How long do you wait to first have sex when your in a relationship with someone?

But it is if a person prefers it to be. To me it's important that I am giving myself because I really want to be with that person. It would never feel right to be having it with just anyone unless I knew I trusted and loved them enough to do it with them. Plus there is the health factor. I like to have the time to be sure they don't have the gift that keeps on giving if you know what I mean.
I like knowing I haven't been marked as a slut, easy lay, and all that goes with having sex just to have it with peeps just because I became attracted to them, they need to make me want them as I try to make sure They want me.
You being a health nut makes me sure you are much more careful then the general public. I'd hate to hear I picked something up so I do try to be careful enough to protect myself, ain't no man worth me being sick or having to tell my next I carry something like herpies.

 

People treat sex as they feel it should be treated.

 

Sex is sacred in certain situations, IMO. The one on one sex I have with my husband is extremely sacred and special to me. Everyone else is just for fun, and not the least bit sacred.

 

This is pretty much my belief after a lifetime of experience with sex.

Sort of a natural occurrence, like eating. It is just a bodily function to share with another and hopefully experience joy with that person. You can go to dinner with a friend once or twice without committing to a lifetime of eating together.

 

I tend to think that sex is exactly as important as the two people define it. It has as much meaning as you think it does. . No minimum or maximum wait time required.

 

But I have eaten with crowds of people. I hate to argue your posts because I usually love what you have to say but this confuses me a bit just because eating and sex are so far from being anything like each other. The difference between casual clothing on and clothes off, skin to skin connection and what should include romance and so much more then a dinner can offer.

 

I was just comparing two sensual experiences we humans enjoy and how we take one for granted but overthink the other.

Yes, sex can be a mate-bonding experience and if you are in a relationship that is good. But sex can also be a loving moment with a total stranger whom you won't be seeing again and possibly whose name you don't even know. (Yeah, I have done that and enjoyed it) While it is now mostly a guy thing with other men, back in the '60s girls were into hooking up that casually.

 

All but one of the people I've dated had already had sex with me before. Everybody I've dated was already a friend and I'm fine having sex with any of my friends.

 

I don't think anybody here is saying your approach is wrong. The main point is that it's your choice to make, not a choice for someone (or society in general) to make for you.

Yes, and it changes over time, with age and maturity and sexual experience.

 

:rofl: A whole new spin on blowjobs!

 

Well there's enough women out there where that obviously isn't enough, and the sex quality topics (like penis size, but not exclusively) remains an issue for many guys, especially when "how you use it" is so vague and non-specific a reply from womenkind to mankind...the phrase itself loses it's meaning in mass culture because it's a politically correct term and nobody knows the truth behind when it's said anymore.


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Here's a philosophical question for all.

What is "sacred" even mean when describing anything? Does everybody here think it's purely subjective?


Is life sacred? Is that subjective? If not what makes it objective?

I ask this because the majority here seem to be saying sex's sacredness is subjective, when I can't think of a single historical human society that didn't place the act on some level of commerce, power, personal meaning in family dynamics, and in modern day a health life/death issue.

 

I don't

 

So it's objective then to you? You don't think sex being sacred is subjective?

 

I go ahead and do it early on.

Why not?

 

I think sex is sacred but I don't think its something to withhold or deny if it is the time its the time its not something to wait for.

 

Of course it's subjective! What do any of us really have besides our own opinions?

 

Well, back when I was dating I had a couple of rules for myself. If I had sex with a lady on our first date, it was going to be just a sexual relationship and take it for what it was.. If I had sex with a lady on the second date, there could be something there, but probably not, so enjoy the great sex. If there wasn't an extreme chemistry, I ended it after the second date if we didn't sleep together.
So, I am easy and over confident in myself, but that is what I did. Anyway,
If I just could not imagine anything on a date other than figuring out if she was a good kisser, then there was a longer term possibility, because I love kissing.
So, all in all, it doesn't matter. How long it takes is up to you, your partner and your feelings at the moment..

 

About an hour.

 

I will often get oral sex on a first date, but intercourse can wait until I am sure about a girl.

 

Took two days once we physically met but would have done the deed on night one had her friend and my mate not been in the bed next too us. Got my fingers inside though. :2thumbsup:

 

Yea, I was reading along the last few pages of this thread and I'm, first of all, not even totally sure I understand his question... or rather, why the confusion about it. (the question). In my opinion, regarding whether sex is sacred or not... of COURSE it is subjective. And the reason being is, if someone or someones feel it is sacred and view it as a sacred act, then it is sacred to them and since they are the only people involved, that is all that matters and they are correct. If someone doesn't feel it's sacred but just a bodily function-scratching an itch or what not.... well, then it's not sacred cause they say so.

For me sex has been very sacred at times..... and it's been far, far, far from it.




and to answer the original question of the thread.... I never had a set time or set waiting (or not waiting) period. I've waited not at all when I've met someone. And I've held off for a good amount of time before because with that person(s) it seemed like... the thing to do to wait for the right time. Who are all these people who have hard and fast rules?