any funny stoned stories?

so yesterday i was high for my first time.i was smoking some bud shit. i was super stoned after a few hits.i dont remember anything but today my friend chris told me i ran in his closet and said 'THE PASSAGE TO NARNIA IS SEADLED!!! :O ' hahahaha. and then my friend zach fell alseep and i called some of my friends and i was like 'ZACH'S DEAD!!' and i was crying.& then i said i felt like i was in a kid cudi music video? hahahhhaha funniest shit i ever heard.

 

ok, The first time i ever got stoned was kinda painful....
i pulled my first bill in one, held it for about 5 seconds and blew out this huge cloud of smoke, i then stood up and then passed out on the floor. i then got a second wind about a minute later where i stood up, walked to these two steps at the end of my mates veranda and then passed out and fell down them. i woke up on my mates driveway to his sisters headlights.....

 

so the other day i was driving around with my friends bree and kayla and we were all stoned/tripping on shrooms. were driving on main street(a busy road) when i come to a red light, so i stop ofcourse. but i ended up totally spacing out at the red light, i actually thought i was watching a movie, so i really wanted popcorn , so i frantically searched my car for some, i didnt find any, but i did find gum which made us all so happy that we legit screeched with joy and didnt even notice the light changing green, so everyone starts honking, and were getting pissed cuz we wanted to watch the movie(which was actually traffic) but anywho, i finally snap out of it and theres cars angrily driving around me honking and shit, so i automaticlly think that im on the track at the hudson speedway(local car racing place) so i freak the fuck out and i yell to my friends WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO?! theryre still watching ''the movie'' and not noticing me screming and yelling, so i floor it, and i see dunkin donuts, so im like ''alright?... i guess im not at the hudson speed way..'' so i park there and just sit there trying to collect myself, but everything got weirder, everytime 'someone walked by' i swear they were pressing their faces against the windsheild and drooling all over it(this happened for a good 30 minutes), so i turn on the wind sheild wipers and look around, theres noone anywhere, at all, so i just decided to turn off the car, lock the doors close all the windows curl up in a ball in the drivers seat and just sit there for atleast an hour, while having strange mind trips. once i started coming down i drove my friends home, then i went home and went to bed. awesome day!

 

The third time i smoked i underestimated the potency of what me and some friends had gotten our hands on.
To shorten the story it ended up with me curled up in a ball in the trunk of my buddies car chewing on a burrito like a squirrel outside of taco bell waiting for the 5-0 to show up and take me away. At the time it was absolutely horrifying but now i can look back on it and laugh.
Never underestimate the power of cannabis.

 

searched for 20 minutes and couldn't find the burger i had been eating so i walked 7 blocks to McDonald's to get another one, only to realize it was in my hand the entire time and i had eaten half of it on the way there...

 

^Your avatar is very cool........

 

you know when your so stoned you're super focused on whatever your doing?

ok so i just got a gram of hash oil and some really good citrusy orange bud. I was planning on having a quiet night because i had to wake up early the next day. Nevertheless it was a special night because i had some hash oil and i just bought a brand new glas bong from my local shop to celebrate. so after im done all my work, i set up a movie and start hitting some super packed bowls with a drop of the oil on top. after 6 or 7 bong hits i get that heroin-like feeling that you only get with hash. im melting into my couch but i start getting super extrememly hungry.

so i go venture into my kitchen, and at this point im so high im planning out sandwhich skematics in my head. i start making a bad ass sandwhich with just about everything that could go in a sandwhich. by the time im done, its like 5 inches off the plate. theres like ham, cheese, veggies, avocado, bacon, chips, everything! it took me like 25 minutes just to make this fucking sandwhich. in the process of making this mother of all sandwhiches i realize that im higher than usual, much much higher than usual.

so i get back on the couch, put my feet up and take a few bites out of my sandwhich and somehow i fall asleep still holding on to the sandwhich which is just laying on my chest. i woke up the next morning with my breakefast staring at me and half my face covered in mustard.

 

Me driving stoned in Seattle- Going about 20 miles an hour. Car comes up behind me---" oh shit--it's a cop. Damnit--I'm gonna' get busted -(panic) --oh, man I can't go to jail-

---shit, here he comes-----. Car passes me. I continue. A car is behind me again---oh shit--it's a cop--I can't go(panic)-------car passes. Panic,rinse and repeat.

( I much preferred driving on L. MJ made me panic.)

 

Police officer : ''How high are you?'' Pothead : ''No officer, It's ''Hi, how are you?''

 

Me and two other male hippies and a female hippy. Driving that beautiful road to Hana Maui. Had some L and some weed. Arrived and continued on out to a rocky point walking.

The girl stripped off and was sunning herself and I and one of the other guys was smoking a huge joint. Just as I was taking a huge toke, a cop stuck his head around some rocks, saw me and just shook his head. He continued on to tell the female to get dressed and we were brought to an office behind a little courtroom. There were now two cops lecturing us about public nudity (we could be seen from the cop shop on the hill) and all of a sudden-----the girl with us spoke up---"you guys telling me you don't like tits," as she pulled her top up around her neck and displayed a HUGE set to the cops! They were so flabbergasted at the sight--they started laughing and said--" you hippies get out of here!" We passed through the little courtroom and the girl grabbed the little statue of 'justice on the way out. We had taken the L just before we were taken to the cop shop----so when we left , ( I was driving my '58 chevy station wagon--which I left at the airport when I left Maui--with the keys in it. Saw it a year later--full of hippies driving around)---it absolutely looked like I was driving on a mirror.

(seems like there were two girls with us---but frankly--I don't remember!) Ahh--those were the days, my friends. Those were the days. Got a million of 'em.

 

I have one well more dumbest stoners caught on camera. so I stayed over night at a casino with my friend we got a smoking room was no vent in the bathroom so we thought ok if the window opens then we will blow our hits out the window there was only one big window and that was the pool room nothing ells there so we thought ok so we were putting our faces up to the window screen and blowing it out was so obvious what we were doing we went back to the room I took 2 hits then my friend was like what do you see above the pool window? I was like nothing he said look again there was a fucking camera pointing right at our room window. How the hell did we not see it during the day? I guess cause at night the light was shinning right on the camera I went into panic mode then we went down to the bar I was having a beer and a security grad walked in I thought he was going to come up to us but didn't so stupid never again my friend had got some nasty big cigars to cover up the smell and if anyone question us we would say we were smoking them and didn't want the room to stink like cigar smell I could not believe we didn't see that camera if we had there is no way we would have smoked better take a drive instead either way so stupid