alright, last night me and my friend nick ate some shrooms. he ate an eighth and i ate an eighth + 2 grams of shroom dust. so this 5 grams is the most i've ever eaten, we dosed around 11:15, and by 1150 it kicked in. it started out like a normal trip, swirls, breathing walls, colors being fucked up, the usual. then around 1230 i started feeling sick, so i went to the bathrooms, tehn back to my room and i almost puked ( i never have puked on shrooms before). then i layed down and turned the lights out, and nick was askin me to do something, but i couldn't get up. the next thing i know i am sitting in a ball at 2am and nick is saying, "jesse...jesse...hey..hey jesse...say something" and i was like "what the fuck is going on...where am i...who am i...somehting bad happened...whats going on" he's like "jesus christ dude are you fucking with me" i was like "no...yes...fucking with who?" so nick thinks we have both gone crazy, and he needs to call someone sane, so he calls our friend eric, he doens't pick up, he calls another erik, doesn't pick up, then he calls his sister, and he's like "jesse is freaking the fuck out he doesn't remember who he is or where he is." she's like "don't worry he'll come down you guys are on mushrooms it'll where off. Keep in mind i didn't beleive any of this was happening while it actually was, i didn't know what to think, a dream maybe. so nick thinks i'm fucking with him so he is gonna go to bed, so he gets out some weed and my bowl and takes a hit, and it makes my room reek, so i'm like "what the fuck are you doing don't smoke.'' hes like smoke dude you'll feel better, but i refused outright. so i freak out on him and make him put the shit away, and he goes to bed. i am just laying in my bed, nto knowing who i am or where i am. then i start to die. like, i oculd feel my being deteriorating, it felt like i was backwards sort of, i could feel my fingers bend all the way back with no pain, like they were detaching from my body, i touched my hair and i thought it was falling out, but i was actually just pulling on it lol. i could feel my body regressing to near nothing, i could sense people were sort of ashamed of me because of what i did to myslef, but i didn't care at all. later i began to {realize} that people were nothing, and its possible everything was in my imagination, the world, other people, the universe. it felt like everything was over, and i couldn't go back. i was a little uneasy about never being able to go to school, talk, walk, see anyone ever again, but it seemed like it was meant to be. my body began to sort of liquify and i was slowly becoming nothing, and it was like i was in a time loop, becasue thats what death was feeling like, like i was trapped in a thought that was just repeating for ever and eternity, and that was it, i would just be a deformed non-existent yet existing life form that would just watch as the universe was ending, but be stuck in it forever. i looked around, and i noticed my clock read 330, but it didn't register that it was the clock in my room, i saw my led zeppelin poster on my wall spin over my head and then i died, became nothing, and would forever be trappped lying there staring at the wall, not thinking yet always thinking. it was crazy. nick woke up around 4 and chekced on me, and i was still in the daze, he was like are you out of it yet, and i didn't respond so he gave up. i woke up at 930 in the morning and nick was like, are you fucking sober yet, and i was like, "there is no way that was fucking real!" i was convinced it was a dream and nick really hadn't smoked, used my cell phone, called his sister, or anything. i checked my cell phone, and sure enough there were 5 outgoing calls between 130 and 245. the only part that really sucked is that i was so fucked up i pissed in my sleep ( or trip), but i took care of that and recolected on the trip a lot. i really learned a lot about myself (kind of lol) and i have a completely new philosophy on what death is, and i am not scared of it at all anymore. it was a good trip
Wow, it's awesome when people can actually describe their trip like you did. Seeing how you really got something out of it all and (kind of) lol, learned a lot about yourself, makes my desire to trip acid even stronger.
The higher dose range of mushroom trips can be pretty chaotic indeed... sometimes very hard to come to terms with afterwards, but usually very beneficial. Thinking you're going/have just gone crazy is a catalyst for a bad trip. Always make sure you don't think about it, because there is no reason to think about it anyway. Negative thoughts, begone!
one thing i dont like about boomers is how it gets 'dreamy' and you cant always remember all the parts of the experience.. and your not even sure if that really happened or not.. acid is a little different.. acid for me tends to feel more like deja vu instead of a dream...
the relevance of the name of this thread "first ego loss" is pretty self explanitory, it was the first time i experienced ego loss on a trip, something i have been hoping for the last 4 times i did shrooms.
its when you exsist as more of your 'soul' then your 'personality'... your fears, desires, goals, ambitions, etc etc... are gone and your just in exsistence.. quite often just as awareness itself
exactly what last chord said, thats exactly how i felt while i was "dying", like if someone asked me my name in the midst of that, (assuming i was in any state to respond) i could have probably said jesse with no problem, but i didn't have a thing on my mind besides what was going on, i was dying, and no other emotions or feelings or anything like that was there
its one of the most incredible feelings when you 'shift' with mushrooms.. for me... my body either starts to turn into like jello.. or it turns into some sorta of a 'solid' foriegn substance... and its the most incredible release of pressure and tension and whatnot when you break free of reality (with eyes closed this is) i love it.. usually can feel it in your head.. you all of a sudden feel like your head is this freely moving thing that is incircling 'you'.. then you can slip right out... I had quite the experience a week or 2 ago and I find quite often these 'shifts' come along with a burning smell.. (like that people talk about during near death experiences.. and shit) i always tend to freak out at 1st thinking omg i knocked a candle over... but one time it came across to me... as being my brain/filter/whatever overheating.. shorting out...
