How do I stop the excuses my gf gives me

Sounds like a shitty relationship to me. I'd go find something else. It's not because you aren't getting any or anything, it's just the basis that you're unhappy and she won't help you.
Mind you, I have a hard time believing anything I read in the sex forum that comes from a new poster so frankly I'm surprised so many regs aren't putting you down. Whatever floats they boat though.

 

You need to talk to her about this. Why does she get pissed if later she likes it? You need to establish a "safe" word that means "STOP, NO, I Don't Want it!" so that you know what she means.

She's playing a dangerous game here and you need to establish rules. When I say NO, I mean it. She should too. There are other ways to "fake" protest without saying "stop, No, etc." You need to figure this out together.

As for being tired, she's a hairdresser. So? Other women work and have kids and they are tired too. Yet they find time for sex. As for headaches, if they are migraines, I sympathize. I once had a migraine. I felt like I was being stabbed in the eyes and I couldn't describe the pain in my head. For Sinus headaches, get something like an eye mask she can heat up or cool down and put on her eyes/forehead. (I got one at Bed Bath and Beyond). It helps tremendously. Or she can take pills for regular headaches. (sometimes if I don't eat on time, I get massive headaches. If headaches are an almost daily occurrence, she should see her doctor.)

I have said "no" to DH when having really bad headaches. And we've been intimate when I've had mild headaches. The point is we both want sex, so IF one of us says no, there is a reason. (DH rarely turns down sex, but there have been one or two occasions where he was just too tired by the time I got the kids to bed.)

DH has a very high sex drive and always has (he's in his 40s now). Ideally, he wants it 3x/daily. That's not practical, so we aim for every night. (We usually end up succeeding once a week.) If we don't have sex, he masturbates. It's fine with me. Find out if that's a solution with g/f.

As other posters said, sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship, but it is impt. Even my horn dog DH says it's about 25% of a relationship.

As for gf, her sex drive will probably start to increase in her 30s. (Then maybe you won't be able to keep up!)

 

Lots? There was just two of us that called him an asshole. It's not like we called him anything offensive like a rapist or anything..

 

You're getting responses from people saying that sex isn't that important, or the most important thing. I think it's way up there though. Sex is so essential. It creates a bond and trust. It relieves stress. I've only been in one relationship with someone where their sex drive didn't match mine and it was hell. I was constantly depressed because my needs weren't met, that relationship ended. We weren't sexually compatible. So maybe it's just me but I think it's very important to find someone you're sexually compatible with.

 

He didn't say he wants it so he goes and gets it and it feels like raping her.
He said she implies it's ok to take it that way even tho she says No and he feels bad taking it that way even tho it seems she'd say No if he asked nicely.
She is leaving him in a spot of thinking he can have it but only if he goes after it and she let's on it's ok then. It's odd, she is playing High Maintenance on her part by making him take and then enjoying it herself as well.
I use that word like a safe word, No, Not now, because it's universal and even if your guy spoke no English he'd get it. Men are not stupid, they know when she don't want to but if we play the word then it's like mind fuck games.
It's not right to say no and tell him it's ok. Her or him.
Mind you when my guy attempts, a few times I have ran away and made him chase me in a playful way but he knows I am just making him work for it, in a good way. He does the same kidding around because it's definitely not a "Do you want it now?" "Is this a good time?" kind of question, we know each other enough to know when is good and when is not. Sometimes he doesn't want to because he worked a long day and really is tired. He moves a lot of heavy stuff around, I don't anymore but I know the feeling of being spent after a whole day of giving it to the work place.
Mostly when the day is done for both of us we cuddle and it turns into the moment or we just feel like a nice relaxing moment to snooze holding each other. We do a lot of cuddling when we are together, not every moment of that has to be sex but I never turn it down.
And to Rainy,,, yes comparability is key, seems she gets that in a very different way tho, she might be ok about it but she let's him believe it's not ok, unless he is willing to take it. She needs to understand it's not right to play that way, if she is really on the same level as he is. It almost makes me think they would have it more often if she didn't let him believe he had to wait till the right No comes along.

 

Okay, I'll retract that. My bad I over exaggerated.

"A few" in place of that word "lots".

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Yeah the relationship sounds off in communication. It needs to be fixed or a breakup needs to happen.

 

Ok let me clarify real quick. If she tells me no, then I stop...well I might persist just a little bit more but I have respect for my woman. I have had migraines before so I understand that. I like to make her feel sexy so I start to just take it because like I said it makes her feel sexy. But at the same time I feel like I have to put in a two week request because she acts a different way then she talks sometimes as I'm sure you all have come to realize.

 

Work on communication with her, and how it makes you feel, and her feel, and what she is really trying to say within the bounds of respect.

 

Also come right out and ask her why she says no but then later says it's ok to just take it. That's the real issue here. We can't do that to our man. Kidding might be ok when both partners know it's a teasing thing in a way but to actually say No but later say she likes you to take it leaves you thinking you should rape it out of her.
Not right on either side, she is trying to tell you No doesn't really mean no and that's not right. Does she like the thought of being raped for her pleasure? It's possible, some women do like the thought of their man acting out as a sneak in rapist in a roll playing style but that should be understood as roll playing then by both so the hubby isn't thinking other.
One day she could mean it and be really upset with you and how should you know? She might tell someone, a friend or family member you took it and they might look at you as if you are a schmuck for doing so. Not a good place to be if you are not the kind to do so.

 

I hate the mind games that chicks play..that's all

I can play them way better too, I have books on social engineering lol but see....I don't wanna play games, I want a fuckin relationship lol

A relationship isn't supposed to be a game

 

I don't like games either, Ace....

 

I also do not like interferers who are full of bull shit....constant constant bullshit....and who should mind their own goddamn business already!

My question is who let them in?

 

Who let the dogs out? Boom,,,, boom, boom,,, who let the dogs out!?

 

no dogs....just constant bull shit that is neverending. I have had enough of it...plain and simple.

 

"I am a gentleman so I try to be gentlemanly to her and not rape her, but I almost feel like I have to in order to get any."

What a terrible thing to say, I don't know how you meant it but it sounded terrible.

Anyway, it sounds like she was being sarcastic when she said she loves how you fuck her when she has no choice. Maybe there is a reason she is acting this way. Maybe she feels like she gets pressured a lot so is hesitant to have sex with you. (I know that feeling).Or maybe she is upset about something or really does just feel tired or just doesn't have a huge sex drive or something.

I do not know any of these things for sure. So maybe it is best to just talk with her. And I'd recommend you not say you are trying not to rape, but it almost feels like it in order to get some. That probably will come out the wrong way and turn her off. Probably.

 

Hey, Drawing, glad you got his thread back on key.Good to see you, BTW....

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ei1_o7d25og"]A Tribe Called Quest - The Infamous Date Rape 08 - HQ ( The Low End Theory ) - YouTube

Listen to the song

 

How romantic....:leaving: