I should commission a call centre in India. "Good morning, do you have a few moments spare for a survey I am conducting? Question 1 - are you a pig, fatso, slut or a loser? Answer 1 for strongly agree, 2 for slightly agree..."
Here, it looks like- The 80 20 rule (or pareto principle) has been - Extrapolated and - Generalized --to include all single men and women. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pareto_principle This seems to arise from ignorance of set theory. There are different and distinct sets, where this principle can not apply. For example- will it be right if I say-80% population lives in 20% countries? So, Move on.....
There's nothing like a troll for kicking the hell out of a sleeping dog. I think one of the most interesting things to come out of the thread is the idea that increasing sexual freedom can result in decreased sexual opportunities for the typical young man. I never thought about it that way before, but I can follow the logic, and can't honestly say that it isn't happening. Like I said before, the good news for those guys is that their problem is temporary. But this double standard about them having to "settle" for "used women" later on needs to crawl inside a time machine and slither back to 1954, where it belongs. I take with a grain of salt any set of human statistics that doesn't take age into consideration. Especially where sex in involved. The current trend is for women to become open to serious relationships later and later in life. I have mixed feelings about this, but I understand why it's going on.
I have mixed feelings to be honest about this argument, but it's not so much the "used part" that concerns me, and it's not equally just looking at women, I see men equally culpable because they spread disease around too. What I specifically want to know, is the prevalence behind how many "settled long term marriages" are dealing with a chronic STD/STI, that was contracted during the "wild days" of either person's youth. If you're partner loves you, it shouldn't really matter though, but it is a huge annoyance within a long term monogamous relationship, not to mention that to treat and live with will cost $ on the budget.
This all makes A LOT more sense considering I'm sure there is more than 20% of females that are either in relationships and don't cheat or don't have open relationships, or just aren't sleeping with anyone, or whatever. Other things like that. A LOT more sense.
When you look at it like that with that perspective, which acknowledges a broader picture of how people behave, I have to agree as well.
Failure to practice safe sex is a separate but related issue. Condoms do a great job with HIV and hepatitis. Herpes is not a particularly expensive or intrusive condition for most, and there is now a vaccine for HPV. Our national STD situation could be under good control right now, if people put a priority on it. With great freedom comes great responsibility.
:smilielol5: I'm sorry, I just find it funny that the guy was hating on "the top 20%" and likely included pickup artists in his grouping, but he was most likely reading pickup artist sites This explains a lot, especially that last paragraph People are funny
Agreed they are very effective when used properly. But the problem remains as I have said on other threads, that while in theoretical discussion and debate the issue of "playing the field" with multiple sexual partners and the spread of STD/STI's can be divorced, in reality they can't BECAUSE a large majority of people are irresponsible with protection. Some people won't have sex with a condom because they feel it invalidates the true experience of sex, or for some other reason like alcohol impairing judgement in the heat of the moment, or a latex allergy. Some also have the view that contracting something, is fine because you can just take an antibiotic and clear things up. ^The problem with that is the bacteria (and this is now a problem with all use of antibiotics for all sorts of diseases not just STD/STI's) is that strains are becoming antibiotic resistant, meaning you risk a painful death sentence by nature and potential acts of giving other people a death causing strain. These problems in the near future are only gonna get worse if the mass culture continues with the approach of not looking at or downplaying the risks behind sexual freedom's dark side (i.e. Those who adopt sexual freedom + irresponsibility as they exercise it, for whatever psychological reasons such as thrill seeking or rebelliousness or outright sociopathy for not caring who they'll hurt). You are likely to encounter such profiles of people when you are doing this behavior generally speaking.
There has been a lot of discussion about how well you need to know somebody before you have sex with them. I look at the issue a little differently. I say before a girl is alone with a guy in an isolated setting, she needs to know him well enough to be sure he doesn't have any rapist tendencies. If the girl insists that he use a condom (typical), and he says it's important to him not to use one (somewhat typical), and he insists on getting his way, that's date rape (much too common). I know of two ways to avoid this situation. One is to always party with a trusted friend, at least until you get into a true relationship where there is mutual trust. Guys like this, because they might get some action for one of their friends, or he might get a three-way hookup. It's extremely rare for a date rape to take place in front of a witness. That's an express ride to prison. The other solution is to hookup at parties, not too far away from the main room. At the college parties I went to, if somebody heard a girl scream, half a dozen big football players would have gone running back there to beat the shit out of the guy who was causing the problem. Not necessarily because they were all such perfect, selfless gentlemen, but mostly because they didn't want girls to be afraid to come to those parties. Well... there is a third solution. The girls can just hook up with each other. That's growing in popularity too. Too bad for the guys.
I liked Cherea's comments. I remember when I was single I felt the same way, but keep in mind that guys do "truly" want a chick who is confident and has respect for herself. You don't want a guy who is shallow, cause that's all they are seeing when they are sleeping with the "easy" girls. The shallow guys are just trouble and they aren't even worth the time of day. Be true to yourself, and I know a lot of people think this is cheesy but it truly does play an important role/part. Truly know who you are and want you want and love yourself. This lesson (loving ones self) was one of my hardest lessons to learn.
Can't say I knew how to love myself all along either, but I did always make sure my man loved me before he got right into my life and if that's being choosy on this 80/20% thing then good for me. I have never been hurt by any man and I do take the time to pick wisely, hoping every woman would as should all men. If you don't cut it for most women then you need to work on what's wrong and worry less about numbers, it's your problem and until you fix it no numbers will get you sex or love. Love yourself, find someone who loves You and be happy to fall into the numbers you like then. But remember, we are not physically the strongest in our species and we will try to be picky unless we were taught not to care about ourselves, then you got something not so worth while to deal and live with. Don't expect sex unless you got a fat wallet, make yourself interesting to someone so they can love you, we are just there for the taking, we have likes and dislikes too.
girls want a guy who is confident. it's really not that important of a factor to guys in choosing a girl.
well that's initial attraction anyway. which is mostly what this thread is about after all. but even regarding actual relationships, i don't want someone with severe self esteem issues or anything, but a degree of insecurity is very cute and tends to keep girls a bit more down to earth, while really confident women tend to be kind of obnoxious.