Revrand Naykid's PastaFarian Sunday school for Pagans

Don't worry--be happy.


This concludes todays sermon.

Please leave money in the basket on the way out.

 

do you make one of these every sunday or am i just experiencing major deja vu???

 

3 in a row so far. they'r usually longer than this.


*holds collection plate in front of Alex*


So how was your Birthday A?

 

here i have no coins, wanna have some left over birthday cake with me?? theres only a lil bit left....its double chocolate

my birthday kinda sucked....a few people forgot
and i no longer have any friends so it was just me and my ma

she got me black kimino, its so hot
and i got a good book.
but life goes on, birthdays are so odd

want some milk with the cake?

 

naykidape

im a big fan of yours

i just wanna add that.

 

Any thing double chocolate is a sure thing.

Sorry your birthday lagged. If it makes you feel any better I don't really have any friends I hang with either (I'm on the road most of the time and this year I landed in tweeker country for the winter so I'm being a recluse).

Kimonos are hot (pics?). I'm kind of a oriental kick right now, food and movies mostly.

No milk please, got any coffee?

 

:& Thanx Alex.

I'm glad you're still here.

 

oh god, i'll always be here. im not going anywhere haha
although many have left or just dont post as much anymore

im more of a tea person, but ill make some coffee for ya

I think you should enlighten us on the pastafarian ways, so you can pick up more supporters ya know

 

Well, Pasta Farianism was founded by a Bongloadian monk during the great oregano famine of 420.


All the oregano plants died in a frost that year and since the people of Bongloadia lived almost exclusively on Itallian food and pretzels everyone in the kingdom was sufferring from a debilatating blandness.

Bongloadian legend has it that one of the monks, St. Anchovie of Pesto, prayed for a miracle.

He fasted for 6 weeks, living almost exclusively on pretzels and beer, and at the end of his fast...he had a vision;...
(to be continued)

 

According to Bongloadian scripture St. Anchovie saw the hand of God outstretched over the horizon and as he watched, the fingers on God's hand became green and leafy.

Then he heard a voice from on high coughing and then saying one word--" 'ERE"

After Anchovie awoke from his vision he took a walk on the beach and found a plant washed up on the shore, a plant with five leaves arranged like the fingers on a mans hand.

Recognizing this plant as the hand of God from his vision, St. Anchovie took the seeds from this plant and carefully planted them in the garden of the monestary.

Well, soon as the plants started to bud the monks started using them in place of oregano and soon they began to notice the people of the kingdom seemed happier and more laid back then they had ever been.
(to be continued)

 

St. Anchovie is my great great granddad uncle cousin! We're tight.

 

lmao

haha did you just make all that up???
i highly enjoyed that, i'll join your cult now

 

The pastafarian religion is a scam. Everyone knows St. Anchovie died in the early 10th century. The Bongloadian culture was overpowered by the Mescalian Dynasty for over 300 years, forcing all of their scripture and sabbath into flames during the Great Mescalian Book Burning of 1196. Naykidape just wants us to send him money to fund his dental paste pyramid scheme.

 

Many present day stoners can trace their linage back to Anchovie. Or to the legendary Knights of Pesto who took part in the great quest to recover the Sacred Bong of Jahs-us.

 

Hmmmm, does that mean we're related and can't go out on our God searching date?? Cause I'd be bummed.

 

Or so the Mescalianians would have you believe.
Modern Archeologists have pretty conclusuvely proven through carbon resin testing that the Great Mescalian Book Burning of 1196 was actually a just a hallucination shared by 4 mescalianian teenagers in their parents basement.

 

Pasta Farian guidelines on these things are pretty flexable. It's Ok to be related as long as you don't remember who you're related to.

 

Alright, I admit, the Mescalian's perception of time was a bit skewed, the 300-year rule over Bonglodia was actually only about 15-minutes. But, I know for a fact that the Sacred Bong of Jahs-us was seized by the Knights of Rustytrombonia after the Opium War but just before the Coca War.

 

True, but the Sacred Bong was then seized in turn by King Narconem of Da'man who later coverted to PastaFarianism after a vision and a messy divorce.

 

Welcome to the fold sister Alex! *baptises Alex with Holy Bong water*