I dont know if it is social phobia or what? I do have mental illness though. It all has to do with the nervous system. I was pushed around all the time and basically a social outcast. People telling me im weired, stupid, ugly, clothes are no good and not worth being friends with. Man society can be so cruel to people if they dont conform to a certain standard. Now i cant even function in a work inviroment, i get so stressed out in groups that i cant think or do anything right, no matter how hard i try, just cant figure out how to control the fear. Maybe im just a born coward, i dont know. When somebody comes down on me for doing something wrong weather it be a boss or anybody else i just get all stresses feeling inside and go on the defensive. I hate the way i feel and act at times. When i look back in my life all i can see is the abuse that came from other kidds and teachers. Things realy messed with my head. I dont think some people really realize the damage they do when they beat on and pick on others. but then again alot of them dont care. Now i just take my medication to help me cope and sit in this room on my computer basically feeling worthless alot of the times but i get by. i dont give up on staying alive. I have basically come to the conclusion that it is the people who pick and bring people down who are the real cowards, they cant except defferences. It's not the people who are week either that are cowards, it's the people who pick on the weak. Bullies always seem to go for the weakest person they can find. My confession though, I am weak and really afraid of groups of people and on here i can talk, but when i see people face to face it just seems like i cant think of anything to talk about and then im considred anti social.
wow, i almost thought this was a thread written by someone who knows me, describing me. I am mentally ill, live alone and only leave apartment once a day. 3d i dont talk much at all. at times i am not able to talk to people in 3d. walmart and big busy stores i do not go to. i would like to, only causes panic, paranoia, even the check out lanes at small stores bring on anxiety and panic when busy and crowded. i start sweating real bad & get real hot like my skin is on fire in groups. I have trouble talking in groups of even common people it sounds like all the people are talking at once and i cant keep up with who i am trying to talk to so i run away and then wonder i said the wrong things or i made any sense what i said, it suks!
im in the same boat Rx but im getting better and you two can get better, all it takes is hard work and a little valium.
thanx, agree alot of work.....lol...been on valium for 11years daily now. seems the 40mg/d likes of baby asprin
I think your problem is that you lack confidence. People pick on you and such, which puts ur confidence at or below zero. When you don't have confidence in yourself, everything seems difficult. You are constantly worrying about saying the right things in crowds and about how you present yourself, etc. The only solution is to gain confidence and to believe in yourself >as cheesy as this sounds, it's very true, trust me on this< How do you do this? Keep yourself occupied. Shunning yourself from the world won't do anything. You need to start each day with a positive attitude. Don't think of it as "just another day." Think of it as you grabbing that day by the balls and living it. Don't wait for life to happen, make it happen. The next thing is instead of getting sad, get angry. When someone makes fun of you, don't go into immediate depression, brush it off and mumble to yourself "stupid jackass" It's extreamly hard to do >converting your sadness into anger that is and not letting things get to you< I had to train myself to do it because I realized that sitting down and crying and receiving people's sympathy got me nowhere. Sulking around being sorry for myself didn't solve my problems. I had to solve them myself. Now, instead of asking for sympathy, I ask for advice. Now, I'm living life awesomely and find it to be fun. I've gotten involved in life, i keep myself busy, i make time for myself to do things i like to do, I hang out with friends, and I laugh. Laughing is a remedy that can heal anything. If you don't have friends, the only way you can make them is to get out and do stuff. Sign up for the speech team at school. This will give you all the elements of confidence. Good Luck, and I hope you recover. __________________________ Success is Never Final, and Failure Never Fatal.
This may not be the best advise ever, but I dealt with pretty much the same "people phobia" and antisocialness by taking loads of stimulant drugs like speed, coke and E. You completely loose your fear in the high, and in fact rejoice in conversation with complete strangers, ideas for conversations coming to you at breakneck speed. I met loads of people while high from age 16-18. I've had to stop now, about a year ago. It was hard to stop and drugs do come with all their own problems, but the social circle I have built up through being high is long-lasting. Now i feel secure with the people I met, I'm not paranoid about any of them. I supposed that wouldnt have worked if I was still afraid to talk to people I already knew and was used to. Drugs can fuck you up, especially if your stupid about it, but It'd be way more fun to be high and exploring the world and it's inhabitants rather than worried to leave your house.
i know how you feel, even on here after i send a pm sometimes, im like. Did i say the right thing, did i explain myself right. Or i will sometimes worry about my post on here, even though i dont do anything illegal. Sometimes i edit my post just because i said a certain word. I have been told i overreact to things and worry to much. Im always afraid im going to ofend somebody or not explain myself correctly. Maybe im just to hard on myself. In reality i feel people should say how they feel inside and if others dont like it, oh well.
overreact.....something i know about all 2 well. i sometimes, well alot- do overreact which is the 1 thing i do that leads me into having thing go on & on & on through my mind 4 hours. like the energizer bunny thumping the subject through my head till i get on a new subject.....ex/ the reply witth the word "sympathy" in it iis stuck in my head now in a way of that i never asked to feel or b like this and all the while i am automatically misread as feeling sorry for mysel and want sympathy. i dont need anyone to feel sorry for my ass :$ . i am dx ocd and other mi's & so i figure if i am in a major depression my ability 4 self condfidence is crap so easy to preach when coming of someone elses dna btw--give yourself credit rebel that u do send pm's i am still 2 new and shy 2 send any pm yet. peace
You can learn to be yourself in front of people...and you can learn to be confident.. I just wanna let you know that you are not the only one out there that feels awkward in public places around lots of people...i always feel weird..or shy..or self concious..but i dunno...i just do things anyways..and sometimes i feel stupid , but i figure what the hell..who cares.. right.. everyone i think feels afraid sometimes..but you gotta go out and socialize anyway..because you want to right..you wanna meet alot of heady people.. alot of kids picked on me in school too..all thru grade school and highschool...hehe i remember they used to call me ruth the tooth..lol cuz i had crooked teeth ... it's funny to me now..i know kids are mean..and man in h.s. the popular rich little catholic girls would make up rumors about me..man..it was ridiculous...but i look back now...and think...it was all just lessons learned.. good luck man...i know u will be able to conquer this fear...
you can boost your mental confidence a lot by just thinking about how creatively you have used your mind to have made it this far... i also struggle with the same problem easy to say but hard to learn positivity and love for yourself and others is the road wow what beautiful group of people i have stumbled upon here..
Wow, thats something how you mentioned about teeth. In school they used to call me fangs. I had two teeth that came straight out on the sides. I laugh about what they said to me to now. It's really something what some kids will find about a person to tease them.:sunglasse If i get out around people after awhile if im acepted i will start getting comfortable.
I used to be afraid of large groups too, because I had no confidence. I slowly became more exposed to large groups of people, and eventually, I grew to learn that people actually liked me a lot, and I could fit in with a crowd. Now I've gone antisocial again, but for different reasons. I've gotten too cocky, and accepted that I can fit in with mostly any group, because most people around me are dumb and easy manipulated. Although people perceive me as a very kind-hearted person, I get very annoyed with people in large groups, and just don't like them. So now, I can handle groups of 1-3 people, and that's it.
I dont like large crowds of people, I get un easy, and kinda feel superior sometimes. But i look like sasquatch or a neanderthal so maybe its that reason.
