Wedding Rings

i can understand that, but we only went to fur cons, where everyone assumes everyone else is gay, and already taken.

 

In some settings, when my husband has his ring on, women just can't get enough of him! I've also noticed that wearing wedding bands makes us more likely to be approached by couples asking if we're into partner swapping. All things considered, I think we're better off not wearing them.

We agreed in advance that a diamond was not something we wanted to spend money on.

I wasn't interested, until I got very tired of dealing with all the different ways that the government and society punishes unmarried couples that live together. That was my only reason for making a change. I didn't change my last name or anything else about my lifestyle or the way I feel about anything or anybody.

In my state, an unmarried couple can't have a joint mortgage on a house unless it's an investment rental property and they claim to be business partners. If one of them has enough income to get the mortgage approved, the other partner's name can't be on the property deed. That's the biggest obstacle we couldn't get past. We could afford a better house in a better place, and we wanted it. Also, there are annoying medical restrictions. If I'm ever in a hospital and unable to communicate, I sure as hell don't want the doctors asking my father to make all the decisions. My husband is the one I want to trust with everything like that. Some hospitals won't even let a boyfriend visit his girlfriend in an ICU, especially if no family member has given permission.

You may think I sold out my values, but I didn't think anybody really cared what kind of a statement I was making, and I was only punishing myself for no reason.

 

Rings were important to us. We checked each others fingers all the time to make sure the rings were on, lol.

We were both to young to get married (17).

We were already living together and it was suggested that we should get married.

We looked at each other and I said yeah that sounds pretty cool. And she said yeah lets do it.

After we did it, we went shopping for wedding rings and got married.


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Here's one way how to pop the question out of the blue (with an engagement ring). And hopefully not get stabbed as soon as you land:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pNzucBfsqc

 

No, I don't think you sold out. If those were the obstacles I was facing, I would have made the same decision. My feelings towards marriage aren't militant, more apathetic. I just don't think it proves anything about your relationship.

 

I get that and if we ever do get married it will be for similar reasons and done quietly without fanfare. The thought of everyone fawning over my ring and trying to help me plan the wedding makes me really cringe. I guess it isn't marriage I oppose, just all the extraneous traditional bs that is expected before you even make it to the altar. And I guess I like the idea of being able to leave easily - which may sound cold and like I'm not committed in my relationship but that isn't really the case - but I am a realist and know divorces can be very messy and very expensive.

 

We went to New Orleans, just the two of us. I wore a black dress, we hired some jazz street musicians and a Voodoo priest on short notice, and our wedding guests were whoever happened to be in Jackson Square at that moment. We rode away in a horse drawn carriage, which are always available at the Square.

Still? After all these years? I'm over that. Making it too easy seems kind of like planning to fail, which usually leads to failure. To succeed at anything big, you have to be all in.

But... when somebody says they would never get a divorce, I think they have too high of an opinion of their own ability to predict the long term future.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daxiMb0rITA



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLN1QnhsJLE

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eL7ETLLkQTY

 

I've been on both sides of this. I lived with a guy before, for several years. We didn't get married, and it didn't last. I think I handled that situation the best way. I would recommend living with somebody at least 2 or 3 years before contemplating legal paperwork and combined finances.

At times I'd rather not have on a wedding band, and at other times I wish mine was a lot bigger, if you know what I mean. In some places and social settings, maybe I need a big neon sign that says, "Creeps and lounge lizards, leave me the fuck alone!" At other times, a little harmless flirting can be fun. Also, I want to make a confession here. Sometimes on out of town trips where we know we'll never see any of the people again, I lie and tell random folks in bars and restaurants that we aren't married, just living together. Married sounds so boring and conventional and traditional, and I don't want to give fun, cool people the wrong first impression of me. I'm not conventional at all, and I don't want to get into a long explanation of NC banking regulations in a bar with a live band. So I lie.

Every straight woman wants to get some sort of positive feedback from men, especially when she's past 30, but not from disgusting men. This next point is sort of hard to explain without sounding like a self-absorbed ass, so if I blow it, I apologize in advance. You know that in the South, it isn't uncommon for middle aged women to more or less give up on their appearance. They put on an unhealthy amount of weight, always dress frumpy and practical or comfortable, have a frumpy hairstyle that only impresses their boring friends, and have facial expressions and body language that communicate to the world, "I no longer care about anything but being a good mom. I forgot how to have a good time 20 years ago." If you're a middle aged woman who does not give off this vibe, you're sometimes going to get more attention from men than you want. And it's usually all the wrong men. This is when I want to flash a wedding band and say firmly, "Not on the market."

My husband is in a parallel situation. I think he looks very good for his age, but young hot girls look past him like he's an inanimate object, while divorced and desperate fatties with kids to put through college are all over him, every chance they get. Sometimes I pick on him a little about that. At least we're able to laugh about it.

 

^ I definitely plan to use the ring my partner gave me for my birthday as a defense mechanism. I'm pretty good at subtly transferring it from my right hand to my left when need be.

 

This still happens a lot. I know a few gay couple who got married as then they have more security as far as joint assets and life decisions. A civil contract even drawn up by lawyers is not considered binding here if contested, especially regarding medical proxy. There have been numerous cases of common law that if the family objects the doctors will defer to them and a legal ruling by a judge is required to reverse it. Insane.

Not selling out, rather it is a further protection in case you do need it.

 

That is fuckawesome.

 

My husband cold forged my ring from a silver quarter. It isn't anything at all my dream ring or really what I ever thought I wanted, but now it only leaves my finger when it starts to swell and daily after work for a few minutes so I can clean the dough out of it. It's not elegant or really all that eye-catching, there's no stone or anything. But it is the only real romantic gesture he's EVER done on his own merit without my pushing or hinting at all. It means the fucking world to me because of that. He made himself one out of a silver dollar, but he never really finished it and he doesn't wear a ring because of the possibility of degloving his finger. It's not that likely in his line of work but it's a slightly realer possibility than a lot of other jobs. I don't mind, without insurance, it's a lot easier to not pay for emergency surgeries.

 

My first one got smashed, I use to wear it a lot. The second one is a copper band with turquoise chips we found in Arizona in a road side stand. Now I just wear it when I know I'm just going to be pretty. My wife wears her's a lot more maybe 75% of the time.
I do notice women are a lot more friendly when I have my ring on. I tell my wife it's cuz she's so beautiful it make other women think they must have missed seeing something in me. hahahaa

 

Good answer.

 

I'm a little disappointed with the engagement ring I gave my girl because after a little while a mark appeared on the inside, like she had rubbed off the polish of white gold and two cracks could be seen. When we took it in of course they denied any wrong doing and I said clearly I can see clearly what has happened. This ring was for somebody else and you've had it resized then tried to cover it up quickly and now we've worn down that layer and we can see what you've done. -.- so they dipped it again for us and sorted that out but I wasn't very happy with them. Feels like I went cheap, and it wasn't. But that's what it felt and looked like.

 

Man, I wish there was a "Hug" button alongside that "Like" button.
That sounds shitty.

They should've given you a brand new one.

Bastards.

 

I know right! I got the pair at discount too. And that's probably the reason but I also got the wedding ring with it too. It was just a cute subtle white gold with small diamonds. We don't like anything too big or too fancy and this was perfect for her so I bought the combination.

We know now why it was discounted. -.-

 

I clicked Like this time, but I still meant "Hug".

I got my wife something more intricate, but my ring is a very simple thing.

 

My parents never wear theirs. Then again they had careers that required having sterile hands at all times. Myself I've never been engaged and I can never get used to wearing jewelry.