Ran Out Of Toilet Paper While Shitting (Please Help)

So i am currently shitting, (posting this from my laptop) and realzed that i have no toilet paper in my bathroom. I was cleaning it out yesterday and must have misplaced my emergency roll. Wtf do I do?I have nothing in my bathroom except shower stuff and a rug. Please help and give me suggestions

 

I'm sorry but it sounds like you are shit out of luck.

 

Yea yea very funny. This happened to me once like 10 years ago and i tried to like crawl to another bathroom but ended up getting shit on the carpet. Not doing that again...

 

It was a predictable response.

Although, I must admit I now have a visual in my head of how dogs rub their hiney on the carpet. I will send you some virtual TP, but I don't think that is going to help.

 

first thing you do in every bathroom is check the paper. public you check twice to cover the seat with it to protect your ass first.

getting caught with shit and no paper.

dude r0llin common.

 

It's all over my hand..

 

wipe it on your face and go buy groceries.

 

.

 

Well I do need greek yogurt and a few other things. My friend should be here in about 45 minutes to get me TP from the other bathroom thank god

 

How messy are you? Can't you just walk somewhere for more tp? lol

 

Well if you read what I wrote above this same thing happend about 10-12 years ago and i tried to get to another bathroom that time and ended up getting shit all over the carpet.

 

so in other words, when you are done, you are still dripping?
You gotta do that hold butt cheeks together very tightly weird baby shuffle walk.

 

Are you wearing a good tshirt?

 

just get in the shower and wash yourself off

 

he might be a sear's

 

I dont wanna ruin my shower. And no im not wering a t shirt because I always shat nekkid. ive just been watching youtube videos waiting for my friend to arrive

 

With shit all over your hand...

 

Did you at least flush so you aren't hovering over a bowl of poop?

 

Tried to but toilets clogged.

 

Tmi