So my boyfriend just...

Bitterness,,, no, not at all. I have never had a bad experience with sex so I can't see why you think this. Read the OP and see if you think the same thing after understanding this threads purpose. Most women do enjoy pleasing their men, you are right but being used, don't kid yourself, a man would be pretty pissed too if his woman played with him long enough to get herself off and walked away. I think you are reading me as you wish but not reading my responses as they are meant to be for the original post as it is. No women do not enjoy being used, and neither do men, maybe those being in some situation of desperation where they might allow this kind of stuff to happen.
I know a woman in that situation. Her hubby saved her off the street, once they got married a year later he started reminding her how she could still be on the street, she is considering it. I am surprised she has been so long leaving. He treats her like shit in every way he can now and she is feeling it badly, that makes me bitter, to watch her suffer.

 

Based off what I'm hearing, it pains me to say that he doesn't sound right for you. He has to be using you or at least not have strong feelings for you like you may do him. May the miracle of true love come to you? I hope you find it.

 

I think she dealt with it Cloud999, sounds like they talked about it and he understands her position on this issue.

Welcome to the forums, I hope you have fun here.

 

Sallysmart, again, your world view is way too small. There are a lot of women that love being used because of what they get more from the emotional/mental aspect. It's a positive for them. Not at all to do with being desperate.

 

Seems to me, more of a problem of self-arrogance than self-satisfaction - and therefore more of mental, than physical aspect, of a problem

 

I am one such girl. I give nearly every time he asks. He on the other hand works a very mentally straining job, and I am lucky if I can get it a couple nights a week, myself, as I am more of a night person than a morning person like him. I'm mostly on his schedule and take it where I can get it. I am understanding, as my work schedule is also adding to the problem, but sooner or later your patience runs out and you just want some sexual attention yourself...

Not to sound like a martyr or anything. He is extremely talented at what he does, and it usually holds me over till our next encounter.

 

If you really are one of those girls, then what he did is perfectly natural in that relationships and I'm not really sure what you're posting for. I can understand being annoyed that you got all hot and didn't get to cum and posting about it, but you don't seem to be countering these comments that imply this guy is some weird selfish neanderthal jerk who violated you.

 

You keep convincing yourself that women like being used. I doubt it. Women like climaxing too, I would like to hear it from those women who LIKE being used. Sorry but it doesn't seem positive at all. The op didn't like it but has found a resolve. Really you think that? Is that what the guys told you in the locker room and you bought it? Oh right, now I am a feminist,,, hahaha. Maybe you are talking a Dom/sub situation but thats a whole different thing. I don't think this OP was in a dom/sub relationship.
I'd like to hear what some of the married guys here say about their wives. Do their wives like to wake up to their man jacking off and leaving them in a half heated mess while he runs out the door, done like dinner? Bet they would rather get him off themselves and have a little fun too. I would, I am a part of those feelings he gets,,, And THAT is what this thread was about. Not what you think women like or what you are told they like,,, seems we talk about your thoughts more then the op message given on threads. Read back, first post on this one. She didn't like it. It almost seems like you are generalizing this thread to make what happened to her seem ok.
News bit for ya, we are just as horny as you are. Many guys can cum once, (my guy once, maybe later again if we go at it again) maybe twice with a break, the odd one more in a night, most woman could three times in a row and up to six or more times in a night. My max was six, my usual is two to three. Tonight was two because he wanted to go out to dinner first, and he had to get home by 11 before his dogs bark and drive his tenants batty. Once he moves in here in April he wants to try for six,,, So ya men are awesome!
And by the end of April his 56 chevy should be finished and he said we are gonna rape each other in the back of that car,,, man I can't wait! Painting goes on next Saturday, I will try to post pics,,, of the car that is,,, hee hee. Now lighten up dude. I have lots of love and respect for a good man and have met a few really great men. I even see tons of them, men and women on here who seem to have their shit together about a good love relationship.

