420 Chatfield Lane

I've never had a pet snake but I want of these guys now. The Rainbow boa. But then I have to feed it mice. It's the circle of life. Cruel for the snake to starve too but can I do it? I don't know the guy at the reptile store said it's not a good beginner snake because they need high humidity which is the opposite of Colorado.

 

I want one of these until i learned they can't stop themselves from taking a shit.

 

My first real pet was a garter snake. It ate fish. I said one time..."I feel bad for the fish." Step-father said it's one or the other.
Never felt bad for an animal being food after that except when it's slowly being chewed alive.

 

I'm remembering why I left this site. Well, the main reason, anyway. It takes up too much of my time. When someone responds to one of my comments, I feel obligated to reply. When someone sends me a PM, I feel obligated to reply. When someone says something I disagree with, I feel obligated to express my opinion. Notification after notification after notification............it's fuckin exhausting. So, in short, I'm leaving again. Please know that this has nothing to do with any other members, and I consider most of you to be great friends, but this shit just makes me wanna rip my hair out sometimes, and it even makes me wanna eat Xanax, which would be a huge setback for me. I'm leaving for the sake of my mental health.I'll probably be back, eventually. Shit, I may even change my mind tomorrow, but I doubt it'll be that soon. I wish each of you the peace, happiness, and love you deserve. Goodbye; at least for now.

 

Stay out of random thoughts.

 

turn off notifications

or just go to the thread and choose to unfollow...i do it all the time

 

It's not just RT, dude. It's the entire site. All of the Xanax I've taken over the years has fukt up my brain, and I'm constantly more anxious than I was before I ever even ate my first Xanax. It can literally take years to recover from that shit. Look up "benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome". It's much more than simple withdrawal. Taking them the way I was taking them can alter the nervous system and the way the brain reacts to shit, and it can take years to recover from that, if ever. I really fucked myself up, dude.

 

It's not just the notifications, dude. It's not any single thing. It's a combination of a shitload of things, most of which are in my head.

 

You could try Sertraline. It's not fully known how it works but it's good for panic attacks and obsessions anxiety. I was popping a lot of benzos and was subject to random panics,but since being on a small dose of this I feel a lot better,and I'm off the benzos too.

 

You cant feel obligated to reply to everything on social media.. That's where you need to draw the line.. Ive many PM with people, they're like open letters. We'll get back to ya when convenient. With my job, stuff around the house and outside. Id hope my closest of friends understands that. Or I havent liked or quoted ya. Its just not possible..For you TNS you just came back so your friends are gonna say hi, whats up,.. One reason I didnt leave 4yrs ago as planned to move on in life with family.. Well If I didnt have this HF family, I might of manson familied my own.. j/k.. but then Id have to write more on my return.. some details in life need be left out of time.. The now.. Easier to catch the now with mobile on the go..

 

I'm assuming you weren't eating upwards of 10mg of Xanax EVERYDAY though. Many days, I would take 20mg, 30mg, 40mg, or even more than 50mg in a day, just for the fuck of it. One day, I even ate 178mg of Xanax.

​It's gonna take years to recover, but I seriously doubt my mind and body will ever fully recover.

 

Maybe better with a beta-blocker .. These lessen the adrenaline from sitting anxiety.. not the kind that limits you from jumping out the way of a car.. But when your sitting there out of nowhere thinking a car is going to crash into you.. Ask your doctor TNS..

 

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I have no icons again

 

Speaking as a southerner :rofl:

 

I simply can't stay right now, and I don't have a doctor to ask about different meds. Can't afford one. No job, because I can't be around people without eventually snapping.

​Anyway, just the simple fact that this place is making me wanna eat a handfuls of Xanax is reason enough for me to leave. It's literally not safe for me to post here, in that regard.

I appreciate you all trying to convince me to stay, but it's not healthy for me. Trust me when I say that. Love you guys.

 

aww dude I hate to hear/see you say that.

I think you are rather eloquent.

I also agree with your taste in presidents.

 

beta-blockers are very cheep and easy to get from a free clinic .. a lot of entertainers use them to calm down but not feel drugged.. check into that..

 

Nah, dude. I gotta leave this place. My reasons may seem silly or stupid to some, but it's something I gIotta do.

 

See what I mean though? I'm replying to you guys when I'm trying to leave, and it's making me more anxious. Not because of anything you guys are doing, but because of what's going on in my head. I'm literally crying right now.

​Quick and painful. Bye guys.

 

protect yourself out there