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Untitled (very mystical)

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by iscreamchocolate, Jan 22, 2005.

  1. iscreamchocolate

    iscreamchocolate Senior Member

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    Untitled
    By Damaya

    Tree’s turning to snakes
    Coiling themselves around the sun
    Squeezing out its magical rays
    Making the sun drop its fire
    Onto a lake of shining water
    Turning the lake into a glistening fire bowl
    A fire bowl of emotions
    The fire bowl turning into a circle of water
    The circle spinning faster and faster
    Turning into a purple cloud
    The cloud transforming into a tasteless drink
    A drink sweet but strong
    A drink the color of mortals blood
    A drink that sends you motionless
    Your thoughts are racing
    Your eyes are flickering
    Your temperature flowing between cold and hot
    Until
    Nothing
    Your motionless
    Your mind is mindless
    You sink into nothingness​
     
    iscreamchocolate, Jan 22, 2005
    #1
  3. Rayeine

    Rayeine Member

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    very nice, i like it.:)
     
    Rayeine, Jan 22, 2005
    #2
  5. kidder

    kidder Member

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    It's a nice example of shape poetry. Love that concrete tree! I like the first part but once you get into creating a drink you lose me. I guess I'm not mystical enough.
     
    kidder, Jan 22, 2005
    #3
  7. sylvanlightning

    sylvanlightning Prismatic Essence

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    Wonderous, thank you.
     
    sylvanlightning, Jan 22, 2005
    #4
  9. Burbot

    Burbot Dig my burdei

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    sh'es a beaut
     
    Burbot, Jan 22, 2005
    #5
  11. iscreamchocolate

    iscreamchocolate Senior Member

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    thanks guys for the comments :)
     
    iscreamchocolate, Jan 22, 2005
    #6
  13. *peace*child*

    *peace*child* Member

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    I loved it. It reminds me of times I've been on drugs. Peace and love...
     
    *peace*child*, Jan 22, 2005
    #7
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