GOODBYE Hearing his voice in her sleep she woke to an empty bed. Shivering slightly she covered her head and tried to sleep, unable too she sat up in bed wandering where he could’ve been. In the living room the light flickering slightly from the growing storm out she jumped as the thunder and lightening filled the sky. Wrapping herself in his shirt she pressed her face against the window and watched, hoping she might see him soon. A faint outline of a man at the end of the drive suddenly caught her attention hurrying to the door she stopped herself before running out, was it really him, could it be? Turning the knob slowly she could hear him calling to her finally she gasped and jerked the door open as she started to run. Calling out to him she soon found herself standing there alone and wet. Had she not really seen him? Sadly returning inside she sat on the couch sobbing to her self. The phone ringing disturbed her thoughts, she thought about just letting it ring and returning to her daydream but it might be him. Hurrying to answer the phone she eagerly said hello and waited, nothing but silence on the other end. It must be the storm the connection sometimes gets messed up during storms. Stupid cell phones she thought and cursed and stomped her way back. Picking up the picture of them on her way she laid down and stared at. Waking up in her room she was confused about what had happened, how did she end up back in her here? Remembering as she walked to her closet and pulling out a dress she knew it was time. Hearing the car pull up outside she dressed quickly and ran out, only to be greeted by a friend. The drive there they were both silent, he offered a sympathetic smile. Returning her gaze to the road ahead she wanted to know where she would go from here, empty and lonely how would she manage to survive without him? Shed figure it out along the way she’d hoped and smiled to herself. Pulling up to the cemetery she took a deep breath and stepped out of the car, goodbye love. AFTER THOUGHTS Scratch my eyes out & blur my vision; distorted images are all I ever saw. Give me the finger and scream fuck you walking away leaving me lying in the ground, body cold and undisturbed. Kicking dirt as you walked away spitting and cursing, beating yourself up. I giggle watching you from below, secretly wanting to pull you down and scream that it was only a joke. I'd laugh harder as you pissed yourself and screamed back in horror. Laughing harder I reach and grab air, nothing. God damn it I’m losing it, oh wait I've already lost it. Laying in this casket talking to myself, what the hell is wrong with me? Shouldn't I be somewhere? Or is this it? Is this the end, lying in the cold ground thinking you're insane laughing at the mourners as they cry and sob about the loss? Well fuck you; I need my goddamned rest. ALWAYS WAITING She sat staring down at the little life they had created. Always showing him pictures of his daddy telling him he would return soon. Years passed as they would sit and wait still. Big brown eyes stare up at her aged faced. Soon she would say quietly, he’d smile and hold his mothers hand, as they would stare down the drive.
Kinda sad. Something in us loves martyrs. But I never wanted to be one. We must move on. Always. I'd love to see this trio as a poem but with a much more aggressive bent to it. Take charge and leave the past behind. Do it belligerently.
