"Rainy Day Lives" by Garfield N. Morgan The crying clouds hang dark with gloom And we spend another afternoon, Playing cards inside a hotel room; With hopes the sun will come round soon. And in our mouths, linger the taste, Of the fickle love we made in haste. While all the seeds we spilled in waste, Ensure nothing around us remains chaste. The crying clouds all grieve in shame. The thunderclaps erase our names. And the lightning on our naked frames, Stills photographs of what remains. And stills somehow, the evidence; For the fruit of both our discontents Threatens to ripen with pretence, In spite of our penitence. And with the cards predicting what may come We plan to counter with our tongues, But we know that when it comes undone, Ours was never harmless fun.
Intense work, here! Usually consistent rhyming really distracts me and feels cliché… but this was refreshing, especially the last three stanza’s. Very impressive! Hope to see more from you
The third stanza is the kingpin here. Good work! It is tough to take on single rhyme units and do them well. You've succeeded!
Thanks all. There are some problems that have common roots and if we look back, we sometimes can see where it all began. I wish from hereon we will all have mostly sunshine in our lives. Blessed Love and much Respect.
This is one of the best rhyming poems I have read,there is something fresh about the rhyme and you seem to avoid most of the cliche's that befall the Rhyming Poet There are a couple of lines that felt awkward to me, especially the line 'Ensure nothing around us remains chaste'. But apart from that, brilliant work I think!
