Lucifer Sam's Lonely Hearts Club Thread

well. right now i should belong to this area more than ever. apparently i've had two satisfactory relations till now and a couple of more casual ones. none of them however were girls who really understood me or liked the things i did or felt the way i feel about the world. i broke off the last relation, which had been one of the longest, once i realised nothing's gonna change, but somehow my luck seems to have run out. it's all very well when you're right in a relation to say i can't to make do with someone on a different wavelength, but when nobody's there, you tend to get alone. you miss the sex and the basic warmth of being there with someone who cares. i don't want to sound pretentious,but my last two g/fs were hugely attractive (physically, i mean) and i'm not a particularly good-looking guy. so, there's also this anxiety lurking somewhere under my skin that i'll just not be able to find girls who'd be both physically and intellectually satisfying for a meaningful relation. and if you are not good looking enuff then one night stands (which helps ease this tension) don't come your way all that easy... and i'm kinda introverted and not very good at making friends or even making conversations work (dunno how i managed to make so many affairs work till now, whatever...) so i dont have too many friends to make up for the lack of a g/f either. but you can't afford to keep feeling lonely or you'll just keep digging yourself deeper and deeper into that hole. out here in calcutta, there's just a shade of green seeping through the february grey, and the new semester opens tomorrow, and i have lost the last five games of chess i played with my comp. c'est la vie...

 

Uhh, lemme vent a lil. So, I've been diggin this chick fer a while, not goin all "I love you, be mine!" with her, jus kinda easin' my way in there. Jus been tryin to be her friend, while makin myself boyfriend material all the while. Well, there was this dance last week, and goddammed if she doesn't start dancin with this other guy and apparrently they hook up. Sonofabitch. Sigh, guess I shoulda made my move faster, but, such as life.

 

ya, life sucks...

 

Tha thought plickens: Tha dude broke up wit her cuz some of her buds were apparrently stalkin him an threatenin him. So now, she's totally bummed out.

 

rawr

 

So... if you went out with her, they might stalk you, too.

 

Grrr, im a bear...


but you might wonder what his intentions were if these guys were stalking him...

 

la la la

 

awwwwwwww.....what a lovely idea!!!Valentines day is sooo close...and i am surrounded by a lot of love...that comes from special friends and ...erm...my mother...but they're the kinds of love we all need and which are probably the ones with the most longevity...and ones we need most....but i feel i have this hole...and it need filling with another mind...i want to discover somebodys mind ..and soul...and body....awwww i can't wait to fall in love .... x x x Theres so much to look forward to.....

 

Thats a great idea. Also my current strategy.

 

That's actually kind of what I'm doing right now with a girl. She has expressed the fact that she does not want a relationship with anyone at all right now...so...I'm just still going to be around her, be nice all the time, you know, make myself availiable. So, when she does change her mind, I'll be right there waiting.

 

Read this carefully, my young friend. It is precisely because you ARE available and you have, no doubt, been NICE, LOVELY and friendly, that she does not want a relationship. OK? You are going to be waiting a long time.

Now, I know this sounds crazy at your age, and I also know that you will almost certainly ignore what I am about to type, but she WILL think you are nice and lovely; so nice, in fact, she will love confide in you about her problems with the less nice, less lovely dudes who appear to her to be full of self confidence and excitement.

Women have an entirely different concept of friendship when it comes to men. Generally, women divide men into 2 groups, and that's all. Those they want to sleep with, and those they want to be friends with. A man, however, can have a woman as a friend that he finds sexually attractive, and would sleep with given the chance, but may not because he values her friendship, she is married to one of his friends, or her is married etc etc. Women - the overwhelming majority, that is - do not think like this. If a woman wants to be 'friends,' she does NOT consider you worthy of her bed. Indeed, many a time women will use the delightful term, 'just' friends, to ram this home.

Of course, women WANT men as friends and do not want to anything like a man's misunderstanding upsetting this Black and White scenario. She is effectively telling you that you do not float her boat, but she will maybe go for a coffee or lunch or the movies or call you with any problems she may have.

