People In Love Make Me Bitter

But youll end up with one of those unoriginal dudebros becuase you always sit and wait for the guys to chase

 

How do you know so much about relationships, VG? Are you the love guru? Teach me.

I have had three boyfriends in my entire life, and they've been back to back. I have tended to take a more passive role in the past, that's true, but I've always been in a relationship and left it for someone else. It's obviously unhealthy and I'm trying to break that pattern. I'm not worrying about chasing anyone right now. There have been a few chasers since my last breakup, but I've turned them down in favor of getting back to me. I feel like that's progress, because I used to be charmed by anyone who liked me.

Doing the chasing is scary. I don't know how guys do it, honestly. I have zero experience in such things. I know I need to go for what I want when I find it, though. I'm just not ready. Need to clear the bats out of the bell-tower first.

 

TV obviously. Just take a closer look at what he generally is conveying. It's all clichés and stereotypes (yes, stereotypes and clichés exist for a reason, no that reason is not that they apply on everyone and fit every situation).

 

I was wondering what made him such an expert on you and what you do actually. I wasn't aware he knew you outside of hf. And if he doesn't, why the hell does he think he knows what you will choose to do.

 

We do not know each other outside of HF. It's just his way. He's not shy about letting people know what he thinks. I don't feel targeted or anything. I like using this place to bounce ideas off, so I've put a lot out there and he's read and contributed to some of those posts. Some people have been following my ongoing saga of love and insanity struggles over the last few years. I'm kind of coming out of a quarter-life crisis, lol. I'm not one to blame the victim, but in this case, I have literally asked for it.

 

I think vanilla is amusing. I'm not sure his intentions are to be taken seriously.

 

VG just likes to add the creamy dressing of cynicism to the salad of Hipforums conversation

 

I think especially if your relationships have had co-dependent tendencies, it's generally recommended to wait until you're ok with just being you before you get back into a relationship.

 

I agree. I'm feeling really okay alone for the first time in a while recently. It's nice. I feel like I'm almost back to 100%...

My plan tonight is to lay in bed and watch scary movies till my eyes drop out. I'm ecstatic to just be doing that. Haven't done it since I was a kid. I have barely thought about what the old ex and his new lady are up to all night, and now that it's crossing my mind, it's not disturbing me. It's kind of like "yeah? and? none of my business. back to movies that he never let me watch while we were together." There were times where I was so shattered, I never thought I would make it to this point. I thought I would rather die in his arms than ever let him go. For me to be okay right now, just me and the kitty, in my apartment that I pay for by myself, curled up watching movies on a Friday night when everyone else is out partying, it's just... more than I knew I was capable of.

I still get pissed off or depressed about the past, and I still get scared that something bad will happen again, but I feel like I've lived through the worst that's going to happen to me, and I'm still here, and I know better now, and I'm stronger. I don't eat shit and say thank you anymore. I'm not going to settle. I'm going to be honest about what I want and what I don't now that I know what those things are. I really have no fear that I'm just going to get into a relationship just because I'm lonely. The idea of being stuck with someone who is wrong for me, cultivating feelings for them and then having to endure a painful separation, does not seem worth it in the slightest. I would rather have nothing than nothing masquerading as something. Been there done that. Never again.

 

People in love make you bitter? I love to butter up and I suppose I could find some bitters to give you so you can be bitter anytime without having to think about love but it wouldn't be an enjoyable chore necessarily. You might be a little light on the statistical sampling.

 

Why do you still talk to him???

 

Becuase you are all so predictable

And it burns Asmo and he's in total denial you gals are all so predictable

 

Looks like cream, not actually cream though, something a bit more salty

 

Lolololol you had to go there...

Ash, I talk to him because we're friends. We were friends before we dated and that hasn't changed. I've had my time and space away from him after the breakup. We tried going our separate ways, but as much as trying to be friends hurt, cutting each other out completely sucked so much worse... I'm friends with my ex from before him too. I dunno I guess the kinds of connections I make with people are difficult to sever unless that person is actively doing something to hurt me. My friendships run deep, yo. I'm kind of weird and on my own wavelength and when I find people on a similar one that I can really connect with, it's a rare find. It's one of the reasons I clung to the relationship so much longer than I should have... But this is okay the way it is. I'm finally realizing in my heart of hearts that it's better this way. It took so long, but my heart has finally caught up with my head. He was no good for me. We had white-hot chemistry but nothing in common. Plus he's kind of a Polly Pissypants in a lot of situations and I'm really glad I don't have to deal with that shit anymore. Let his new gal deal with it. Hope she puts him in his place, lol.