All I want is him....

and I still miss him. I try not to think about it often but when I do think of it, it requires large amounts of chocolate and plenty of sad songs to get me back to normal. I have spoken to him maybe twice just to see how he is doing. In those two conversations I have come to realize how arrogant and self-centered he really is.......and yet my feelings for him are not gone.
Today is one of those bad days, rehashing the whole thing in my mind, what I did wrong, the moments I don't wanna forget.....Its times like this that it is hard not to pick up the phone and make a complete fool of myself.

But I'd do it in a second if I thought he would come and hold me tonight

 

DAMMIT!!! I texted him


me and my stupid emotions

 

aww hon. *hugs* i have nothing constructive or helpful to say except i totally feel your pain. everything you wrote sounded exactly how i felt and what i said about a year/year and a half ago about this guy i know. it was like reading my own diary. in my case he met someone else and i walked away for months and then supported him when she dumped him in the spring. luckily i have met someone totally amazing who cares in a way he couldn't. i can only hope this guy will care for you in the way you deserve or your pain will lessen and someone else will come along that is so much better.

 

wow thats kinda deep missfontella,
im absolutly sure that its a possiblilty that he could feel the same way about you if not just considering you another type of valuable part of his life. i mean im only 16 and i may not kno as much about relationships as most but i think its worth a shot. one thing i do know is that its worth the risk to pursue futher than not say anything when he could feel the same way, which he could but like feel its no use in telling you because he may feel that he cant give you his time yet. which would be pointless to make you his but never get to see you and stuff. so if you do reveal your feelings, i would just let him know how you feel, without using words like 'boyfriend' or anything like that - its good he'll know, but if he feels like he cant love you like you very well may want to, it'll be no use for anyone.

 

its is a miserable existence to want an affection of another...a specific other... only to not have it reciprocated! such is life i guess....be happy you were able to find someone worth your affections, i live in the same part of va as you and truly the pickings are slim...enjoy what ever you have whenever you have it...cuz there may come a time when you would be happy to have someone and theor be noone around!

 

Atleast we know you're human We all need to be loved

 

shhhhhhh.....I don't want that to get out