Emotional Infidelty

I was just teasing Ace before...he knows that, i hope he does anyway....problem with just typing your stuff with other people, is that alot gets lost in the translation.....expression, facial expression, tone of voice, etc.....

 

many women turn to other men at work for emotional support


some even turn to message boards


your life isnt over....leave her now

 

.

 

i do.

it sounds like this chick enjoys the money and sex the OP provides ... but that she likes some other person for some other qualities.

 

this is priceless.....completely unfair.....but priceless.......ive seen some older broads get pretty goddamned wet when young dudes pay attention to them.......i believe it is absolutely an equal thing among all ages and demographics.....do not pick on us older men

 

Get over it. If she's going to leave you, she will.

Honestly, stop being so clingy.

Clinging will only make her pull her further away.

Show her that you are better than anything she can find elsewhere.

 

Have you talked to your girl about how you feel about this guy? Have you told her that her relationship with him makes you very uncomfortable? If you have, and she hasn't done anything to change her behavior or acknowledge how you feel (in other words, hasn't made any attempt to tone it down with this dude) then I think you need to sit down and seriously re-think your relationship with this woman.

Having crushes on people is very natural, however if the crush makes your partner jealous or insecure in any way, then it should be sabotaged.

Jealousy is one of the most uncomfortable and unpleasant feelings in the world. It can hit you like a fucking ton of bricks, sometimes when you least expect it. I would never intentionally do anything to make my partner feel jealous, and if it happens unintentionally, then we just talk about it and do what we need to do to help the feeling pass.

 

Fair assessment Drumminmama.

The years have certainly dulled the excitement. What makes me unhappy is that she seems to be ignoring this reality and it's like this guy has the best personality around and I should be emulating him for things to be exciting again.

It's like she's forgetting that she doesn't have to deal with challenges of raising a family, expenses that need to be paid, unfriendly in-law,etc when interacting with an acquaintance/friend at work. Things that don't necessarily fan excitement in a relationship.

Of course if you connect with someone at work it will be exciting but it mustn't that your husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend of years is now useless.

I think she is trying to hide that she's got a colleague that she likes a lot but she is failing dismally. She works with a number of people but 80% of the time when she is talking about work, it's this dude. It's making me so angry!

 

The getting 'creative' part seems to be expected from my end only.

Isn't it supposed to be a two way street?

 

I have hinted that I am not excited about it. But she's like I am not doing anything wrong...

 

Wow she actually said that? I hate to break it to you hun, but it doesn't sound like this woman cares about your needs at all.

 

I take no issue against ''older'' in this case

I admit as an older male I am easily distracted...

''SQUIRREL''



by the female form


My point was that women are also easily distracted.....aren't they?

 

Sorry, let me rephrase so that I'm more accurate.

She says there is nothing. No need to worry. There is absolutely nothing to worry about.

 

Thanks mama.

 

I know this happened months ago, but I am currently going through the same thing with my husband of 11yrs. My husband feels like I have been distant and angry towards him for the last year and 2 months ago started talking to a girl from his job. I found out and he said that she listens to him and make him feel comfortable. I am hurt. He moved out the house so that he can clear his mind. I told him that 2 months conversation with someone will seem better than a 11yrs marriage because they don't have any life together to have conflict. I told him that he can have his space to choose the other woman or his family. I don't want to force him to stay if he has an emotional connection with someone else because it can lead to something else. Currently I cry daily, he cries daily and the kids cry daily. We are praying and hope everything works out for the best. What became of your situation?

 

Hey, I know this is an old thread but I may have some insight into this situation.

OP and Hornywife, I sorry you are in this situation. Its never easy, but it will get easier. Give it time. I know you feel helpless, but you are both placing your happiness in other peoples hands. Waiting for them to choose.
OP, sounds like your partner is being played by a PUA. He will be using boyfreind destroyers along with ever other trick to make her his.
Hornywife, sounds like your husband is having his mid-life crysis. He is getting some form of attention from her,and liking it. Hows your sexlife if i may ask?

And this is where my advice comes in.... This is after you have raised your concerns, and nothing has changed. (Edit. This is after you have looked back at your relationship,and truely belive you have not done anything wrong. Assess How much effort you put in to the relationship compared to them. And if they have wondered emotionally because you havn't been there, you should realise its your fault,and change it.)

OP, do you work? If so, Do you work with any one of the other sex? If so, do what your partner has done. Go out, find another person and have an emotional affair yourselves.(Hornywife aswell,) (Someone will disagree with this, but you need to fight this fire with more fire. This is the only way to regain control,self respect and win in the end ). This is the only way your wayward spouse will even consider your feelings, once they have seen you getting all excitied when ever your 'freind' calls. When you talk about work, make 80% of that talk about your freind. And how totes amaze balls they are.......And if they say somthing about it, just say, 'well what about you and such and such..' . In all honesty, this will be a good gauge of how to proceed. If they don't care how close you have gotten to someone else, they have probably checked out of your relationships, and it will ease any breakups that happen. (Maybe also result in you having a FWB at the end of it all.)

(I will also add, and I hate to break it too you, but if its been going on for more than a month, and they have spent anytime together alone.. They have probably, 90% certain, they have done the dirty. Sorry, accept that and move on. )

Another thing to do, after the first , is get your shit together. As in your finances, Hornywife, Lawyer up, dont tell him, but do it. If not for you then for your kids, its not right for every member of the family to cry daily....
Remember, these two people have broken any sort of trust/respect that was between you two.
Also you both need to snoop. Wait for them to go for a shower and then go through there phone or somthing, you need proof that Your partners relationship with this person is more than just freinds. Evidence is the only thing that will hold up in court..lol.

Hell, even ask for there Facebook password, if they readily give it up, they are not hiding anything. If they wont, what do they have to hide.?. Same for email passwords etc.

OP, go read, The Natrual, by Richard La Ruina, (i think thats his name..) and anything else like that. Maybe some of Derek Rakes stuff.
Hornywife69, go read some of Rori Rayes stuff on her website. That stuff is gold as far as Im concerned.

Before any of this, you must both decide wheather what you have with that person is worth trying to fix....? Is it worth all that work on your behalf to bring back a wondering lover? Personally, I would of raised my concerns and if nothing happend, I would simply not take it, and breakup with them. (Remember,you are the prize..)
Emtional infidelty , in my book, is juat as bad as anything physical. Maybe worse, as emotions last longer,somtime a lifetime, and are the route of physical desire.

I wish you the best of luck.
Stay strong, live long.
All the best, Bunnyface

 

Thanks for the input.