Euphemisms for Masturbating

There are so many aren’t there? There’s one that’s so funny I chuckle to myself whenever I think of it. I’ll reveal it but first I’d like to hear from some of my fellow self fondlers. So what’s your favorite?

 

I go by the commonly used "self-pleasure".

 

I like "having myself" ... in fact, I LOVE having myself -- I'm doing it again right now ...

 

My latest is having a bate session.

 

Jerking off and sometimes fap for me. When talking with a(very) close woman friend, I say playing with myself.

 

Punching the munchkin like it's a hate crime. Beating that thing like it owes me money.

C/S,
Rev J

 

Beating the bishop with a five finger shuffle

 

Haha! That’s what I was looking for. How about some others?

 

Choking the chicken

 

How about jerking off, wanking, squeezing one off and my favorite,...Taking Henry to the circus!!

 

Five knuckle shuffle..

 

One man arm wrestling, playing one string air guitar. Doing the secret handshake.

C/S,
Rev J

 

Rosie palm

 

Yanking my crank
Spanking the monkey
Slap my salami
Pet my lizard
Playing pocket pool

 

Bopping the Bishop!

 

Doing the circle jerk.

 

Waxing the candle

 

Flying solo. Mamma Thumb and her four daughters. Or Papa Thumb, etc. I like to call it amusing myself, self-amusement as an update of self-abuse in the long-ago Boy Scout Manual? I did write two friends "I had a jolly fine wank two days in to my 81st year, maybe just to prove something." Oh so English. Oh so good.

 

Jacking off