Oh and if you were right, there would be no need for sex therapists, we would all take what a guy wants and there would be no issue. Guys would never Want or need to take the time to understand us,,, or us to understand them. Seems the men I have met want to understand. Maybe I am something special huh,,, na, I think I just been lucky maybe. Dunno, but I have never watched a man jack off in my bed and do my job. That would hurt my feelings I think, at least leave me very confused. But,,, I could totally understand if we were apart for a while. My X hubby of nine years said he had to a few times while we both had to go off for months at a time from each other for tours and courses we had to do.

 

All of those other times, he asked. That's the difference, here. I was able to give consent to give without receiving in return. That is what this is about. Not some temper tantrum that he didn't get me off. I am quite capable of that on my own. He took without asking with no regard for my feelings. I get why now but he still knows not to do it again. We understand each other now.

 

Its a good thing that you understand each other now. Some people learn to think of other people's feelings later in life than others.

I am refering to him understanding your feelings.

 

Sallysmart, I'm not "convincing" myself, it's a fact. Numerous studies and surveys show lots of women enjoy both being used and situations where consent is questionable (with someone they are with). Any lick of common sense and experience show that. Women replying to these posts have said that and if you visited any D/s site you'd see there are tons of them. And they're that way regardless of any formal D/s situation. You denying that women like this exist is like someone denying bisexual women exist. It's ludicrous, condescending, dismissive, and so patently absurd, it can only serve to enlighten others as to how faulty your world view is.

To OP, seems like you two have found a seemingly clear line, but I think that's going to prove a little blurry down the road... just stuff to be worked out though, not anything to get upset over.

 

Funny I don't know any of these types altho I know openly gay people and even people who say they are submissive, you are talking submissive I am sure and hat works,,, doms and subs do exist, point is women like the op o are seemingly not as you say don't like it. You are again generalizing as if to say she should like it because she does because women do,,, not so.
I have had many a friend complain their man treated them like shit for some reason or another, sex related or not and no generally we like to have a partner, hence why we, men and women now call our spouses partners rather then The wife, or The husband. Anyone notice that?
I know many and so do you who left a relationship for the same reasons, back in the day it was considered ok but now people do strive to find one who will treat them like a lover, is probably why the rate of living together before marriage has changed over the years too..
Now in a Dom /sub situation I can see the woman, or the man being treated as such and test me, many men like to be the sub too. But it's a whole different thing. Women in general like to know their lives are full of the good thongs too and contrary to popular belief it's not always about jewelry or money. Women tend to work their half and support their half more then years ago.
I am not going to ask you for links on your beliefs because then it means I have to provide links to mine and today and this week I do have a lot of thongs to do, one is getting my place ready for my man to move in and he is helping but there is lots to do especially since he has two dogs that are moving here, need to build fences for them in the dog yard at the back because I have a dog too and they will need more space.
Anyway, stats don't tell you everything, ask a real man what she likes, bets are you find out she wants a man to love her, not just use her. And my other bet is if you find any who Like to be used there was something in her younger years she lives off of be it good or bad in her mind.
Oh and I do know one woman (friend) who did like to be used by her fuckbuddy, her hubby was a dud as she put it and her needs were covered by this guy, in a sub kind of way, this guy was a friend of mine too but not a fuckbuddy, never needed one of those because again I never have a problem finding a good man when I want one. So ya yer right, there are a few.

 

Wow, that's a really long, round-about way to say you admit you were wrong, but a few points you still haven't gotten: 1) being used for sex on occasion or even regularly does not mean the relationship is all one-sided or bad. You're making assumptions about the other 99% of that relationship you have no idea about even claiming that it is mutually exclusive to a man that love's her... ridiculous faulty logic and jugementalism again. 2) A woman who enjoys being used on occasion does not require a D/s relationship so stop trying to claim that only subs enjoy it or that anyone who enjoys it should be in D/s. 3) Give up the PC non-sense. Nobody cares how many gay friends you have or what term you use to describe your boyfriend. It has no bearing on the discussion. 4) No, I've never generalized that anyone "should" enjoy being used sexually on occasion. I've generalized that it is a very common and enjoyable thing for women and when someone like you comes along trying to convince other people that it's some personal degrading violation of their humanity, I'm going to rebut it.

