 18 Yer's My Wife.now It's Go'ing Tit's Up. And Now I Wont To Try Out My Gay Side. I Dont Think That's Been Greedy.i Use To Work On The Gay Sceen And That's How I Fond Out That I Was Bi. My Wife Is Cool With Gay Pep's But Think's Bi Pep's Shod Make Ther Mind's Up Wich They Won.t To Go. I Think If U 100% Gay U Just Like Guy's 100% Str8t You Like Girl's.but If U Are Bi And Like Both It Can Be Hard To Know Wich Way To Go Becuz You The Choce
I regret to report that when I came out bi in 1993 -- after being exclusively gay for 20 years -- many gay people in San Francisco where I lived at the time and whom I thought were my friends turned their backs on me. Even an ex-partner of mine openly called me a "traitor to queers" to my face. I didn't take their criticisms kindly. I blasted back with a scorching tirade in which I called them "heterophobic hypocrites" who've lived in San Francisco's "Queer Ghetto" -- the Castro District -- for far too long and have sunk into "a queer-ghetto separatist mentality." I know from having grown up in New York's Bedford-Stuyvesant district how debilitating a "ghetto mentality" can have on people in the long run: "The whole world's against us! We've gotta stick together!" and then turn around and rip apart anyone who doesn't conform to that mentality. "Uncle Tom!" "Oreo!" The worst insults aimed at me during my childhood were "Mongrel!" "Half-breed!" and "You ain't black enough!" I'm half-Cherokee, so I can never be "black enough." I fled New York at the end of 1981 in order to escape that mentality as it applied to the African American community -- and I wasn't about to succumb to that same mentality as it applied to San Fancisco's gay community. So the gay backlash against my being bisexual was, to me, a flashback to the black backlash against my being biracial. Eventually, in 1994, I bid "au revoir" to San Francisco as well and moved back East. I've lived in Vermont ever since. So in answer to your question, there is, unfortunately, a strong streak of heterophobia among gay men and lesbians who don't like bisexuals -- with an added undercurrent of outright misogyny among radical separatist gay men and outright misandary among radical separatist lesbians. As far as I'm concerned, they're a mirror image of homophobic heterosexuals. And I despise such hypocrisy. -- Skeeter
I can't and won't speak for everyone else. I've found that many bisexual men in my area are married to women and just want a man on the side. I'm looking for a steady and permanent partner, not an "arrangement." It seems that I'm more likely to find what I want from a man who is gay than from a bisexual man. There are two things that a woman can give a bisexual man that I can't. One of them is children who are biologically his own. The other is a legally recognized marriage *and* the social acceptance that comes with it. Lots of bisexual and gay men don't want to come out to their friends and families. Getting married to a woman or dating a woman doesn't touch on that issue.
