For People With Children....

You need kids if you know you are a boring dweeb or a complete asswipe and no other humans are going to talk to you when you are 60.

Kids will talk to you cos you are family and kind of have to, and will get your money when you die

 

That is absolutely NOT a good reason to have kids!! I can tell you from experience that not being into it wholeheartedly makes a challenging situation a lot more difficult. You should want to do it because you and your husband have decided it's what YOU want for YOUR future. It's not these other fucking peoples future. Fuck them for pressuring you that way! Obviously, that strikes a nerve with me considering my own history of someone deciding I was going to have kids before I decided for myself.

That doesn't mean that every other pregnancy scenario is going to be awful. Plenty of people have rewarding lives with unexpected children. But doing it because some selfish (and they are absolutely being selfish) people want grandchildren or because friends wish you were in the same situation as them because they think it's abnormal for them to have kids and not you.....that shit makes about as much sense as an arranged marraige. It's up to you and only you to decide if and when you want to have kids. Those people will not be the ones with a lifelong obligation.

 

My daughter came along when I was 25. I had to wait until I was married as I was in the army at the time and would not have been eligible for army accommodation so I would not have seen much of my child.
However the main reason was at that time is that financially we were ok. I think that for us if we had struggled in that way it may have taken a bit of the joy from being new parents.
I do regret however not having more kids. Due to things out of my ex-wifes control we could not have anymore. As a result of this at 30 years old I had a vasectomy we thought we would be together always but not to be.
I suppose factually speaking age and money come into it also your relationship status if you like is important...x

 

It seems like if you wait until you are "ready", you'll wait forever. Do you want to have kids, or do you want to want to have them?

 

I want to have them. I just don't think I am ready quite yet.....

 

Are you tired of having your own life?

 

Negative.

 

There are plenty of young teddy bears that are up for adoption at the toy store.

 

I'm a step-parent but feel I can answer for my girlfriend quite accurately.

She had a child fairly young but was in a relationship and got married before giving birth. Unfortunately her first marriage failed because of substance abuse on the part of the father and she struggled to make peace with it. Ultimately she started dating again and was in a relationship for about a year with a guy who was living at her place and unbeknownst to her had some drug issues. She was going to break up with him but according to her he used defective condoms and she got pregnant, decided to get a house with him, had another child and then ultimately divorced him leaving him the house because she didn't want to drag things out.

She tells me if she had known all that was to happen, as much as she loves her children, she probably would have waited until her 30s and not engaged in any risky sexual behaviour until she had a house and knew the background of the guy fully. But that being pretty unrealistic given how she did love her first husband, she says that after him having the one child at that point she wishes she had tied her tubes then.

 

i can't really think of any reasons why i'd want to have kids. children just seem like they'd be such a distraction.

 

When you're 20 they're a nightmare.
When you're 25 they're a distraction.
When you're 30 they're a nuisance.
When you're 35 they're what everyone else has.

LOL.

I DO find it extremely common for childless people in their late 30s to change their tune and become phenominally desperate to have a kid. Life gets boring. lol.

 

Past 40 and I assume beyond is a weird sensation, you kind of get bored with everything in one way but at he same time some of the smaller things you are more happier with or settle for

Coudlnt give a shit about buying a new car, not going to get excited no matter what, but a decent cup of coffee is like halelujah.

And just sitting and watching things gets more interesting for some reason

 

I always wanted children and when I did it (in my 30's) I found it was the best thing and the hardest thing I have ever done. The rewards are worth every second of worry, frustration...etc.