Of course there are the odd exceptions, but I have known many, many women in the last 25 years and 99.9% behave this way......although only about 30% admit it! 99.9% of women are also attracted to 'bad boys' - as they, sweetly, call them - or total assholes, as you and I would call them. This is a important lesson you ignore at your peril.

The likelihood of you turning this friendship into a relationship is right next to zero. You can either find this out the hard way - which I suspect you are going to - or believe me. If you have feelings for her, then walk away. She knows who you are and where you are, and IF she becomes interested - ie. if you are not so available or nicey nice- , she will contact YOU. If she doesn't, you have lost nothing.

Now, if you are 100% happy with her as a FRIEND, and wouldn't mind seeing her out with your best male friend, then all this is fine and dandy. But do not delude yourself into believing she will maybe 'see the light' and appreciate you for your boyfriend qualities. She has already put you into her 'OUT' tray on her 'men for relationships' desk and in to the 'IN' tray on her 'men as just friends' desk. Accept it and learn, and you will save yourself a LOT of heartache in the future.

 

*deleted*

 

sometimes it's just so fucking lonesome, you make these not quite complimentary generalizations. i guess, you completely believe in them when you make them, cause nothing seems to work right. as we all know, it was only his mother sleeping with his uncle and Hamlet went on to say "Frailty, thy name is woman." depression does this sometimes. never mind. i completely understand the situation Silver Salamander is talking 'bout, and hence, this interjection on his behalf...

 

*deleted*

 

I try - and hopefully succeed - not to generalise women. If you read my post, I refer to the fact there are always exceptions.

Whilst I am not yet 60, I am long past 20, and have known many people, both male and female in that time. The points I make about women are not meant to be misogynistic or nasty, they are my experiences, and 'generally' what I have found through a lot of pain to be true. More often than not, the kinder and more considerate I have been to women, the worse I have been treated or taken for granted. When I have been cavalier or even decidedly stand-offish, they have - generally - seemed to prefer this!!! I was trying to save this young man the heartache that only women can inflict, sometimes with the best intentions, but often not!

What I would ask you is this. You say on the one hand you 'love this person with every ounce of your heart'. Oh, really? That being the case, do you REALLY think it fair to give him such an ambiguous decision?! He cares for you, and yet, depsite your flowery turn of phrase, and despite the fact I do believe you care for this person, I really DON'T think it is right for you to keep him dangling. Nor do I think you WANT a relationship with him..... at all

IF he made your heart skip a beat at the mere sight of him, or at the sound of his voice, you would confide in him and welcome the love and support he could bring to your difficult situation - which we ALL have in our lives, from time to time.

Are you not, in reality, thinking of yourself, here, and not what he is feeling? Put yourself in his shoes. He's a nice guy.....and you know it. You wouldn't dream of giving that spiel to some dude who knows where it's at, because he would tell you, in no uncertain terms, what you could do with your 'I need a little time, but hang around until I feel better and I MAY take you up' reply.

I can understand you are, maybe, trying to let him down gently, but I think you do NOT want a relationship with him, and I think you have to be brutally honest with him about this......and yourself.

And that isn't 'shit'....it's a perfectly valid point of view, that I have the right to. Ok?

 

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I didnt follow the whole thing but I think you lost a good occasion to shut the fuck up!
Eat shit and die, that's my advice!
Greg

 

Dude......come TRY and say that to me anytime you are over here, and we'll see how much you do follow.....you fascist asshole. I REALLY think you are in the wrong forum. YOU are a Charva, my son, you speak their delightful language fluently. Eventually, you will find your own kind.

If anyone needs to shut up more and post less, it's you, you pussy-ass kissing clown. As for your advice, I choose to ignore your particular culinary tastes, and I will die - hopefully - after you. Thankfully, your nano-intellect saves me bothering to waste anymore time on this post, as you are doubtless rather busy with the dictionary just reading this.

Kiss, Kiss.

 

I just think you went too far and i think you need to stop bringing your smart mouth bro... I would say the same on front of your face... I have no reasons not to.
Obviously I dont wish for you to die anymore then anyone else... Just please do yourself a favor and shut the fuck up!
greg