 

I did not admit I was wrong, I admitted you could be right in a few cases but you have fun with it, it's why I said it,,, and still I don't know many who like to feel used or degraded by the love of their lives,,, annnnnnyway! We both said our bit and have agreed to disagree and agree so let's let the thread go back to the original topic. We are twisting it into something it is not. We are being unfair to others.

 

Me and the bf don't always sleep fully naked but once we did and I woke up in the middle of the night to find him jacking himself off with my hand. It was pretty hot. He pretended he didn't do it but I knew

If your guy did it to wake himself up then shit I think that would wake anybody up. I wouldn't mind tbh. Especially if it's early in the morning like that, like y'all could just finish the session when he gets back from work.

 

I understand going down town on someone while they sleep. But fondling them and jerking off?! That's just on some sick minded twisted type of thing.

 

If I could even begin to count on that, lol, but he has been known to send me sexy texts telling me what he wants to do to me when I get home and then being like "yeah... nah, I don't feel like it now" when get there. Which I find extremely annoying, but if you're not in the mood, you're not in the mood, so whatever. He's usually pretty destroyed when he gets home from work and I get home 3 hours later, so yeah...

Yesterday, though. Yesterday, I was home when he got home and shit got real pretty fast. I'm good till the weekend, lol.

 

I see a pattern here... a pattern where he is using stimulating your interest as a catalyst in his mind for orgasm. I have dated people like this in the past.

Usually people like this watch too much porn (though I may be wrong in his case). He is turned on by his imagined effect on you but not so much concerned or frustrated about how long it takes for you to get off.

My advice is to ask him questions about the role he wants your intimacy to have in fulfilling both physical and emotional needs... If it were me, I'd want to know exactly how he thinks about sex and its role in your lives. It might give you some insights into his mind that you didnt have before, regardless.

 

Thank you.

 

I am with Whitwhit on this one too.
If my guy wants sex that's great but not this Half way for me crap. He better wake up early enough so we get to play around. Trusting it carries on later doesn't work, thats like waiting for the mailman to drop off a letter then, neither would texting me dirty thoughts and coming home with no love in his thoughts later.
We get worked up, we need a fix just like a guy does. Some guys don't realize that I guess. I would be quite disappointed if I was brought to a point of wanting it and left with nothing. He has issues I think, or had issues if its all fixed.
Texting me in the day time and having nothing when he gets home would make me think he was jerking off in the bathroom at work and was just using me to do it. IMO these actions kinda mean I have nothing for him but a few words to help him get by, or a puss that just waits for his morning reach to get him off, not that he cared so much to really play with it or touch me. Why not just take pictures of naked girls to his locker at work if that's all he needs?
Ma man was busy one day, he had lots of running around town to do, I told him (out of interest of this thread) that I was horny and I need to use him just for a few mins to get off. He looked me in the eye, one eyebrow went up and he said "What???" I took that to mean No and laughed as if it was just a joke I was laying on him. He seemed relieved I wasn't considering him just my sex toy when I need him that way. I think it meant he would like our sex to mean something for both of us but I didn't go into it with him because he seems to have said that already in many ways and words, I just knew I was gonna get the confused look with a little concern from him. No, IMO people don't like to be used, love is a two way street and unless it's understood that way for some reason a guy/gal should hold some respect for their partner.
Altho I did read a story once where a woman was dominant in her relationship, not by choice and did go out just to be dominated, she is the kind who enjoys being dominated for her own reasons. I see that and honestly I don't mind being a sub in the bedroom now and then because it's nice to Not be the boss now and then. Not used tho, never used, and I don't know if that woman would go just to be used. My thinking is she went out to get off in a different way because her hubby couldn't do it the way she needed.