Who are you more forgiving to?

I heard recently that women are much more forgiving of strangers, where as men are much more forgiving of loved ones.

Women are more less patient with loved ones, men less patient with strangers.

 

i think i'm most patient with people i know sort of. i don't have time for patience with everyone i've never met, and loved ones have already used up their patience quota.

 

Why? If you mind me asking.

I wish i was more like you in that way. Though i'm a lot better now, when i was younger i was much more vindictive.

 

I have to agree with you there. It slipped into my vocabulary because of a good friend, and the funniest thing is that he will respond "awesome", in a flat, deadpan voice, about nothing more special than "Here's a sandwich"... or something. It'd be an okay word if it only ever got used for things that were genuinely awe-inspiring.

 

i've definitely had a few awe-inspiring sandwiches in my life.

 

I think on occasion i've let people remain in my life when they didnt really have any business being there simply because I couldnt work up the energy to be too bothered by whatever wrong they did

Overall though, I think the ability to forgive and forget easily is a useful trait

 

Removing people from your life who I bad for you doesn't have to mean you hold a grudge.

For instance, someone cheats on you. To me, forgiving them is acknowledging that it's their life and they have the right to do whatever they want, even if want they want hurts you. But I'd still kick them out and move on. Holding a grudge is holding on to hurt. Forgiving them is more about yourself.

 

Very true and I completely agree. But I would probably end up being friends with the cheating ex lol. Well, maybe not if he cheated on me but i've stayed friends with exes before who I probably should have cut out. I have a hard time letting people go which probably isnt always a good thing but oh well. I've accumulated quite the collection of ex boyfriends turned buddies because of it

 

: )
That's actually really nice.
But yeah, you have to know you can put your foot down if someone starts to take advantage.

 

I would say correct about the arrogance thing, I’m American and from the southeast where most have good manners. I have encountered so many people over the past 20 years that think they are just wonderful and would love to tell you about it. I think I’m too forgiving of those types although all I can do is grin when they start up and nod my head telling them “that’s just wonderful.”

 

Judgmental people are my least favorite people to be around. I suppose we are all judgmental since the previous sentence makes me judgmental..
I have a hard time forgiving judgmental people.

 

Yeah, I guess the thing I have with that is that whenever anyone starts to tell me what kind of person they are, like "I'm the kind of person who does xyz" I always think: I'LL decide what kind of person I think you are. You just BE it. So maybe with the self-confidence/acknowledgement of achievements thing, it's best to be aware yourself of your achievements, impress yourself, become someone you can develop a high opinion of, and do... but then let other people praise you for what they see, if they want, rather than telling them what they should be praising.

We make judgments for ourselves.. it goes bad when people think the judgments they've made for themselves should apply to everyone else. I don't think not wanting to be around that makes you judgmental : )

 

Good manners are overrated. I'll take the boastful person who can back their words up.

 

I prefer manners. I don't need some rude person talking rudely and belittling someone just because that's the way they are. Please and thank you. Not hard. People without manners are extremely bothersome for me.

 

I don't like rude people either.

I don't care for good manners but i don't behave rudely either.

 

I believe manners tells you a lot about the person, how they've grown up, what they appreciate in life etc. At the end of the day though, the most important attribute to mannerisms for me is its a reflection on how people think or feel of you.

If I ask how you are and I receive a grunt and a groan like it's too much effort to talk about, then that pretty much solidifies our relationship very quickly. There'll be no relationship because they couldn't find it within themselves to treat me proper.

 

I've experienced enough to understand there is much more to a person than what they present outwardly to others.

 

That's all good, then you're educated enough to know that sometimes actions speak louder than words

Another thing I've learned too about manners is, well I don't date guys, but I am very attentive in watching how a man treats his mother, because that's how they're going to treat their girl to a degree.

Had a good friend, this goes against everything I said, I /was/ friends with him, until I went overseas with him but anyway, good guy just an asshole. Didn't respect anyone or anything no mannerisms at all. Talked to his parents like they were rubbish treats his girl the same way. I don't know how or why she does it. They bicker a lot. It's toxic it really is but the writing was on the wall. It was all there in the observations of how this guy treats everyone.

 

Yep. I also pay attention to what they say about other people. Are they constantly gossiping about others behind their backs? Are they always a "victim?" Everything is always someone else is fault, never their own.